SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

But you are wearing it, honoring a wonderful woman. That's what counts

amorbella said:

I was joshin with ya

Yes, I wear it in her honor. I'm astounded actually that she let me have it before she died. I guess she could tell it was important to me and I had been wearing it before she passed as a symbol of solidarity. Such a ridiculously small gesture considering but HUGE just the same because it came from my heart.

I have a question that I can't seem to get an answer to. My grandmother asked me to be a pall bearer before she died. I told her I would. But my grandmother changed her mind and decided to be cremated.

Will we still proceed with the ceremony of bearing a coffin or is that no longer going to happen because of the cremation? Anyone have experienc with this and can answer?

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

it can go a few ways.
If she is cremated after the services, then most likely she will be in the church in a casket. So you may still have to be a "pall". If they cremate her before the services, then they usually ask for a big pic or pictures to be put up surrounded with flowers.

Your family may decided to put the urn in a coffin and bury it, or keep the urn the the house like we do. it all depends on her last wishes, family decisions and of course $$$$
[Edited 7/21/09 13:14pm]

matthewgrant said:

thank you Mr. Grant

There are some things that I want to wrath out on.

First of all the idea that embryos which will be discarded cannot be used for research purposes is INSANE. I hear the argument that these cells deserve more dignity than to be used for research. What kind of dignity is being thrown in the garbage? The way to validate, honor and give dignity to these non entities is to have them serve a purpose if that is what you believe they are supposed to do. Instead of the trash they can serve humanity.

EMBRYONIC STEM CELL RESEARCH NOW

Second, healthcare

I understand that there becomes a point where there is nothing the doctors can do for a patient. That is where my grandmother was but when she described to me how the doctors told her, it was just without compassion and so cold. don't come back, there is nothing we can do for you. Your husband can do the same thing we would do here. then just leaving the room.

She also told me a story about a nurse that dumped hot water on her privates at the rest home. I don't care you don't hit girls, that nurse would have gotten socked up if she did that shit when I was there.

Also, my grandmother told me about different issues she faced as far as getting seen by the doctors and her run-ins with insurance companies. She told me about how one time she was with her doctor and he told her she needed a test for her heart:

Mrs. Lujan, you need to have a test done on your heart but don't worry. I will be there with you every step of the way. You don't have to be afraid

Hearing that my grandma wondered what the hell that was all about, like why he's telling her not to be afraid and stuff. So she went for her scheduled test and the doctor was not there. She told the staff that the doctor promised he would be there with her, and rightfully so since he told her he would be there and she didn't ask for his presence. They told her the doctor was on vacation but that everything would be alright.

So they set to do the test but my grandmother's blood pressure was elevated so they said they had to reschedule it. So my grandmother goes on her way and waits for the test to be rescheduled. In the meantime, they billed her for the test which was never done and it was going to be $1,000 out of pocket. She told them that they never did the test and that she wasn't going to pay and they kept hounding her till it landed in collections and the people at the hospital told her that she either pays the bill or they would blacklist her from the hospital.

Do you know I almost want to kill someone over that? We are talking a premiere hospital that most people want to go to and my grandmother ended up paying that bill because she was too afraid not to have access to the hospital because of all her health concerns. How many other seniors are subjected to these mafia tactics?

I was so sickened when she told me this story. Bottom line I guess is to be involved in your parents or grandparents healthcare when they run into roadblocks or issues. The hospital staff would not have survived our encounter had I been involved. You can trust on that.

amorbella said:

The wake is Monday and the funeral on Tuesday. I guess we'll see how it goes

BIG HUGS to you hun! i am sorry for your loss..

So very touching words

babooshleeky said:

Thank you Chrissy

Serious said:

Thank you Martina for reading them

Efan said:

I feel like I haven't even come close to explaining how profound and how beautiful the time was. But thank you

Aelis said:

Don't worry, I have enough words for an entire nation

minneapolisgenius said:

funny the different things you grow up with and you don't even think about it when speaking of them to others who are not hispanic. I said Chonies one time and the person was like what the hell are chonies

O. M. G! I have to mention the fact that my grandmother was the bomb cook. Over the years we used to have tamales for Christmas, never ham or turkeys. We had turkey/ham for the first time just this decade and that is because the women who used to slave all day on the tamales have died or or getting old. One time I brought my friends for thanksgiving and they were like rice, on thanksgiving? But my grandmother made these peas with butter, onion, chopped chilis and bacon. My friends flipped out on them so hard and they hate peas.

My grandfather learned how to cook from my gradndmother and the last meal I had at my grandma's house was a meal my grandfather cooked of White Fish, shrimp and peas with spanish rice. It was amazing.

Her cooking is something I will miss like crazy

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I somehow believe that
But unlike some people who also have plenty of words, you are worth listening. So keep on talking

noimageatall said:

I love that It's so true.

This song has been speaking to me SO HARD:



When I think of home, I think of a place
where there's love overflowing

I wish I was home, I wish I was back there
with the things I've been knowing

Oh and if you're listening God, Please don't make it hard
for me to know if we should believe in the things that we see

tell us should we run away or should we try and stay
or would it be better to just let things be

Living here in this brand new world might be a fantasy
but it taught me to love, yeah so it's real real to me

and oh I've learned that we must look inside our hearts to find
a world full of love like your's like mine

Like home.....



.
[Edited 7/21/09 15:31pm]

sent my cousin Sonya a link to the thread and this is what she said:



I love you cuz and that was so BEAUTIFUL what you dedicated to Grandma Vicki I am so glad I saw her when me and Abby came to California in May. We had a nice visit with her and it was my mother, father, sister Angela and Abby. Grandma was so happy to see us. I agree she is the strongest woman I HAVE EVER KNOWN IN MY LIFE! I will always cherish how her love brought our family together always.....Call me later love ya Pops....
[Edited 7/21/09 15:44pm]

I haven't quite found the words or the full idea of what I'm feeling but I am waxing SO PHILISOPHIC over this picture:



This is a shot of my grandmother with the grandkids at her 80th surprise birthday party. My sister Natalie couldn't make it because her evil employer would not give her the time off. My brothers Chris and Jonathan and sister Angelina weren't there either. didn't want to forget them.

I have one arm around my cousin Lisa and the other around my Grandmother. Both of them have gone to the next phase of life. With my grandmother, absolutely I feel like a shepherd and that part of the whole reason for me to come out at the time I did is because that is when she needed the love and support the most especially spriritually. I don't claim to have all the answers but our conversations definitely allowed her to speak on her beliefs, fears and hopes.

Unfortunately this was the last time I ever saw or spoke to my cousin. But the way I'm processing her death, the remembrances and the music project I did last year, all with the intention of being that shepherd to her even in the afterlife.

I feel there is a connection but I haven't sussed it out yet but wanted still to post the picture and give my first thoughts.

.
[Edited 7/22/09 13:19pm]

Aelis said:

Well that isn't a unanimous concensus. I won't mention one of my most devoted fans who would argue with you

Glad you think the better of me

.
[Edited 7/21/09 17:33pm]

Richard.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I love that song...

noimageatall said:

Me too I was listening to it and I couldn't help but imagine my grandma in the Wiz

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

She's probably dancing to it right now!

noimageatall said:

God help the evil Queen. She aint got shit on Vicenta Lujan

noimageatall said:

And I tell you what else she's doing. She is winning every. single. bingo. game!

It's going to be hard to tell all her friends at Bingo that she passed

Richard...I have been thinking about you non-stop since I read your post on Facebook. I was finally able to sit in front of my PC and read this thread. All I can say is I wish I was there right now to give you the biggest hug a person could give another. You know I adore you with my full heart!!!!!

MoniGram said:

Awww Moni! Thank you for your love. At times like this we need it the most. I feel so blessed to have so many wonderful friends to support me in the pain of this and to share in the joys as well.

Give baby Seyhan a big kiss from Uncle Supa!

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I will give her a HUGE kiss from her Uncle Supa!!!!