ZombieKitten said:

Well, I hope it will soon be a thing of the past.

Genesia said:

fingers crossed!

None of them have anything serious, we've been to the doc and follow what has been suggested it's just a pain in the ass (literally for poor Wally )

ZombieKitten said:

Christopher said:

ZombieKitten said:

sounds like you need a regular girls night out to me. I'm not saying give up on the hubby but rather accept his limits and fulfill your needs (I'm NOT talking sexual here people!) with other social interaction.

The past 6 or so times my husband n I have been 'alone' together about 5 state troopers needed to cum break up the fun.

Shorty said:

Agreed 100%

Mach said:

yep yep

Shorty said:

where do I get some girls from
I've never really had girl friends, always my harem of boys

ZombieKitten said:

I just think he'll find a lame excuse not to give you attention (such as "I'm not hungry") if he doesn't know that he's officially on a date.

So a nice dinner, or movie & popcorn, or drinks & a fire aren't going to work by themselves, he has to know what is expected of him.

ZombieKitten said:

you can join some group like stitch & bitch or book club

ZombieKitten said:

or you could have a regular boys night, that might get his attention!

NDRU said:

should I have a formal invitation printed too?

See, this is the issue I will also continue to have, the one that I am making an effort that is only noticed when I am NOT making it.

NDRU said:

ZombieKitten said:

maybe you should have an invitation. Sounds like you have to beat him over the head.

threads like this are why I expected Leo to be cold & silent

I am noticing that a couple regular nights per week are enough, but both people have to be aware that the other is the focus of attention, not laundry or dishes or band. So maybe not an invitation, but instituting a date night.

As lame as date night sounds, we had them when we were single. Fridays & Saturdays.

NDRU said:

and husky too apparently!

nope, he is mister ask a million questions and get the wife to listen to and remember all the answers mister overcommitted social butterfly who spends all day talking talking talking and runs out of talk by the time I get him in my hands

NDRU said:

I know! except they are gig nights and 3 other nights are practice, recording it could be on a Sunday night I guess, or Monday or Tuesday

ZombieKitten said:

I believe you, but I think it might be useful to ask yourself what part you are playing in that.

Is there something you do that if not encourages that behavior, does not sufficiently discourage it?

ZombieKitten said:

There you go, make one of those a semi-mandatory date night. Sundays are probably good.

NDRU said:

I don't get a chance TO do anything. I do all the stuff that needs to be done, he comes home, eats, disappears into the garage to do music while I deal with the offspring, comes back into the house to ask if I want to watch a movie, if I don't want to, he will go back into the garage for a few more hours, so I usually agree to watch a movie since it's better than nothing. I think he's tickled pink over this arrangement!
Should I make a scene do you think?

NDRU said:

I've emailed him a memo

ZombieKitten said:

I guess that what you said makes it seem a little like you allow that to happen.

ZombieKitten said:

it's Thursday & Saturday for me

NDRU said:

for example, my brother comes home from work and probably has a stiff drink, then gets his ass kicked by his wife, who makes him bathe the kids & read to them before bedtime. Then the rest of the night is free.

Not that you two need to be like them, but I don't see why Leo comes home from work then gets to ignore the kids while he does music.
[Edited 7/23/09 16:30pm]

NDRU said:

I can't forbid him to do stuff, I would then be stuck with a miserable person who is just itching to get away. He always asks me "have we got something on, on Tuesday night?" I'll say, no, because we don't really, unless you count watching a movie so he books in his recording session (he'll have the other party on the other line waiting for my answer) the times I HAVE said NO I don't want you to, there has been a lot of terse negotiations, and I feel terrible!

NDRU said:

He plays with the kids while I cook, he can't ignore them, they are all over him until he escapes to the garage!

NDRU said:

he is an adult, not another child. I don't EVER want to be nagging him and bossing him around.

ZombieKitten said:

Well, that's why Sundays are now booked with you.

ZombieKitten said:

But he's playing with the kids while you cook & playing his music while you stew. That sounds like what a kid does.

My brother doesn't get his ass kicked anymore, it was just a precedent that was set early in the relationship that he would have to shoulder a lot of responsibility if he wanted to be with her, and that the responsibility didn't end after work.

And that's why I don't have kids