Whether you've heard it somewhere. You've said it yourself, or you just think it in your head.

"I know you are, but what am I?"

"I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person."

or something a bit more creative or meaner.

"Your chair woman of the iddy biddy titty comity."


It's stupid now, but it was sooooo effective in middle school.

Shut up, you amoral and unpleasant-by-your-own-free-will-and-not-due-to-any-systemic-dysfunction-organic-or-otherwise person.

Must have been middle school w/ that improper use of "your"

Horsefeathers said:

I'm thinking you say this one in your head.

Imago said:

I've noticed you use that one a lot.

I love this one that Emo Phillips once told.



He approached a woman at a bar and asked her to go back to his room for some nookie.


She said "I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth."

He replied, "Well, if I was the last man on earth, you wouldn't even be allowed in line."

Imago said:

Good one

"100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?"

Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is

It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a fork

"Hey! your thread is just like Imagos!"

SequentusBeta said:

LMAO

EmeraldSkies said:

And you are WHO? And you know WHAT? :withering look:

This line is legendary in my circle of friends - coined by my good friend Julie, dished out to some lecherous bloke who came sniffing and tried to sidle into our private conversation in a nightclub about 10 years ago. Still used on a regular basis, all these years later

stupid is as stupid does

asswipe in the making

help me to help you

we are not laughing with you

Love them!

"Whatever!"

'ya mama!'

I used tog et a good kick out of calling people "used tampons"...That was when I was little...I've updated the term to "cunt rag"

SequentusBeta said:

EmeraldSkies said:

[Edited 6/13/09 22:48pm]

thekidsgirl said:

* The village just called and reported that their idiot is missing.
* You're a wasted human being.
* I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
[Edited 6/13/09 22:52pm]

psychodelicide said:

I heard that one go like "Somewhere, a village is missing their idiot"

Cinnie said:

That one works as well.

its not that he has a small penis, it's that u have a big vagina (make big vagina sign with hands) lol

British comedies from the 80s provide the best, especially Blackadder (eg Prince Minibrain), but one of my favourites is from the first series of the Young ones 1982 Mike "I won't say you're predictable, but there are as yet undiscovered tribes in the Amazonian rainforest who knew what you were going to say next"

Fuck you.

I don't really insult people. The best one I can think of off the top of my head is:

"Yeah? Well, you're YOU!!!"

I bet that, when expertly delivered, would just ruin some ne'er-do-well's day.

PunkMistress said:

HaHaha I thought about that but wanted to post something different. simple and to the point.