I LOATHE THIS TERM!

matthewgrant said:

I've had different, but very similar, versions of that too. hehehe

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

TOTALLY agree on the shame based comment.

People use the term because they think being a sissy or a femme guy is a detriment to being a man. Kind of reminds me of what Madonna said in her song:



The same ideas are there. I'm not 100% masculine, but I'm not carrying a man bag and whistling to some dead bitch with a drug habit from the 40's. I tell folks I am who I am, and if you wanna get down, let's go. Otherwise, there'll be someone else in line. There always is.

Even though there is always a bit of clique-mentality in every segment of gay world, Bear world seems to be a bit more relaxed on this whole idea. It's not about butch or femm. Guys are just guys, and bears know that. Bears were the underground but are quickly becoming to the forefront of acceptance in the Gay world. Nothing is perfect, but it's a step in the right direction.

ernestsewell said:

BULL SHIT!!!!!

the bears treat me me like shit. why because i look young and i'm skinny.

all clicks of queens treat opposing clicks like they are less than them.

ehuffnsd said:

Read the last sentence.

And c'mere.

johnart said:

i think the term "straight-acting" says more about the person using the term than it does about the person they're referring to.

Anxiety said:

It can equally be either.

Edited for spelling.
[Edited 7/24/09 15:30pm]

ernestsewell said:

What does this term mean? Bears...Im realizing that i have lived a sheltered life..

ernestsewell said:

equally what?

tinaz said:

ernestsewell said:

what, you can either be a person who calls someone something or you can be the person who someone is describing?

i think i can be those things too.

Anxiety said:

I mean "It can be equally either."

tinaz said:

But big guys, hairy guys, robust types. Russell Crowe in Gladiator could be a bear. Billy Mays was a bear type. But a thinner, but hairy guy could be a bear. A skinny guy could be an otter. "Bear" is quickly becoming a more general term for the alternative to the normal Abercombie and Fitch clones.

ernestsewell said:

oh. ok.

i disagree.

i think when someone says someone is "straight acting", it informs me as to how that person views other people and how they view masculinity and personal identity.

meanwhile, it's safe to say there's a risk of being presumptuous when you label someone in a way that implies they're trying to "act" heterosexual.

so. it says more to me about the person saying it than the person it's being said about.

but that's just my hang-up, i'm probably completely wrong on this.

GREAT thread. And I don't know where to start with this...

If people would deal with their own hang-ups, there probably wouldn't be any need for 'labelling'.

It's an intriguing/confusing topic for me... I'm aware, and comfortable, with who I am; it's others' preconceptions and assumptions that make it so bloody complicated.

onenitealone said:

there was a thread called why are white arists allowed to be out, that had lots of internalized homophobia in it.

It's definitely one of the more self-limiting and possibly self-loathing phrases in the LGBT vernacular.

Personally, I'm one of the minority who would label themselve's as straight acting. If that means I'm full of self loathing then so be it.

xenon said:

can you define straight acting? cause to me, as my crush, a former army ranger who's mom didn't believe he was gay til he brought home his first boyfriend and most people who work out at his gym don't think he's gay when they first meet him, told me anyone who claims to be straight acting and sucks cock doesn't understand what it means to be straight.

johnart said:

I agree with you actually.

It makes straight = desirable trait

ZombieKitten said:

And has a way of creating second class citizens within the community.

.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I didn't really realize it was more desired than anything else.

xenon said:

you don't come off like a straight acting asshole though some people simply are masculine or feminine. People who are concious to "act straight" usually treat us femmys like shit. You never have!

ehuffnsd said:

I got it now! Except we call them Lumberjacks lol... Not as gay men, but just in general..
[Edited 7/24/09 18:05pm]

tinaz said:

Us cityfolk have different terms

LOL!

ernestsewell said:

Thank you for explaining it to me!

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Well that's my act buggered then!

i'm usually described as awake-acting.