I guess there are men who are more "masculine" than others, but to categorize them as "straight acting" i guess is the same as hetro's saying someone is acting "gay"?... Which really if you think about it what are the qualifications of a person acting either way?

I too think its sad that gay men and women have to "cover up" whoi they are and their sexuality because in the long run, who cares! Everyone deserves love and respect and we shouldnt judge people by what they do in their bedroom or who they fall in love with...

Ok, i got off topic for a minute..lol..Im just curious...is saying someone is "straight acting" a derogatory term? I mean, would a gay man be offended by that?

tinaz said:

No, "Straight Acting" is usually not used in a derogatory manner.
It's like something that some guys apparently strive for and seek in others.
They describe themselves as such.

Hubby and I got into a heated debate over this term.

Hubby thinks it's no big deal. That saying a guy is Straight-Acting is just saying he's "masculine" and nothing more.

But if you want to say you're masculine, why not just say you're masculine?
To me it means that you can "pass" and I personally think that's kind of sad and shitty. It seems to be some sort of badge of honor or desirable trait (for some).

I almost feel like saying a masculine guy is Straight-Acting is like saying an articulate person of color is White-Acting. It just seems backwards and rubs me the wrong way.

Curious to get some other opinions on this.

^^ BUT I can believe when people say a guy is 'straight acting' they really mean he's primarily masculine because there are alot of terms people use blatantly disregarding the meaning of words and phrases, they don't think about it.
[Edited 7/24/09 10:04am]

Personally, I agree with you and not the hubby.

I don't think most people who use the term really mean anything bad or derogatory towards gay people who are more obviously so, but the implication is still there IMO. Why not just say masculine, indeed? Hell, there's quite a few straight guys that aren't straight-acting themselves.

johnart said:

I tell people this: You can wear your sports jersey, and smoke all the cigarettes you want and scratch your balls while watching the Superbowl, but when you're fucking a dude, or sucking his dick....that's not very straight acting.

I'm not a fem guy, but the whole idea of super butch or femme is a labeling system I'm so OVER. It's ridiculous. For all of the "Celebrate Diversity" bullshit and "let everyone be themselves" chants, the gay community does nothing but segregate themselves from each other. Twink. Bear. Jock. Chub. Straight Acting. Femme. WHATEVER! People are stupid. Straight world will NEVER take gay people seriously, and understand that being gay is NOT a joke, until the gay community stops making the whole thing a joke.

Don't get me started on this. But I'm glad you brought it up.

tinaz said:

No, "Straight Acting" is usually not used in a derogatory manner.
It's like something that some guys apparently strive for and seek in others.
They describe themselves as such.

johnart said:

I tell people this: You can wear your sports jersey, and smoke all the cigarettes you want and scratch your balls while watching the Superbowl, but when you're fucking a dude, or sucking his dick....that's not very straight acting.

I'm not a fem guy, but the whole idea of super butch or femme is a labeling system I'm so OVER. It's ridiculous. For all of the "Celebrate Diversity" bullshit and "let everyone be themselves" chants, the gay community does nothing but segregate themselves from each other. Twink. Bear. Jock. Chub. Straight Acting. Femme. WHATEVER! People are stupid. Straight world will NEVER take gay people seriously, and understand that being gay is NOT a joke, until the gay community stops making the whole thing a joke.

Don't get me started on this. But I'm glad you brought it up.

I don't have a problem with it because it's not an abusive term and is used loosely without intent. Perhaps because my closest gay friend always refers to gay men he's attracted to as 'straight acting' so I suppose that's why I remain impartial. Too much pc around these days.

matthewgrant said:

meow85 said:

I think you two make a really good point about how people use words disregarding meanings and not having ill-intent.

hug:
I'm most definitely not butch, but I don't skip down the street either (much ). What I mean is, I wouldn't (have never) feel the need to really categorize myself as one thing over another. I dunno, I'm just a gay dude. I'm just me and someone's either gonna like me for that or not.

PanthaGirl said:

it aint about PC. As a gay man who has no problem feeling and expressing my emotions, I have had people throw this straight acting crap in my face like I should be ashamed that i have and express feelings. The ability to not suppress your true self is what makes a real man not the facade that those who embrace this term put on.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I hear yah and understand what ur saying but I was referring to the term when it is used without intent to harm another. We're human first and foremost so I'm sorry to hear about ur negative experience.

johnart said:

IMO it's the same thing as when people say something is gay when they mean it's stupid. The negative implication is always there, but most people don't really mean it that way because they're not thinking about what's coming out of their mouth.

Hubby and I got into a heated debate over this term.

Hubby thinks it's no big deal. That saying a guy is Straight-Acting is just saying he's "masculine" and nothing more.

But if you want to say you're masculine, why not just say you're masculine?
To me it means that you can "pass" and I personally think that's kind of sad and shitty. It seems to be some sort of badge of honor or desirable trait (for some).

I almost feel like saying a masculine guy is Straight-Acting is like saying an articulate person of color is White-Acting. It just seems backwards and rubs me the wrong way.

Curious to get some other opinions on this.

rubs me the wrong way too. I actually really hate the term

I often get "you don't act gay" from people but I just tell them "you've never seen me suck a dick"

when I was "straight acting" I was hiding from myself.

Hubby and I got into a heated debate over this term.

Hubby thinks it's no big deal. That saying a guy is Straight-Acting is just saying he's "masculine" and nothing more.

But if you want to say you're masculine, why not just say you're masculine?
To me it means that you can "pass" and I personally think that's kind of sad and shitty. It seems to be some sort of badge of honor or desirable trait (for some).

I almost feel like saying a masculine guy is Straight-Acting is like saying an articulate person of color is White-Acting. It just seems backwards and rubs me the wrong way.

Curious to get some other opinions on this.

matthewgrant said:

Same here.
Then there's the reaction sometime when they find out I'm gay "so why didn't you ever try for some of this?"
(When I want a dick with no brain, I'll use a dildo . . . .)

rubs me the wrong way too. I actually really hate the term

I often get "you don't act gay" from people but I just tell them "you've never seen me suck a dick"

when I was "straight acting" I was hiding from myself.

matthewgrant said:

!!!!

Alej said:

that's so perfect

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

It ota is

Alej said:

matthewgrant said:

I only wish I could see the look on their faces when you've said that

I've had that happen quite a few times. When someone's kid or my own cousins have said "Ugh, that's so gay" in front of me and their parents get on them and seem mortified.
I'm just like, don't read 'em the riot act, I know what they mean. A calm explanation is probably sufficient.