In this world we are judged by our looks than whats on the inside. People get depressed about it,how thin is too thin? we have people throwing up just to lose weight,we have people eating away their worries,or atleast trying. What kind of world what it be like if we never criticized and judges eachother?

The media is very tactical on how they get their messages to the masses...
and too many ppl depend on others to make them feel good about themselves.
I'm 24, but I'm not into the latest fashion or the latest must haves, never been either.
My parents trained me from an early age to be contented with wat we have and never gave me everything I wanted either,
never make fun of those who don't have and never have too much pride in wat I do have.
Therefore I grew up learning to appreciate wat I do have and not be bothered by the material things I don't have.
One tactic the fashion industry and the media uses is pushing fashion that may only be found for size 4/6 women (or somewhere thereabout),
therefore pressurin those who feel the need to keep up with everything into doin wateva they have to do to fit in the damn cloth.
There are alot of healthy, plus size and thick women who keep themselves well-groomed, clean, neat, decent and fresh.
Then there's the whole thing about your nose being too big...
or u have a double chin,
or a couple fat rolls.
People are too obsessed with the whole "Barbie Doll" image and ppl tend to forget that
jus cause u look slim and healthy - doesn't mean u are.

My thoughts?

Contemporary culture has enshrined physical perfection to sedate a deeper desperation for healing, peace, and fulfillment.

Inner transformation is the only way.

You don't have to fall for it. I don't. It didn't happen for me overnight, but I am very comfortable in my own skin now. I love me. Anyone else that can't love me for who I am and is interested only what I look like on the outside can go fuck themselves.

It took me forever to be comfortable in my own skin. People used to think I was a vain bastid. truth of the matter was I was looking for approval on me. In order for me to save me from myself I had to shut down and reflect and revise how I lived and thought.

And with every breath came a change in direction. An old friend of mine once told me " Sometimes you gotta clean that mirror off and look at yourself". And it worked and now I am so comfortable in my skin its not even funny, I love me and I dare anyone to try and take that away from me.

Nobody is ever happy with themselves. Nobody. I don't care how confident you are nobody is perfect. Its just a matter of accepting who you are.

SlimHustle said:

I agree with this. I'm trying to lose weight but I'm also working on accepting what I can't change about myself. And I'm changing my attitude towards other people and myself.

Actually I didn't like or love myself for a good while but I can say I truly accept myself now, I really don't care what people think of me, but I notice if you feel confident on the inside people will take notice thats why I often get a lot of compliments. I am sincere about myself and when I see myself in the mirror, i don't focus on the imperfection that we all see of ourselves when we critique. rather, I focus on the positive qualities that others see all the time and love, and then it all looks so much better, hell i can say I'm sexy.

hmmm.

There are lots of things I don't particularly like about myself. All of them however are things I can change with effort. And all of them I am currently working on.

One thing that helped me is realizing that the way we are now at this very instant is temporary--it's a phase in a process. It's up to us what we'll be like in the next 'phase'

I think that's one of the reasons I can appreciate a really good looking person, feel inspired, but not bow down to them or feel intimidated. It's because their good looking right now . All things fade.

At this point I've simply accepted that I'll never be happy with what I look like. That's just the constant state of being.
So what? So life goes on. There are more important things.

My apologies for expanding the topic a bit, however, it seems the problem is bigger than beauty tho...

Look at the Amber Rose thread, the girl is smoking hot, and ppl still had many negative comments about her appearance, and hey, we are all entitled to our opinion. However, clearly there is no physical standard. It is illusory. Even when we come close to what we deem physical perfection then the break down game begins in other ways... intelligence, spirituality, age, income, race, morals, etc.

So it is imperative that if one desires change that they look within and begin to operate from the place of truth, truth that says you are good and enough right now in this moment. Comparing and criticism just keeps us busy so we never find our truth. It is a distraction.

Big ups for all of you who have found love in the mirror (and nah, i aint talking about that kind of love).

Its been said, but i think you have to accept and love the person you are, God or gene given first of all. if you think you're amazing, noone is gunna take that away. Also I personally define myself by what I try to do in my life and what I say more than how I look like; I feel those things will last long after I've left this world

JuliePurplehead said:

Its all about feeling great; which i heard excercising helps anyway!

Good question. I love who I am, physically, mentally, spiritually and personality wise, and don't give a sh*t who doesn't like it. If I change anything about myself it will be for me, not for others. I don't front just to win acceptance from others. You can accept me for who I am or move on, I won't be mad at you, as there's just too many other folks in this large world to meet.
[Edited 8/23/09 9:29am]

SlimHustle said:

It's a bigger problem than beauty indeed.
One can be pretty or handsome and lack self-confidence.

I know people who can't be themselves around anybody for any reason. All smiles and hugs, but inside they're much more complex and unhappy.

I no longer pretend to nice and happy all the time as it never makes any difference to my friends---they already know when I'm blue or angry.

But I'm still working on being 100% confident. I'm not halfway there yet.

SlimHustle said:

I agree it's a distraction. Just one more thing for us to focus on (this celebrity got FAT! look at her!) instead of focusing on what's REALLY wrong with the world.

I can actually look at myself in the mirror and say " I dig me" lately it seems that my vibe radiates off me now because now people want to smile and talk to me and I guess they feel me alot more than they did. People had this thing contrary to rumor that im a bad person and shit like that. But if they knew the real truth they would know and see me for who I truly am a person who loves life and everything with it.

IAintTheOne said:

great to hear, and yes it does matter a lot how you position yourself when you are outside and meet people, how open you are etc, and it works both ways. if you truly don't wish to be bothered you won't even need words. in the past few years no matter where i go no matter the person i meet they smile like we're blood related, i must say it feels great, to feel that level of acceptance in the end we all come from the same source.

actually this will be fun, next time all of y'all are outside, and you see a person walk or ride a bike, anything like that, or someone at the store, try to be as giving/open as you can be. it was taught to me what you give is what you recieve. 9 out of 10 times this works. and just exp how it feels. it's great imo!

NMuzakNSoul said:

Exactly we all come from the same places and spaces I do not see what the hang up is on some cats. Seem like we all get strung out on who we are sometimes I mean that's cool to a point but the trick is don't let that hang up consume you. you move on from that and become stronger sounds easy but trust me it is far from it.I did it and man I gotta tell you the hangs are few dig?

IAintTheOne said:

Yep!

heybaby said:

While it is true that everyone has flaws they wish they didn't have,
when u accept your flaws, won't it lead to contentment, which also could mean being happy with yourself as u are?

ICE CREAM FOR EVERYONE!!!!

JayJai said:

Of course it means being happy with yourself All I'm saying is that we learn to accept our flaws. I am pretty much saying the same thing just in a different way.

In my case. I feel better when I way less but yeah I fall into all the trappings of trying to be fit. It's so hard for me 'cause I'm addicted to food. So, I remain chubby.

Everyone is beautiful in their own way. It helps to have someone in your life that brings out your innermost beauty - that's a hard thing to sustain on your own, no matter how well you know your own reflection.

heybaby said:

Oh...cool