onenitealone said:

yes!!

sometimes i just don't bother slipping my cell phone back into my pocket just to keep their eyes away

though that makes me sound even more suspicious

It used to bother me until I realized that only people who are "all that" get stared at. Somebody that ain't shit don't get the first glance.

I don't know that I've ever caught anyone staring.

I guess if I'm ever stared at I'm too in my own little world to notice.

onenitealone said:

It's not that I'm confident, I'm just fed up with them. I have been harassed by rednecks my entire life and it used to bother me a lot. Finally, I just decided to take a look at them and I said to myself...."Why am I worrying about what these people think of me. Just look at them, they are trash!".

Some of your posts

I was born a half Thai kid who was raised in a deeply conservative, southern, racist town in Alabama. In 4th grade, I was the only Asian boy in school (my sister, the only girl).

I've lived in multiple countries and in not one of them (even Thailand) do I actually look like the majority of it's residences. Yes, people stare. Yes, they're almost always taken aback by my voice and accent, and yes I sometimes can not walk into a room knowing there will be a slight ripple affect in the dynamics of the place.
But one thing that I've come to realize is that people only quickly react to your looks or your accent/voice. That very quickly dissipates and the majority of the time they're reacting to your posture/disposition. I can easily make the lady at the counter fearful of me or charm her socks off--it's all in how you carry yourself.
One thing that I do notice is that self-conscious people (and I tend to be one naturally) exhibit the exact same behavior they claim to loathe. They just do it through peripheral vision--how else do you 'know' you're being stared at by everyone in the room.
I sometimes play games with it. Some guy said to me a few weeks back, "I noticed you when you walked up to the bar, " and I replied, "I know."

I don't want to turn this into a white/minority thing, but try walking in my skin for a day--those realizations of being watched are amplified.

great thread.

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[Edited 8/9/09 9:21am]

Imago said:

I love it I get that especially when people meet me for the 1st time they do not know what to expect. Usually I get this strange stare like they are trying to figure me out and they become frustrated when they can't and I can sense that. It usually stops as soon as the ice breaks and and I open my mouth or smile or something.

PricelessHo said:

I think *maybe* we over-compensate a little, which could attract further attention, but - no matter how much I explain it to my mates, who don't experience this and think it's kinda bizarre - it's just something I am very aware of.


This is going to to sound like THE most weirdest thing I have ever posted on the Org , and I say this tongue in cheek almost, but I always liken it to a being an ex-reality tv contestant: no-one knows who you are exactly, or what you've done particularly, but you just get unexpected attention. Outta nowhere, for no apparent reason. On paper that sounds crazy; in reality, not so much.


If you're already self-conscious or naturally shy, it doesn't matter how much confidence you build up... it always seems strange. It's like the more you try to fight it, the more attention it creates. I just do my best to ignore it - although that can be exhausting in itself.

Anyway, I don't mean this with ANY arrogance (or delusion) - it's just kinda hard to explain if you don't experience it. Hence me keeping my mouth shut on this issue 99% of the time. Some people go about their day and nobody bothers them; some people go about their day and do everything possible to court attention; and other people attract attention, for whatever reason, without trying. I'm sure it happens to a lot of people.

.

I was buying a woman's shirt because sometimes I do that and this woman stopped what she was doing on the other end of the table and would look at my mother(who i was shopping with), me then back to my mother like "you're letting him do that?", my eyes turned into daggers and she dropped her shirts and went someplace else

you can look at me all you want but smile or someshit don't be crazy.

IAintTheOne said:

Yup.
My ex-girlfriend used to feel like she was being watched. And aside from being oggled by an occasional man (cause--hey, they're men ) it was mostly her projecting her own arrogance and self-consciousness. She could come up with an entire drama as to why some 'bitch' at the candy shop hated her guts, when the other woman probably wouldn't even be able to pick her out of a crowd 5 minutes later

But yeah, sometimes, when you approach someone, if you don't look like someone they're used to being around, it's almost solely up to you to orchestrate how that interaction is going to go, isn't it?

Constantly when I wear heels. Sometimes when I don't. I've mostly gotten over people and their total fucking lack of manners, it only really bothers me now when they make comments.

evenstar3 said:

GurRL, they're starin' atcha cause you're FOINE.

Makes me nervous!

If you hate people staring at you, quit giving them a reason.

If you hate people staring at you, quit giving them a reason.

PricelessHo said:

Or security guards in shops.

If you hate people staring at you, quit giving them a reason.

evenstar3 said:

GurRL, they're starin' atcha cause you're FOINE.

Genesia said:

yeah, let me just decide to stop being extremely tall. no problem.

evenstar3 said: