i really need help,i dont no what to do,if someone u were very close to had a pill problem, would u tell his or her family?this has been going on for to long now,i cant sleep at night for fear the person wont be with me tommorow.i cant stop crying. i tried talking to this person,they no they have a problem,but i dont no when they will try to get off the pills.they said they are scared to.now with mj passing,this problem that this person has is becoming more real to me.i am fearful for this perssons life.i really need some help here.

this is a tough one.
the person that has the problem need to admit that they have one.THEY have to WANT to get help. You can tell the whole world of his/her problem but without their will, you have nothing. No one can force recovery.....

Sad but true, sorry Im not much help.

amorbella said:

Unfortunately that's very true.

Intervention!

My brother is a recovering alcoholic (sober 10 years) and the only thing that worked on him was tough love. We blocked him out of everything, he could not see our kids, we never invited him to family functions etc. Thankfully in his case he missed the family and he was able to over come, in order to be part of the family again.
Good luck

lladygold said:

When you are talking with this person, you have to remember you're talking to the drug, not the person. Their brain is toxic and altered. You are NEVER going to reason with them. They will lie, cheat, and steal to get their fix, and tell you it's a-ok. You cannot trust them at this point. You have to take bigger steps.

Contact the family, their friends, and whoever. Stage an intervention. Do whatever you have to do to save your friend. Even if they hate you for the rest of their life, if they're clean, that's something you can probably live with. Save your friend, by any means necessary. You (plural) have to give this person a bottom. They haven't hit it yet? Start blocking them out, ignoring phone calls, not answering the door, not meeting them, NOTHING. THAT will become their bottom. When they start to lose everything and everyone around them, they'll either give into the drug more, or they'll stand up and do something.

As stated, you cannot FORCE recovery. You can take steps to protect yourself, your feelings, your mind, your mentality, your life. If that means this person isn't in your life at all, so be it. But when they see everyone leaving them, perhaps it'll get them to recovery. But trying to reason or talk to them isn't going to change it. The minute you start to talk, they've shut down faster than you can blink. Their addiction trumps EVERYTHING, including you, in their life.

Do whatever it takes to save your friend.

this is hard on me,thank you,i have not slept since monday,i guess, i feel like its my fault,i am dealing with this everyday,its in my face.ever since mj died its becoming alot more real and scary to me. thank you all. sorry to put this on all of you.

this persons frirnds do it to, its all around them.

You can only be friends with the person that once was.

Talk to that friend about it and tell em how you feel about it.

If that doesn't work (2 fingers in the air in a peace sign - you are outtie 5000).

I know it'll hurt to do that but you are the friend to that person and by that friend not taking the right steps to keep your friendship - time to let go -you have done your part.

I went through this and I cried for days until I realized that it was me who kept the friendship alive and friendship is not a one way street.
[Edited 7/23/09 13:35pm]

i think if you have a lot of support, you can try to appeal to this person to make a change. a long time ago, i had a roommate who was also a very good friend, and this person had a drug dependency problem. fortunately, i was able to reach out to all our mutual friends, who also noticed the problem, and we actually DID hold an intervention and we also got my roommate's family involved. in this situation, there was so much support and so much out in the open that we were able to help my friend and now she's been clean for over a decade and has a happy marriage and two kids.

i've been in other situations, though, where the support wasn't really there as much, and all i could do was protect myself from a friend's damaging path of drug-crazy. sadly, i've had to sever a couple of friendships because of this, because it was either stay in their lives and get sucked into their chaos, or distance myself and be safe. and ya know, if my life is going to be chaos, *I* wanna be the one creating it!

thank you anxiety!thanks to everyone!its nice to be able to get this off my shoulders. i no what i need to do now.

I was listening to this song and thought about you and your situation. I thought about the words and not too much of the video so I wanted to share it with you...

lladygold said:

It's not your fault! The only person who can stop this person taking pills is themself, trying to reason with them is useless if they don't realise how far they've gone into addiction.

As others have said, you need to tell their family and stage an intervention. And above all you need to look after yourself and stop letting it eat you away, addicts can chew up people who try to help them and take everything they have.