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PrintableImago said: Yeah yeah... I know, I have photos of myself everywhere. But they're photos I get to pick and chose at my own discretion to post.
And yeah yeah, some of you may just agree   but to each their own.
But let me explain: I don't think I'm ugly ALL THE TIME. Sometimes, I know I'm darned cute. I'm also quite confident SOMETIMES. But this entire week, I can't bare to make eye contact with myself in the mirror. I can't bare to see photographs of me. I hate my hair. I hate everything. I think it's hormonal cause I'm also getting angry for no reason too. Sometimes, I'm angry all day long then the next day I'm on top of the fucking world.
But I've always hated when people think that they're ugly. Some people complain about being too fat or having bad skin or whatever...and I've always thought there's a look for everyone...there's a way to improve upon what assets you DO have and make that work for you. And in my case, I know it's true...at least intellectually. But this week, lawd. I just feel.... ugly. Oh wait. I feel stupid too. I mean, dumb.
But I digress, do you ever wake up and feel ugly? I mean, like do you have days where you just wake up and think, "lawd hammercy, you are JANKITY today, Christopher B?" Before anyone starts with the "no you're not. You're just fine rhetoric", I know I'm not ugly persay and that I'll snap out of it in a few days or weeks--but knowing and feeling are different. But, I'm fascinated by people who are just resigned to thinking that they are ugly. So, those of you who feel ugly, lemme hear ya. NOTE: Orgers, if you read something by somebody who isn't ugly, try to focus on what they say rather than just disagreeing with them. If you feel that they are indeed ugly as homespun sin, try to focus on something positive like their teeth or hair in your remarks. Thanks. . [Edited 8/9/09 22:17pm] you just need THE KANG that fixes everything  | |
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Imago said: Fauxie said: So is that a denial thing, feeling restricted or there being a stigma, since it can't be an actual difference physically between men of two continents surely! I'd hate to have to curb my affections and flirting with some friends simply because they're men. I was a blank canvas as a young lad but as it turns out I married a woman and I dig having sex with her while I've neither overwhelming disgust nor desire at the idea of having sex with a man, but if single and finding a connection and having a good time I wouldn't have any qualms about kissing and fooling around with a guy. I just could see that being a possibility. I'd hate to live having to deny my affections for people. About what Dan said, all of the young Thai guys I know, all aged early 20s to early 30s, have had experiences with ladyboys and they recount stories over a few beers in particular of getting blowjobs with pride and amusement rather than embarrassment. They just joke about it and don't see a problem with it. They all have girlfriends or are married and would identify as straight. The lack of homophobia is still bumped up against stringent gender roles from what I've noticed. There appears to be no fear or repulsion of ladyboys at all--I mean in what other country on earth could you go to a Starbucks or a MacDonalds and have Ladyboys/transvestites take your order and NOBODY bats an eyelash. But like you've mentioned before, families would rather not have a ladyboy or a gay man in their own household. It would be upsetting for most families. I've found this paradox very strange because there's no built in societal hatred of them, no real blatant discrimination of them, and they're free to be who they want to be.... even up in North Eastern Thailand in a small remote village I was in I saw a ladyboy--she's one of my niece's best friends in the village
I think America just hasn't let go of it's Puritan, Christian influences. Such ingrained machismo I would imagine is great for protecting the flock, but just seems like it would limit the amount of ass you could get. . [Edited 8/10/09 1:19am] It is a strange paradox, you're right, but all in all I think the situation is good here, relative to elsewhere. Have you noticed in KSR how many of the guys are not ladyboys as such, and not transvestites as far as dress, but just grow their hair long, wear a little make-up, maybe have a hair clip or something feminine, but aren't intending to have an operation? Most of the waiters in Khao San Centre are like that and it's just no thing at all. 'Ingrained machismo'... that must make for a lot of deeply unhappy self-hating people. I'd hate myself if I had to change the way I feel and conform to some of the expectations, so what it's like for gay men and outwardly 'straight' guys on the DL I can only imagine! | |
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Imago said: evenstar3 said: most american men really, REALLY aren't like this and it bothers me immensely. GuRRRL, I was in the goddamned Air Force and I can tell you, young straight men can be just as confused in America---but aside from being 'shamed' about it, they're downright neurotic about it. Although I'd put the percentage at about 40% in America
What bothers me about American men is this need to prove their masculinity. Brothers sometimes won't even hug because it's 'gay'. Shit, even in 80's and 90's porn, the male actors were so goddamned ugly just to make straight men feel less 'gay' about the fact that the vagina in porn is just a extra in the movie--the cock is the real star.
America  Didn't you say you're not big on hugging? I made sure I got one though.  | |
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I've gained six pounds in the last ten days. Nothing fits. | |
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exenn said: I've gained six pounds in the last ten days. Nothing fits.
u just need a salad from THE KANG. | |
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That Tendercrisp salad is mighty good - not on my diet list (fried food), but mighty good. | |
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i always feel trapped in mediocrity. neither ugly nor particularly handsome. just...unremarkable. everyone's a fruit & nut case | |
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I just woke up not too long ago... I have a terrible cold and I feel like my eyes are drooping off my face, and I keep sneezing. 
Summer School is done, so it's a PJ day. 
UGLY! 
I think, tho, that we all go thru it once in a while. Sometimes I look in the mirror and think, "Yeah, U're still cute..." 
But the other day I looked in the mirror like,  "WTH?"
I need to get my hair recolored- it's 3 different colors at this point. 
I NEVER think I'm thin enough. I lost 40 lbs, and I always feel like they're hiding around the corner waiting to leap back on me.  "Love Hurts. Your lies, they cut me. Now your words don't mean a thing. I don't give a damn if you ever loved me..." -Cher, "Woman's World" | |
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exenn said: That Tendercrisp salad is mighty good - not on my diet list (fried food), but mighty good.
u needs alotta dat tender-grillll | |
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Fauxie said: Imago said: The lack of homophobia is still bumped up against stringent gender roles from what I've noticed. There appears to be no fear or repulsion of ladyboys at all--I mean in what other country on earth could you go to a Starbucks or a MacDonalds and have Ladyboys/transvestites take your order and NOBODY bats an eyelash. But like you've mentioned before, families would rather not have a ladyboy or a gay man in their own household. It would be upsetting for most families. I've found this paradox very strange because there's no built in societal hatred of them, no real blatant discrimination of them, and they're free to be who they want to be.... even up in North Eastern Thailand in a small remote village I was in I saw a ladyboy--she's one of my niece's best friends in the village
I think America just hasn't let go of it's Puritan, Christian influences. Such ingrained machismo I would imagine is great for protecting the flock, but just seems like it would limit the amount of ass you could get. . [Edited 8/10/09 1:19am] It is a strange paradox, you're right, but all in all I think the situation is good here, relative to elsewhere. Have you noticed in KSR how many of the guys are not ladyboys as such, and not transvestites as far as dress, but just grow their hair long, wear a little make-up, maybe have a hair clip or something feminine, but aren't intending to have an operation? Most of the waiters in Khao San Centre are like that and it's just no thing at all. 'Ingrained machismo'... that must make for a lot of deeply unhappy self-hating people. I'd hate myself if I had to change the way I feel and conform to some of the expectations, so what it's like for gay men and outwardly 'straight' guys on the DL I can only imagine! some homosexual accidents goin on | |
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I used to feel bad about how I looked and didn't like myself at all, however I've grown a whole lot in the past two years my face is on YouTube. I have a lot of confidence now, and think I look sexy. I'm definitely cool with me.
Also, instead of focusing on the things you don't like focus on the things you do. Instead of seeing the imperfection when you look in the mirror think about all your qualities inside and out. Focus on the compliments you ahve recieved about you from people that mean it. [Edited 8/10/09 5:58am] | |
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Christopher said: exenn said: I've gained six pounds in the last ten days. Nothing fits.
u just need a salad from THE KANG. steak fried lettuce with chicken tenders as topping.... ...with diet ranch dressing "We may deify or demonize them but not ignore them. And we call them genius, because they are the people who change the world." |
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Imago said:
Yeah yeah... I know, I have photos of myself everywhere. But they're photos I get to pick and chose at my own discretion to post. But this entire week, I can't bare to make eye contact with myself in the mirror. I can't bare to see photographs of me. I hate my hair. I hate everything.[/
I HATE having my picture taken, especially with flash.. I LOOK LIKE SHIT. 
FLASH In the past I've had this neurotic feeling of seeing all the pics taken of me and sometimes secretly deleting them from my friend's camera...  But this has luckily diminished as I've gotten older. I still would like to be in control of every photoshoot situation I'm in and always take multiple photos, so there's stuff to choose from..
In conclusion: I don't photograph well at all and it sucks..  And at the same time, so fucking what..  I mean, I let a friend of mine post a pic of me in her FB which was taken from the WORST ANGLE EVER: a pic of my hugeass, plumpy, ugly, white thighs taken between my toes...  Idk. 
I don't think I'm ugly ALL THE TIME. Sometimes, I know I'm darned cute. I'm also quite confident SOMETIMES.
I think I look cute sometimes too, but never feel confident.  It has something to do with my teenage years and being ridiculed... Oh, those years of horrible insecurity... Aaarghh.. Everything was so embarrasing.
I think it's hormonal cause I'm also getting angry for no reason too. Sometimes, I'm angry all day long then the next day I'm on top of the fucking world.
I hate my hormones! They're making me all pimply and shit. I've complained about it but other ppl don't even notice, which is true. But I do judge and observe myself more harshly than others do..
But I've always hated when people think that they're ugly. Some people complain about being too fat or having bad skin or whatever...and I've always thought there's a look for everyone...there's a way to improve upon what assets you DO have and make that work for you. And in my case, I know it's true...at least intellectually.
This is so true. But eventhough I sometimes complain about being ugly, fat or shit, I do hate it when ppl I know do it too, when they have no reason to complain about their look... Some of my friends are so annoying when it comes to make up... You should look all natural and "sauna fresh"... If I want to wear it and spend my time doing it, I will do it. I don't do it for other guys or girls, I do it because it makes me feel prettier, more relaxed and I like it. No I love it. Improving my assets.
There's this awful proverb in Finland that "fancy clothes are for the ugly/shallow", which says SO much about finnish characteristics: jealousy and plain boring/safe.. I also have this habbit of denying all compliments given to me and just replying "no I'm not" or "you're crazy", which I've realised is quite rude.
Allow me to introduce: Ms. Onder and Mrs. Donk! (o)(o)
They now belong to BigBearHermy.  | |
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I grew up knowing I was ugly. There are old school papers I’ve found where I’ve said as such. Freckles and red hair and chubby and so on.
And I almost always hate pictures of myself. There are very, very few I like. So I stopped allowing them to be taken! It’s very liberating to know I won’t have to see nasty pics of myself showing up on facebook or wherever. Seeing a bad pic of me seriously ruins my day. And I don’t want any more ruined days. I have one friend who sneaks them in when I’m not paying attention and they’re usually OK. But he’s the only one who gets a pass.
I don’t think of myself as “ugly” anymore, and heck, some days I'll even agree I can be kinda cute. But I know I’m not conventionally attractive. And I’ve discovered it doesn’t matter what I do (lose weight, gain weight, change my hair, change my style), that’s never gonna change.
But - I just don’t care as much as I used to. There’s more to me than what I look like and there’s more to life than being considered attractive. It sounds very after school special, but the older I get, the more I realize that’s true. |
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I totally know this feeling.
I think most of us do.  | |
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CarrieMpls said: I grew up knowing I was ugly. There are old school papers I’ve found where I’ve said as such. Freckles and red hair and chubby and so on.
And I almost always hate pictures of myself. There are very, very few I like. So I stopped allowing them to be taken! It’s very liberating to know I won’t have to see nasty pics of myself showing up on facebook or wherever. Seeing a bad pic of me seriously ruins my day. And I don’t want any more ruined days. I have one friend who sneaks them in when I’m not paying attention and they’re usually OK. But he’s the only one who gets a pass.
I don’t think of myself as “ugly” anymore, and heck, some days I'll even agree I can be kinda cute. But I know I’m not conventionally attractive. And I’ve discovered it doesn’t matter what I do (lose weight, gain weight, change my hair, change my style), that’s never gonna change.
But - I just don’t care as much as I used to. There’s more to me than what I look like and there’s more to life than being considered attractive. It sounds very after school special, but the older I get, the more I realize that’s true. Co-sign | |
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Welcome to my world. MyeternalgrattitudetoPhil&Val.Herman said "We want sweaty truckers at the truck stop! We want cigar puffing men that look like they wanna beat the living daylights out of us" Val"sporking is spooning with benefits" | |
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Just took a walk outside today in the blazing hot sun, which made me all hot and sweaty. My face is red, I'm all sweaty and I look like hell. So I definitely feel ugly right now, but a nice, cold shower will cure that. RIP, mom. I will forever miss and love you. | |
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i'm glad for this thread. people seem to articulate so well what i'm feeling, at the same time i'm feeling it!...
i felt ugly enough, i thought i wanted to die! ..or kill someone. is that depression? one of my relatives acted a cunt, this weekend and LIED! ..i wished her dead 'til now...
but yeah, imma mean ugly dog at times. ..i see transformersTHE B EST BE YOURSELF AS LONG AS YOUR SELF ISNT A DYCK[/r]
**....Someti | |
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EmeraldSkies said: I feel ugly every damn day,and avoid my reflection like the plague.
thats not nice. THE B EST BE YOURSELF AS LONG AS YOUR SELF ISNT A DYCK[/r]
**....Someti | |
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Fauxie said: net burped
[Edited 8/10/09 1:55am] Deep shit. | |
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Christopher said: exenn said: I've gained six pounds in the last ten days. Nothing fits.
u just need a salad from THE KANG. ! | |
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Mushanga said: Imago said:
Yeah yeah... I know, I have photos of myself everywhere. But they're photos I get to pick and chose at my own discretion to post. But this entire week, I can't bare to make eye contact with myself in the mirror. I can't bare to see photographs of me. I hate my hair. I hate everything.[/
I HATE having my picture taken, especially with flash.. I LOOK LIKE SHIT.
FLASH In the past I've had this neurotic feeling of seeing all the pics taken of me and sometimes secretly deleting them from my friend's camera... But this has luckily diminished as I've gotten older. I still would like to be in control of every photoshoot situation I'm in and always take multiple photos, so there's stuff to choose from..
In conclusion: I don't photograph well at all and it sucks.. And at the same time, so fucking what.. I mean, I let a friend of mine post a pic of me in her FB which was taken from the WORST ANGLE EVER: a pic of my hugeass, plumpy, ugly, white thighs taken between my toes... Idk.
I hate my hormones! They're making me all pimply and shit. I've complained about it but other ppl don't even notice, which is true. But I do judge and observe myself more harshly than others do..
But I've always hated when people think that they're ugly. Some people complain about being too fat or having bad skin or whatever...and I've always thought there's a look for everyone...there's a way to improve upon what assets you DO have and make that work for you. And in my case, I know it's true...at least intellectually.
This is so true. But eventhough I sometimes complain about being ugly, fat or shit, I do hate it when ppl I know do it too, when they have no reason to complain about their look... Some of my friends are so annoying when it comes to make up... You should look all natural and "sauna fresh"... If I want to wear it and spend my time doing it, I will do it. I don't do it for other guys or girls, I do it because it makes me feel prettier, more relaxed and I like it. No I love it. Improving my assets.
There's this awful proverb in Finland that "fancy clothes are for the ugly/shallow", which says SO much about finnish characteristics: jealousy and plain boring/safe.. I also have this habbit of denying all compliments given to me and just replying "no I'm not" or "you're crazy", which I've realised is quite rude.
See, and what's funny is that many a time I've been all  over how gorgeous you look in all your facebook photos and wishing I could be like that.  | |
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evenstar3 said: Mushanga said: Imago said:
This is so true. But eventhough I sometimes complain about being ugly, fat or shit, I do hate it when ppl I know do it too, when they have no reason to complain about their look... Some of my friends are so annoying when it comes to make up... You should look all natural and "sauna fresh"... If I want to wear it and spend my time doing it, I will do it. I don't do it for other guys or girls, I do it because it makes me feel prettier, more relaxed and I like it. No I love it. Improving my assets.
There's this awful proverb in Finland that "fancy clothes are for the ugly/shallow", which says SO much about finnish characteristics: jealousy and plain boring/safe.. I also have this habbit of denying all compliments given to me and just replying "no I'm not" or "you're crazy", which I've realised is quite rude.
See, and what's funny is that many a time I've been all over how gorgeous you look in all your facebook photos and wishing I could be like that.
If you and Mushanga are worried about your looks, the rest of us are fucked. | |
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CarrieMpls said: I grew up knowing I was ugly. There are old school papers I’ve found where I’ve said as such. Freckles and red hair and chubby and so on.
And I almost always hate pictures of myself. There are very, very few I like. So I stopped allowing them to be taken! It’s very liberating to know I won’t have to see nasty pics of myself showing up on facebook or wherever. Seeing a bad pic of me seriously ruins my day. And I don’t want any more ruined days. I have one friend who sneaks them in when I’m not paying attention and they’re usually OK. But he’s the only one who gets a pass.
I don’t think of myself as “ugly” anymore, and heck, some days I'll even agree I can be kinda cute. But I know I’m not conventionally attractive. And I’ve discovered it doesn’t matter what I do (lose weight, gain weight, change my hair, change my style), that’s never gonna change.
But - I just don’t care as much as I used to. There’s more to me than what I look like and there’s more to life than being considered attractive. It sounds very after school special, but the older I get, the more I realize that’s true. I remember you saying something once about seeing old picture of yourself and thinking of how cute you were, but also remembering that at the time you thought you were hideous or something like that. It struck a cord with me. I cam on across this picture (yes folks, I'm doting on myself--it's healthy for me right now ok?), and I'd seriously do me there. But at the time this was taken I was very unhappy about my looks.  | |
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Christopher said: Fauxie said: It is a strange paradox, you're right, but all in all I think the situation is good here, relative to elsewhere. Have you noticed in KSR how many of the guys are not ladyboys as such, and not transvestites as far as dress, but just grow their hair long, wear a little make-up, maybe have a hair clip or something feminine, but aren't intending to have an operation? Most of the waiters in Khao San Centre are like that and it's just no thing at all. 'Ingrained machismo'... that must make for a lot of deeply unhappy self-hating people. I'd hate myself if I had to change the way I feel and conform to some of the expectations, so what it's like for gay men and outwardly 'straight' guys on the DL I can only imagine! some homosexual accidents goin on | |
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Alej said: Fauxie said: net burped
[Edited 8/10/09 1:55am] Deep shit. Deep, repeated by org burp shit. | |
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Imago said: CarrieMpls said: I grew up knowing I was ugly. There are old school papers I’ve found where I’ve said as such. Freckles and red hair and chubby and so on.
And I almost always hate pictures of myself. There are very, very few I like. So I stopped allowing them to be taken! It’s very liberating to know I won’t have to see nasty pics of myself showing up on facebook or wherever. Seeing a bad pic of me seriously ruins my day. And I don’t want any more ruined days. I have one friend who sneaks them in when I’m not paying attention and they’re usually OK. But he’s the only one who gets a pass.
I don’t think of myself as “ugly” anymore, and heck, some days I'll even agree I can be kinda cute. But I know I’m not conventionally attractive. And I’ve discovered it doesn’t matter what I do (lose weight, gain weight, change my hair, change my style), that’s never gonna change.
But - I just don’t care as much as I used to. There’s more to me than what I look like and there’s more to life than being considered attractive. It sounds very after school special, but the older I get, the more I realize that’s true. I remember you saying something once about seeing old picture of yourself and thinking of how cute you were, but also remembering that at the time you thought you were hideous or something like that. It struck a cord with me. I cam on across this picture (yes folks, I'm doting on myself--it's healthy for me right now ok?), and I'd seriously do me there. But at the time this was taken I was very unhappy about my looks. Soooo cute!  | |
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Imago said: evenstar3 said: See, and what's funny is that many a time I've been all over how gorgeous you look in all your facebook photos and wishing I could be like that.
If you and Mushanga are worried about your looks, the rest of us are fucked. Right?? oh my gawd. |
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