When they spend time together enjoying each other's company?

Are you just watching TV? or doing more or less specific activities?



If I don't announce "tonight we are watching a movie/playing scrabble/??" the master retreats out into the music studio when I'm not looking, he always has so many things to do, that he feels only obligated to spend time with me if I request it.

Is this weird? Or do I just need more ideas for activities?

If the weather is nice, we take the dog out to the valley for a long walk together.

On nights that we are really tired and there is nothing good on TV, we go to bed early, snuggle up and watch a movie on the laptop.

or find a TV series that we want to see and go up to bed early and watch an episode together each night before bed on the laptop.

habitually we occupied a long time in the kitchen
my children like to cook, me also.

almost always a war exists because TV; I am annoying with that. I don't leave they to be hours front of the television.I try to maintain them with tasks: clean the house, make purchases; walk the dog; ...

when they have free time and they are not with the friends, we will play billiards, to walk in the street, not to do anything... we heard music, we were in the sofa and we talked: we liked to be to look for the air and to leave the time to pass: pure laziness

I usually seek that they swallow his friends to our house; they like to come and leave the kitchen given to them: they make dinner, they improvise and it's always a good opportunity for me to hear what happens with them

that's nice ingamilo you sound like you really enjoy your guys (inviting their friends over to cook and stuff IS an excellent way to keep up with what's new in their lives )

I forgot to say in my post "when the kids AREN'T there" or are asleep, and you have a couple of hours in the evening before collapsing in a heap

See I really like just letting the time pass and making conversation naturally, but my other half feels compelled to spend every spare moment productively, it's almost obsessive!

ZombieKitten said:

The husband and I dont really get that time either. We have tow kids in dancing after school on a Tuesday, Wednedsday is my daughters basket ball games, thursday my Husband is at school after work until 9pm and on the weekends there is more dance classes and hubby always has to mow the lwan or study or something. We dont even have babysitters because my mother passed away in 98 and my sibling have a ton of kids, my father is 60 and literally works 7 days a week and hubbys parents are in the USA

chillichocaholic said:

so how are you guys keeping it together?

ZombieKitten said:

Damned if I know

chillichocaholic said:

that totally sucks!

ZombieKitten said:

I think we are just both too stubborn to give up

chillichocaholic said:

you guys might need to make yourselves a bit more of a priority I reckon

ZombieKitten said:

It would be nice I guess Doubt its going to happen anytime soon though

chillichocaholic said:

don't you want to spend time together? Maybe that's what I'm doing all wrong all that longing for nothing, when I could just be leading a totally separate life!

ZombieKitten said:

U don't want my honest answer to that
Seriously though, dont lead seperate lives if u can avoid it. Its no fun

chillichocaholic said:

really? that's sad

ZombieKitten said:

Well, we do the running around for the kids "together" and things....but we don't have any time alone together,...well rarely, and if we do we go and take care of things we dont have time to with the kids in tow

chillichocaholic said:

never a movie night in? or game of scrabble where the winner must do whatever the loser desires in bed?

ZombieKitten said:

Nope to the first and definantly no to the second....we dont even own scrabble and the man would say "Im not playing scrabble I have to study"

chillichocaholic said:

Timepoor ? wth does that mean ?

do you mean what do we do together when we are not busy doing all the things that revolve around the kids ?

on a regular week night....it's watch TV.
we occasionally go out to a bar, where the hubby plays acoustic as an opening act for a friends band. That's always fun.
but usually we go out separately on alternating friday nights.
[Edited 7/22/09 11:06am]

ingamilo said:

you live in a wonderful world! your kids: clean the house, cooking, talk in a peaceful and laziness... no television, no computer, I think, no games... paradise! how I wish my kids do the same ... you are a very very big educator!
I think I'm going to

my parents have date night every friday

We always always set up a date night, no matter what we go to dinner and a movie or dinner and the casino we both love the casino, so that is always a sure bet.

Mach said:

time-poor
adjective [after verb]
not having enough time to do things:
Increasingly, both men and women in the professional middle classes are work-rich and time-poor.

and yes exactly that

ZombieKitten said:

Interesting - even when we both worked fulltime and had all 4 kids home - all the sports teams and all that jazz as BUSY as we were ... I would have never had that mindset (timepoor)

ANYWAY - we have date nights out and in - alone and with friends - sex is/was a big part of our together time - we are not TV watchers overall - we enjoy cooking .. long weekend vacations - drives, walks, talking - concerts - camping

we always made time for each other and still do - it was not hard for us

ZombieKitten said:

my sweet ZZZkitten: we will smoke a cigarette and talk a little OK?


I was like this and I gave up; or better: the life made me to give up
exhaustions more exhaustions, more exhaustions and.... fodas! I don't get more to work: 12, 14, 24 hours to work, a lot of times without conditions, more the children, the bills to pay, the shit of the house, the car, the diapers, the schools,... DOESN'T GIVE... we were without capacity for anything (nor vitamins, nor regime, nor mushrooms, oats or fruits and vegetables... anything). Therefore I left the work; I got divorced and I arranged the boots..; I am hung over and I think no longer I will get the potential that could have there are some years ago

ingamilo said:

apart from all the smoking I see where you're coming from, you were both too busy to look after yourselves and your marriage, and you are now paying the consequences

I work from home, but not very much - I actually have HOURS of spare time, to myself, to look after myself, to learn, to do whatever I want. My gripe is that outside of work, my husband has so many extracurricular activities he won't help me at home, nor does he have time to spend with me except in front of the TV (which is he classes as relaxation), since he is usually way too tired to have a conversation or something. As soon as he lies down he is snoring. That is not who I married!

Mach said:

I think you 2 were somewhat younger than us then?
So you didn't mind never seeing each other?

ZombieKitten said:

I was 24 TR was 30 at marriage w/2 kids and then within 3 yrs we had 2 more and built a house too ...

we saw each other every day ... and we continued "dating" after marriage ... we still date
now when we would have our away from it all ( and each other ) alone times, wether if it was a weekend or 2 weeks ... yes - we do not mind not seeing each other then

Mach said:

I'm 38 and he's 43, and at the small kids stage tired old farts and I watch him burning the candle at both ends