I'm sure this has cause quite a dilemma for many of us. So when is it okay to leave your lover or spouse if you are no longer attracted to them?

And specifically in the more difficult case (?) where they didn't change really at all, but you just find yourself no longer attracted to them, and attracted to almost anyone else?

Why torture yourself? Why torture them?

If you aren't attracted to a person sexually, then there is no point in moving forward....unless you want a sexless, best-friend type relationship.

It will cause resentment and plenty of sexual frustration.



Smooches;)

oh dear

ZombieKitten said:

ahhah!you know a thing? these model are crazy...
true traumas are those that take the people to want always more and more, and more and more; some arrive to collecy bodies in the chest or in the guard facts

ingamilo said:

I think it would be a terrible situation to be in, to be honest.
I also think people believe if that if it isn't so NOW it never can be again. If people have the time to spend together and enjoy each other's company, they can remember the spark that used to be there and re-ignite it. But it takes 2, if one is already looking outside of the marriage, it will be much harder. Many other factors such as depression have a huge impact. I don't think it's just suddenly one day you look at your partner and it's not there any more.

ZombieKitten said:

it 's true; but can we always subliming??? it liked that it had been in another way
it 's necessary always to do the mourning; or to change of sex...
but to substitute only for not having attraction, not; there are other things to drain; only after that, I find; with me it went like this.

ingamilo said:

of course it isn't realistic to expect it to stay the way things are when the relationship is new, I agree. It does change, and the attraction can change to something else that is also very worthwhile holding onto. The trouble is lots of folks find themselves all wrapped up in someone new then look back into their own marriage and see how all that potential excitement they could feel with someone else, is NOT there at home and they think all is lost

ZombieKitten said:

ingamilo said:

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

^^^^

ZombieKitten said:

Exactly, exactly, exactly. I think you CAN get that "spark" back even though you never thought you'd ever think so again.

When the love is gone, the chemistry is burnt out and the spark won't ignite, say ur goodbyes and move on.

PanthaGirl said:

That is well said .....

ocean said:

Thanks lovely.

I'd be out of there...if I didn't leave I would end up cheating.