I ask singles because married/partnered folks appear halfway there. But for the folks who are single: Does your perspective on kids change with time?

I'm starting to really dislike the sound of crying/whining/tantrum-throwing children. Wasn't as bad when I was younger and would occasionally have to babysit a niece or nephew. But, these days, I can't stand the racket. And, the seasonal, recurring expensiveness of kids is starting to sink in: They're always growing and needing new clothes!!! That alone is likely to cut into the guitar budget.

I hear it's different when the crying child is yours, but I'm not so sure...

I never wanted kids. For all of the reasons you mentioned. And mainly cause I have really high ideals on how a child should be raised and I don't think I live up to them. I'm far too selfish.

Over the last 6 years or so, I've had pangs where I utterly and irrationally just WANT one. But then it passes. And I go back to not wanting one. I'm sure it's just girly hormones.

It's pretty much out of the cards for me anyway at this point. I'm 34 and no protential man in sight.

hell




fucking





no

CarrieMpls said:

Yeah, I wonder if I haven't settled into a childless life, even though that's the opposite of what I initially wanted. My buddies have kids and I'm good with 'em (don't break out into hives or anything ), but it looks so remote these days.

Maybe I'll think differently, if/when I get married. But, were I to happen upon the wifey tomorrow, fatherhood would still easily be two-plus years out from now.


[Edited 8/9/09 18:08pm]

Fury said:

ThreadBare said:

no it's NOT it's even worse that sound is designed to force you into action by desperately doing whatever it takes to get that sound to STOP!!!!! which is why it is such an effective communication tool God is a genius like that!

ZombieKitten said:

Dang.

I'm single, and no, I don't want kids. I'm an aunt, and that's perfectly okay by me. I get to spoil the niece/nephews for a couple of hours, and then they go home. I'm not sure how good I would be being around kids 24/7, since I've never been in that situation.

typo edit
[Edited 8/9/09 18:10pm]

ThreadBare said:

if kids sounded pleasant when they were in need, we would probably neglect them it's just that the things they THINK they need they get mixed up with want, and it' decades in educating them into understanding the difference

No way. I don't want to have to give up my free time and money to take care of someone else for 18-24 years. Plus the world is overpopulated as it is. I'm not really very maternal. I used to like kids when I babysat in jr. high; but eight years as a lifeguard, including teaching swimming lessons, cured me of that.

ZombieKitten said:

like guitars for example

psychodelicide said:

Yeah, and think about how it would change your own living habits. I mean, I'm used to practicing at all hours of the night, going out and occasionally playing. I dunno. Changing this late in my life doesn't seem like such a great idea. I have musician buddies who make it work, though. Maybe I should talk with them.

ThreadBare said:

you need a separate studio space with a bed in it

ZombieKitten said:

You're talking crazy talk. Guitars are a necessity, chica.

my mum knitted a fender strat for me

I'm single and yes I do want kids, I don't think time has run out for me yet.

jone70 said:

Yeah, teaching Sunday school and Bible study, and playing with youth choirs has about done that for me, too.

I need to start a separate thread, WHY do people want kids? (and I don't mean people who already have some, cause they are already hooked lined and sinkered )

Statuesqque said:

How old are you, if you don't mind the question?

ZombieKitten said:

ZombieKitten said:

You're on the right thread!!! Pour that inquiry into this one!

YES AN NO.


YES, in the sense that I've been thinking about it lately and said to myself that it would have been nice if I had 2 kids 10 years ago.
I live vicarilously through my sister and her kids sometimes, and I miss it.


No, in the sense that I've had more freedom than all my buds who got married, and more "fun" than they have. My married friends in Tampa used to invite me to their nights out whenever they had "kitchen passes" from their wives; but, I was always expected to know the best hangouts and to make sure the level of entertainment everyone was having was up to par. Now, for a long hot minute, that was flattering--being thought of as the 'fun' one. Despite the fact that for the last 6/7 years I had been in and out of a relationship (often turning serious at points) I still lived the life of a single man, and she a single woman. But sometime in late mid 2008-ish I began to realize that my married buds may have been looking for some fun and excitement in their lives, but it wasn't like they truly envied me or anything--they had families!
There is NOTHING like having kids wake up on Christmas morning and screaming with thrill over their new presents. Or watching my nephew for no reason whatsoever just walk up to my sister and hug her to tell her he "loved her more than anybody mommy "... I mean, you can't shake a stick at that


So, even though I'm nurtured a life that has afforded me ample room to play, I feel the ticking of time and think of the future ALL. THE. TIME. My lifespan is halfway over... I can't think of anybody who wouldn't rather die in their bed at home surrounded by their spouse, children and loved ones rather than in a hospital alone.


Yeah, I get morbid with these types of threads


.
[Edited 8/9/09 18:25pm]

I really do want kids.
Like, really


i cant wait!

DanceWme said:

Give me a call. We can start this process by fucking the hell out of each other.

ThreadBare said:

I want to know what IS it that makes folks desire a child of their own.

is it because they want someone to love that will love them back unconditionally? (cause, you know kids only love you back if you give them a nintendo DS )

is it because you think you can raise a good human? (the only SOUND reason)

to fulfill a need in you? Your missing link to happiness?

to leave a lasting legacy of yourself? your ongoing bloodline?

to right all the wrongs in your own life? to make your kid get that doctorate you never had the chance to have?

to have someone to look after you in your old age? so you will never be lonely again?

First, I love kids, especially when they belong to someone else.

Second, I saw an episiotomy in a sex ed film in high school and that closed the door halfway.

Third, I was a good friend's birthing coach and had to lift her leg for each push so I had a front row seat to her coochie and to the doctor whipping out a scalpel and doing a 2nd degree episiotomy on said coochie. Never seen so much blood in my life and I ain't the queazy type. Needless to say the door closed the rest of the way, I padlocked it, booby trapped it, and set landmines all around that bitch.

Fourth, being a single parent is hard as hell so I would never actually HAVE a child by myself. I always planned to adopt regardless of if I had gotten murrrried and had my own. Then the plan was to adopt anyway. But the older I get, the more I just don't wanna be bothered. Besides, if I had a kid I wouldn't be able to afford my Maserati and I'd have to get a minivan or some shit.

Imago said:

Dan, u must not know how serious I am.
I absolutely would not mind ur chopstick invading my vag.


sorry threadbare..
dan and i will continue this via orgnote

Imago said:

But, I get that, too. I really do. And, I think about marrying someone with late-teen kids or someone who doesn't want to have kids at all and I'm cool with it now, but realize I might feel shortchanged decades from now, as if I'd missed out on something. I'm just not sure about the post-40 energy or patience levels, if that's when it's to start for me.

DanceWme said:

OH HELL YES.



HELL. YES.

DanceWme said:

Once again, a threadbare special brings together two (other) Orgers...



wait.