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PrintableSCNDLS said: First, I love kids, especially when they belong to someone else.
Second, I saw an episiotomy in a sex ed film in high school and that closed the door halfway. 
Third, I was a good friend's birthing coach and had to lift her leg for each push so I had a front row seat to her coochie and to the doctor whipping out a scalpel and doing a 2nd degree episiotomy on said coochie. Never seen so much blood in my life and I ain't the queazy type.  Needless to say the door closed the rest of the way, I padlocked it, booby trapped it, and set landmines all around that bitch. 
Fourth, being a single parent is hard as hell so I would never actually HAVE a child by myself. I always planned to adopt regardless of if I had gotten murrrried and had my own. Then the plan was to adopt anyway. But the older I get, the more I just don't wanna be bothered. Besides, if I had a kid I wouldn't be able to afford my Maserati and I'd have to get a minivan or some shit.   I'm glad I never had to see that stuff, actually having it HAPPEN to you is probably not as bad  I will say that the healing time and discomfort is way worse with an episiotomy than a tear. The former feels like a deep paper cut for 2 weeks, the latter more a dull ache that goes away after a week. That kind of time is insignificant in a long life of many decades. I have scarring, but it doesn't interfere with my life. | |
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SCNDLS said: First, I love kids, especially when they belong to someone else.
Second, I saw an episiotomy in a sex ed film in high school and that closed the door halfway.
Third, I was a good friend's birthing coach and had to lift her leg for each push so I had a front row seat to her coochie and to the doctor whipping out a scalpel and doing a 2nd degree episiotomy on said coochie. Never seen so much blood in my life and I ain't the queazy type. Needless to say the door closed the rest of the way, I padlocked it, booby trapped it, and set landmines all around that bitch.
Fourth, being a single parent is hard as hell so I would never actually HAVE a child by myself. I always planned to adopt regardless of if I had gotten murrrried and had my own. Then the plan was to adopt anyway. But the older I get, the more I just don't wanna be bothered. Besides, if I had a kid I wouldn't be able to afford my Maserati and I'd have to get a minivan or some shit. 1. Knew SCNDLS would make a significant contribution to my thread. 2. Didn't know said contribution would involve repeated references to episiotomies.  | |
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No. But that makes it hard to maintain a relationship around here since many women get the maternal pangs eventually  I have to turn to girls who are younger. In another few years I'll be R. Kelly (hopefully without the remix edition 'bout the song of my pissin'). I'm afraid of Americans. I'm afraid of the world. | |
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ThreadBare said: Imago said: YES AN NO.
... So, even though I'm nurtured a life that has afforded me ample room to play, I feel the ticking of time and think of the future ALL. THE. TIME. My lifespan is halfway over... I can't think of anybody who wouldn't rather die in their bed at home surrounded by their spouse, children and loved ones rather than in a hospital alone. Yeah, I get morbid with these types of threads  But, I get that, too. I really do. And, I think about marrying someone with late-teen kids or someone who doesn't want to have kids at all and I'm cool with it now, but realize I might feel shortchanged decades from now, as if I'd missed out on something. I'm just not sure about the post-40 energy or patience levels, if that's when it's to start for me. HUGH Heffner had kids in his 60/70s right? I think at any age, the process of bringing a life into the world and nurturing it is a process that heals us all inside. And if Hugh has taught us ANYTHING, it's that it's what's on "the inside" that matters. | |
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ThreadBare said: Imago said: YES AN NO.
... So, even though I'm nurtured a life that has afforded me ample room to play, I feel the ticking of time and think of the future ALL. THE. TIME. My lifespan is halfway over... I can't think of anybody who wouldn't rather die in their bed at home surrounded by their spouse, children and loved ones rather than in a hospital alone. Yeah, I get morbid with these types of threads But, I get that, too. I really do. And, I think about marrying someone with late-teen kids or someone who doesn't want to have kids at all and I'm cool with it now, but realize I might feel shortchanged decades from now, as if I'd missed out on something. I'm just not sure about the post-40 energy or patience levels, if that's when it's to start for me. I dated a guy a few years ago that had 3 kids. I never met them as we never really got that serious but a friend made the comment that they could TOTALLY see me falling into that kindof scenario. Joining a ready-made family. I think that's the only way it's gonna happen for me, if at all.
Of course, I flirt with the idea of fostering/adopting as well... But never very seriously either. |
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spacedolphin said: No. But that makes it hard to maintain a relationship around here since many women get the maternal pangs eventually
I have to turn to girls who are younger. In another few years I'll be R. Kelly (hopefully without the remix edition 'bout the song of my pissin').You're talking really crazy talk there, amigo. 
Though, I get how it could be a deal-breaker with a lot of "older" women.  | |
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CarrieMpls said: ThreadBare said: But, I get that, too. I really do. And, I think about marrying someone with late-teen kids or someone who doesn't want to have kids at all and I'm cool with it now, but realize I might feel shortchanged decades from now, as if I'd missed out on something. I'm just not sure about the post-40 energy or patience levels, if that's when it's to start for me. I dated a guy a few years ago that had 3 kids. I never met them as we never really got that serious but a friend made the comment that they could TOTALLY see me falling into that kindof scenario. Joining a ready-made family. I think that's the only way it's gonna happen for me, if at all.
Of course, I flirt with the idea of fostering/adopting as well... But never very seriously either. Madonna adopted kids and she's 50! I think it doesn't really matter what age you are so long as you can take care of your business. Madonna appears to have grown as a person. And if Madonna is about ANYTHING, it's about making your person grow. | |
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ThreadBare said: spacedolphin said: No. But that makes it hard to maintain a relationship around here since many women get the maternal pangs eventually
I have to turn to girls who are younger. In another few years I'll be R. Kelly (hopefully without the remix edition 'bout the song of my pissin').You're talking really crazy talk there, amigo.
Though, I get how it could be a deal-breaker with a lot of "older" women. there are women out there who don't want kids too, maybe they are hard to find! | |
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CarrieMpls said: ThreadBare said: But, I get that, too. I really do. And, I think about marrying someone with late-teen kids or someone who doesn't want to have kids at all and I'm cool with it now, but realize I might feel shortchanged decades from now, as if I'd missed out on something. I'm just not sure about the post-40 energy or patience levels, if that's when it's to start for me. I dated a guy a few years ago that had 3 kids. I never met them as we never really got that serious but a friend made the comment that they could TOTALLY see me falling into that kindof scenario. Joining a ready-made family. I think that's the only way it's gonna happen for me, if at all.
Of course, I flirt with the idea of fostering/adopting as well... But never very seriously either. Yeah, but I've dated two single moms in the past year. In both situations, I was amazed at the juxtaposition of the women's relatively cool personalities and their children's horrible behavior... | |
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spacedolphin said: No. But that makes it hard to maintain a relationship around here since many women get the maternal pangs eventually
I have to turn to girls who are younger. In another few years I'll be R. Kelly (hopefully without the remix edition 'bout the song of my pissin').Dude, I got caught in that trap at points in my life. I kept aging but the girls I was hookup up with weren't. It gets you nowhere | |
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ThreadBare said: CarrieMpls said: I dated a guy a few years ago that had 3 kids. I never met them as we never really got that serious but a friend made the comment that they could TOTALLY see me falling into that kindof scenario. Joining a ready-made family. I think that's the only way it's gonna happen for me, if at all.
Of course, I flirt with the idea of fostering/adopting as well... But never very seriously either. Yeah, but I've dated two single moms in the past year. In both situations, I was amazed at the juxtaposition of the women's relatively cool personalities and their children's horrible behavior... how close did you get to them? I'll be willing to bet they don't want you to see them getting ugly and going all fishwife on you  | |
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Imago said: CarrieMpls said: I dated a guy a few years ago that had 3 kids. I never met them as we never really got that serious but a friend made the comment that they could TOTALLY see me falling into that kindof scenario. Joining a ready-made family. I think that's the only way it's gonna happen for me, if at all.
Of course, I flirt with the idea of fostering/adopting as well... But never very seriously either. Madonna adopted kids and she's 50! I think it doesn't really matter what age you are so long as you can take care of your business. Madonna appears to have grown as a person. And if Madonna is about ANYTHING, it's about making your person grow. Hef. Madge. you're on a roll. stop. | |
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ZombieKitten said: SCNDLS said: First, I love kids, especially when they belong to someone else.
Second, I saw an episiotomy in a sex ed film in high school and that closed the door halfway.
Third, I was a good friend's birthing coach and had to lift her leg for each push so I had a front row seat to her coochie and to the doctor whipping out a scalpel and doing a 2nd degree episiotomy on said coochie. Never seen so much blood in my life and I ain't the queazy type. Needless to say the door closed the rest of the way, I padlocked it, booby trapped it, and set landmines all around that bitch.
Fourth, being a single parent is hard as hell so I would never actually HAVE a child by myself. I always planned to adopt regardless of if I had gotten murrrried and had my own. Then the plan was to adopt anyway. But the older I get, the more I just don't wanna be bothered. Besides, if I had a kid I wouldn't be able to afford my Maserati and I'd have to get a minivan or some shit. I'm glad I never had to see that stuff, actually having it HAPPEN to you is probably not as bad I will say that the healing time and discomfort is way worse with an episiotomy than a tear. The former feels like a deep paper cut for 2 weeks, the latter more a dull ache that goes away after a week. That kind of time is insignificant in a long life of many decades. I have scarring, but it doesn't interfere with my life.That's the thing with childbirth, there are SOOOOO many varied experiences and you just don't know how it's gonna turn out. Most of my friends who've torn AND been cut said the episiotomy healed much better and faster. A goood friend who is a nurse tore and it took her a whole YEAR to heal.
And you're right watching it was way worse because I'm watching the doctor pinch her coochie with her NAILS to make sure it's deadened yet I had to keep smiling and not show my distress to my friend. Then when the blood came I had to ignore it. I got skillz.  | |
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ThreadBare said: SCNDLS said: First, I love kids, especially when they belong to someone else.
Second, I saw an episiotomy in a sex ed film in high school and that closed the door halfway.
Third, I was a good friend's birthing coach and had to lift her leg for each push so I had a front row seat to her coochie and to the doctor whipping out a scalpel and doing a 2nd degree episiotomy on said coochie. Never seen so much blood in my life and I ain't the queazy type. Needless to say the door closed the rest of the way, I padlocked it, booby trapped it, and set landmines all around that bitch.
Fourth, being a single parent is hard as hell so I would never actually HAVE a child by myself. I always planned to adopt regardless of if I had gotten murrrried and had my own. Then the plan was to adopt anyway. But the older I get, the more I just don't wanna be bothered. Besides, if I had a kid I wouldn't be able to afford my Maserati and I'd have to get a minivan or some shit. 1. Knew SCNDLS would make a significant contribution to my thread. 2. Didn't know said contribution would involve repeated references to episiotomies. You know how I do.  | |
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Imago said: spacedolphin said: No. But that makes it hard to maintain a relationship around here since many women get the maternal pangs eventually
I have to turn to girls who are younger. In another few years I'll be R. Kelly (hopefully without the remix edition 'bout the song of my pissin').Dude, I got caught in that trap at points in my life. I kept aging but the girls I was hookup up with weren't. It gets you nowhere How do you even connect (pardon the pun) with them? Part of my trouble is I tend to communicate and connect better with women who are at least my age... | |
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SCNDLS said: ZombieKitten said: I'm glad I never had to see that stuff, actually having it HAPPEN to you is probably not as bad I will say that the healing time and discomfort is way worse with an episiotomy than a tear. The former feels like a deep paper cut for 2 weeks, the latter more a dull ache that goes away after a week. That kind of time is insignificant in a long life of many decades. I have scarring, but it doesn't interfere with my life.That's the thing with childbirth, there are SOOOOO many varied experiences and you just don't know how it's gonna turn out. Most of my friends who've torn AND been cut said the episiotomy healed much better and faster. A goood friend who is a nurse tore and it took her a whole YEAR to heal.
And you're right watching it was way worse because I'm watching the doctor pinch her coochie with her NAILS to make sure it's deadened yet I had to keep smiling and not show my distress to my friend. Then when the blood came I had to ignore it. I got skillz.  | |
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ZombieKitten said: ThreadBare said: Yeah, but I've dated two single moms in the past year. In both situations, I was amazed at the juxtaposition of the women's relatively cool personalities and their children's horrible behavior... how close did you get to them? I'll be willing to bet they don't want you to see them getting ugly and going all fishwife on you | |
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ThreadBare said: Imago said: YES AN NO.
... So, even though I'm nurtured a life that has afforded me ample room to play, I feel the ticking of time and think of the future ALL. THE. TIME. My lifespan is halfway over... I can't think of anybody who wouldn't rather die in their bed at home surrounded by their spouse, children and loved ones rather than in a hospital alone. Yeah, I get morbid with these types of threads But, I get that, too. I really do. And, I think about marrying someone with late-teen kids or someone who doesn't want to have kids at all and I'm cool with it now, but realize I might feel shortchanged decades from now, as if I'd missed out on something. I'm just not sure about the post-40 energy or patience levels, if that's when it's to start for me. You have to find the right woman first I think after that things will fall into place My kids are 14,11, and 9 and my guy's daughter is 18 we all get along really well. He doesn't want anymore and I don't either. Its fine the way it is. True they eat a lot but there's no milk, diapers, babysitter and all that stuff involved  | |
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Imago said: CarrieMpls said: I dated a guy a few years ago that had 3 kids. I never met them as we never really got that serious but a friend made the comment that they could TOTALLY see me falling into that kindof scenario. Joining a ready-made family. I think that's the only way it's gonna happen for me, if at all.
Of course, I flirt with the idea of fostering/adopting as well... But never very seriously either. Madonna adopted kids and she's 50! I think it doesn't really matter what age you are so long as you can take care of your business. Madonna appears to have grown as a person. And if Madonna is about ANYTHING, it's about making your person grow. Madonna also has millions and a staff of people to take care of her kids FOR her. As a single parent, you MUST have a support structure in place plus money for daycare. Around here, daycare for a 3 month old is about $800-1000 per MONTH. That's a mortgage and that's JUST daycare. I don't know how single mothers do it. | |
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SCNDLS said: ZombieKitten said: I'm glad I never had to see that stuff, actually having it HAPPEN to you is probably not as bad I will say that the healing time and discomfort is way worse with an episiotomy than a tear. The former feels like a deep paper cut for 2 weeks, the latter more a dull ache that goes away after a week. That kind of time is insignificant in a long life of many decades. I have scarring, but it doesn't interfere with my life.That's the thing with childbirth, there are SOOOOO many varied experiences and you just don't know how it's gonna turn out. Most of my friends who've torn AND been cut said the episiotomy healed much better and faster. A goood friend who is a nurse tore and it took her a whole YEAR to heal.
And you're right watching it was way worse because I'm watching the doctor pinch her coochie with her NAILS to make sure it's deadened yet I had to keep smiling and not show my distress to my friend. Then when the blood came I had to ignore it. I got skillz. that's awful
I had a c-section with kid a, episiotomy and vacuum with kid b and tearing with no intervention with kid c. None were particularly pleasant, but I don't think I have been traumatised by it, now having watched it I might say different | |
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SCNDLS said: ThreadBare said: 1. Knew SCNDLS would make a significant contribution to my thread. 2. Didn't know said contribution would involve repeated references to episiotomies. You know how I do. I need you to "don't!" Orgnote her about that, please. I gotta read this, too, yanno... | |
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DanceWme said: SCNDLS said: That's the thing with childbirth, there are SOOOOO many varied experiences and you just don't know how it's gonna turn out. Most of my friends who've torn AND been cut said the episiotomy healed much better and faster. A goood friend who is a nurse tore and it took her a whole YEAR to heal.
And you're right watching it was way worse because I'm watching the doctor pinch her coochie with her NAILS to make sure it's deadened yet I had to keep smiling and not show my distress to my friend. Then when the blood came I had to ignore it. I got skillz. Shit is serious. | |
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SCNDLS said: DanceWme said: Shit is serious. why I went through that (child birth not rips ) more than once I can't tell ya | |
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SCNDLS said: Imago said: Madonna adopted kids and she's 50! I think it doesn't really matter what age you are so long as you can take care of your business. Madonna appears to have grown as a person. And if Madonna is about ANYTHING, it's about making your person grow. Madonna also has millions and a staff of people to take care of her kids FOR her. As a single parent, you MUST have a support structure in place plus money for daycare. Around here, daycare for a 3 month old is about $800-1000 per MONTH. That's a mortgage and that's JUST daycare. I don't know how single mothers do it. Exactly! If you have unlimited resources it's a bit different. |
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ThreadBare said: SCNDLS said: You know how I do. I need you to "don't!" Orgnote her about that, please. I gotta read this, too, yanno... Your question was "Do you want kids?" right??? Well, this is an integral part of why I don't want kids.
You talkin' 'bout reading it imagine somebody going at YOUR nether regions with a scalpel. Suck it up, man!  | |
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ThreadBare said: psychodelicide said: I'm single, and no, I don't want kids. I'm an aunt, and that's perfectly okay by me. I get to spoil the niece/nephews for a couple of hours, and then they go home. I'm not sure how good I would be being around kids 24/7, since I've never been in that situation.
Yeah, and think about how it would change your own living habits. I mean, I'm used to practicing at all hours of the night, going out and occasionally playing. I dunno. Changing this late in my life doesn't seem like such a great idea. I have musician buddies who make it work, though. Maybe I should talk with them.Having a child DEFINITELY changes your life, not doubt about that. RIP, mom. I will forever miss and love you. | |
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heybaby said: SCNDLS said: Shit is serious. why I went through that (child birth not rips ) more than once I can't tell ya see... like i always think about the day i have children. and what kind of mom i'd be and blah blah blah then the thought of pushing out a baby kills my happiness. | |
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heybaby said: SCNDLS said: Shit is serious. why I went through that (child birth not rips ) more than once I can't tell ya  I bow down to ya'll cuz if it was up to me the human race would have problems with eminent extinction cuz I ain't birthin' no babies. | |
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DanceWme said: heybaby said: why I went through that (child birth not rips ) more than once I can't tell ya see... like i always think about the day i have children. and what kind of mom i'd be and blah blah blah then the thought of pushing out a baby kills my happiness. The pushing is nothing to actually raising a life. I think you'd be a cool mommy. Your kids would have a lot of fun without thinking they can walk over you | |
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SCNDLS said: ThreadBare said: I need you to "don't!" Orgnote her about that, please. I gotta read this, too, yanno... Your question was "Do you want kids?" right??? Well, this is an integral part of why I don't want kids.
You talkin' 'bout reading it imagine somebody going at YOUR nether regions with a scalpel. Suck it up, man!  | |
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