Fauxie said:

Swear to gawd, when I was up in Bahn Panam (North East), my grandma's house actually had satalite T.V. so I could catch all the Bangkok stations.

I sat down one day and for well over an hour (a long time for me to watch T.V.), I witnessed hair travesties mixed with snippets of obsessed MJ fans (Thai MJ impersonators in many cases). On the bright side, I guess having to take cold showers up there worked out great. Serendipity

this thread is like my head today put into words

i literally don't wanna look at myself. Feel like the most revolting, disgusting thing ever. it's probably just life drama combined with hormones like you said, dan, but for fuck's sake, i wish my brain would switch back to making happy chemicals already

evenstar3 said:

Laurel, I swear if I was a girl and I looked like you, I'd be the biggest slut ever.


That or I'd already be married and cheating on my CEO husband.


You just don't understand your full potential - that's all

evenstar3 said:

Laurel, I swear if I was a girl and I looked like you, I'd be the biggest slut ever.


That or I'd already be married and cheating on my CEO husband.


You just don't understand your full potential - that's all

Imago said:

I have to agree with Dan here. Though I hate to do it, when it comes to Laurel being HOT, I must agree.
Hotter in person than in photos even.
Imagine that Dan.

MrsMdiver said:

It's been a long time since I've been with a woman. Don't get me hot and bothered.


ok, maybe about 3 weeks, but that's a long time in Thai years.

evenstar3 said:

Laurel, I swear if I was a girl and I looked like you, I'd be the biggest slut ever.


That or I'd already be married and cheating on my CEO husband.


You just don't understand your full potential - that's all

Imago said:

I know, right??

If I looked like that I'd totally slut it up and go after those angular-cheeked, dark-haired, handsome but also characterful faced 'Mr. Rochester' type British or British-looking guys, and not the gay ones! If there were any.

this thread is like my head today put into words

i literally don't wanna look at myself. Feel like the most revolting, disgusting thing ever. it's probably just life drama combined with hormones like you said, dan, but for fuck's sake, i wish my brain would switch back to making happy chemicals already

evenstar3 said:

You're ridiculously beautiful, Laurel.

It's blunt but I would totally give Mon an infidelity pass and you a plane ticket.

Smoke some marijuana and drink catuaba bark tea sweetened with honey and you'll feel happy in no time.

evenstar3 said:

You're ridiculously beautiful, Laurel.

It's blunt but I would totally give Mon an infidelity pass and you a plane ticket.

Smoke some marijuana and drink catuaba bark tea sweetened with honey and you'll feel happy in no time.

Fauxie said:

Swear to gawd, I still think 90% of British men are like 90% of Thai men. They'd mess around with another man just out of convenience (afterall, aren't men ALWAYS willing to have sex), only with British men there's a certain amount of guilt around it.
With Thai men, they're just afraid of showing their genitals unless it's dark.

But back to this entire 'Laurel needs to be a slut' conversation.

He's a hot piece of snatch. She's wasting her best years on exclusivity of the vag. shame.


(I'm waiting on someone from the 'multiple sexual partners' thread from last year to chime in on my posts )

Imago said:

So true.

I know personally speaking that even with no interest sexually in men and no justifiable way of claiming anything like bisexuality that given the right circumstances I could still fool around with a guy.

Alej said:

I'm a perfectionist too, so when I fattened up, it irked me senseless and affected my self-esteem. I'm on the downswing again and pretty serious about this time, but I remember still feeling inadequate when I was thin an in good shape. When it's not my weight, it's my ears or my nose or whataver.

I'm a perfectionist in that regard too.

But yeah... I know exactly what you mean. I grew up with the same verbal insults I think. The only advise I have to say is try and resolve those while you're still young. Don't end up being a man in your 30s like me having to sort through them.... it sucks.

To respond the thread though, I feel ok most of the time, if my skin's alright. I'm fine with my looks in as far as what's static and not changing except for aging. I don't like things that can change, like hair growing, changes in my skin etc.

I care less than I once did about how I look, probably out of resignation. My receding hairline has never been an issue, funnily enough. Regular head hair can be cut and just left to grow where it is and then cut again. I'm more bugged out by facial hair. I *HATE* having to shave because I get obsessed with neatness and any stray hair annoys the crap out of me. This leads me to go over and over with the razor and make my skin red, which then gives me terrible self-image issues so that I won't leave the house. I already KNOW that nobody would notice anything negative about how I look if I did a quick, careless shave as opposed to a precise one. Except that they would notice the latter because it actually leaves me looking worse because my skin is red. I KNOW this, yet still I shave the way I do.

this thread is like my head today put into words

i literally don't wanna look at myself. Feel like the most revolting, disgusting thing ever. it's probably just life drama combined with hormones like you said, dan, but for fuck's sake, i wish my brain would switch back to making happy chemicals already

Imago said:

hi val

Fauxie said:

most american men really, REALLY aren't like this and it bothers me immensely.

evenstar3 said:

GuRRRL, I was in the goddamned Air Force and I can tell you, young straight men can be just as confused in America---but aside from being 'shamed' about it, they're downright neurotic about it. Although I'd put the percentage at about 40% in America


What bothers me about American men is this need to prove their masculinity. Brothers sometimes won't even hug because it's 'gay'.

Shit, even in 80's and 90's porn, the male actors were so goddamned ugly just to make straight men feel less 'gay' about the fact that the vagina in porn is just a extra in the movie--the cock is the real star.

America

Yeah yeah... I know, I have photos of myself everywhere. But they're photos I get to pick and chose at my own discretion to post.

And yeah yeah, some of you may just agree but to each their own.


But let me explain:



I don't think I'm ugly ALL THE TIME. Sometimes, I know I'm darned cute. I'm also quite confident SOMETIMES.


But this entire week, I can't bare to make eye contact with myself in the mirror. I can't bare to see photographs of me. I hate my hair. I hate everything.
I think it's hormonal cause I'm also getting angry for no reason too. Sometimes, I'm angry all day long then the next day I'm on top of the fucking world.

But I've always hated when people think that they're ugly. Some people complain about being too fat or having bad skin or whatever...and I've always thought there's a look for everyone...there's a way to improve upon what assets you DO have and make that work for you. And in my case, I know it's true...at least intellectually.

But this week, lawd. I just feel.... ugly.

Oh wait. I feel stupid too. I mean, dumb.
But I digress, do you ever wake up and feel ugly? I mean, like do you have days where you just wake up and think, "lawd hammercy, you are JANKITY today, Christopher B?"

Before anyone starts with the "no you're not. You're just fine rhetoric", I know I'm not ugly persay and that I'll snap out of it in a few days or weeks--but knowing and feeling are different. But, I'm fascinated by people who are just resigned to thinking that they are ugly.


So, those of you who feel ugly, lemme hear ya.

NOTE: Orgers, if you read something by somebody who isn't ugly, try to focus on what they say rather than just disagreeing with them. If you feel that they are indeed ugly as homespun sin, try to focus on something positive like their teeth or hair in your remarks. Thanks.

.
[Edited 8/9/09 22:17pm]

Imago said:

There are some days I feel the same way you do. Someone once told me that their mom always said people have their "moments" when they look good/bad. Don't worry about the way u are feeling. You are just having one of the moments. I get them too.... some days more than others.

I didn't just feel ugly today, I was ugly today I looked like a straight BUM, no wonder the bartender looked @ me sideways when I went to pickup some takeout from a restaurant Tomorrow will be better - I will wear lipstick

evenstar3 said:

So is that a denial thing, feeling restricted or there being a stigma, since it can't be an actual difference physically between men of two continents surely!

I'd hate to have to curb my affections and flirting with some friends simply because they're men. I was a blank canvas as a young lad but as it turns out I married a woman and I dig having sex with her while I've neither overwhelming disgust nor desire at the idea of having sex with a man, but if single and finding a connection and having a good time I wouldn't have any qualms about kissing and fooling around with a guy. I just could see that being a possibility. I'd hate to live having to deny my affections for people.

About what Dan said, all of the young Thai guys I know, all aged early 20s to early 30s, have had experiences with ladyboys and they recount stories over a few beers in particular of getting blowjobs with pride and amusement rather than embarrassment. They just joke about it and don't see a problem with it. They all have girlfriends or are married and would identify as straight.

Fauxie said:

most american men really, REALLY aren't like this and it bothers me immensely.

I didn't just feel ugly today, I was ugly today I looked like a straight BUM, no wonder the bartender looked @ me sideways when I went to pickup some takeout from a restaurant Tomorrow will be better - I will wear lipstick

CalhounSq said: