Yes, I know you're all huge studs with huge cocks that know how to drive the ladies wild but read this and tell me if this is common with dudes.

This guy I like…like really like and have known for years is a good friend of mine and we've been fuck buddies off and on for about 6 years. Well, the very first time we slept together I asked him what he liked (totally normal thing to do, right?), and he got all awkward and answered, "I dunno, no one ever asked me that". I was shocked but whatever, I just did what I thought he would like. Well, I guess he liked it enough to stick around for all this time..hooked on the sex I suppose. However, things didn't really progress all that much in bed....don't get me wrong, he definitely knows what he's doing for sure, has lots of experience with different girls...but I think it could have gotten way hotter if he just opened up a little. He's admitted in the past that I intimidate him...but come on...how many times do we have to do it for you to let loose a little??

Anyway, we stopped sleeping together (and pretty much even seeing each other) about a year and a half ago because he is seeing someone but we went out last weekend and of course ending up having sex. It had been a while and so I asked him again what he wanted and AGAIN he said, "I dunno". I was like wtf?? Haven't you been with a gf for a year and a half and still 'I dunno'???

So I'm talking to my friend and she recently met this dude and slept with him for the first time and she asked him what he liked. He answered with, "I dunno" as well.

Ok, so seriously...is this common? Do most guys end up with girls that don't care what he wants? Like, there is no communication at all when it comes to sex? And can a guy really not know what they like/want? Or are they just holding back for some reason?

And I'm totally making it my mission to make this dude a filthy, filthy boy.

JustErin said:

Why couldn't you be a gay man..... heehee!

JustErin said:

No.

JustErin said:

(some) women do it too.

congrats. you're with a man who doesnt know how to talk about his desires.

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

But are lots of dudes like this?

most dudes don't feel like talking after sex. A lot of men have communication issues, too. Maybe try talking about it at a different time. Perhaps he'll be more relaxed and able to just talk about it.



Or maybe he just wants to fuck the way it's been going, men are simple also. Rarely is it some deep, in depth process as to what the answer is.

Girls read too much Cosmo and shit.

Ace said:

That's what I thought. So dude must have some weird kind of hang up?
Why isn't he telling me???

Frig.

SirPsycho said:

Congrats?

Fuck you.

JustErin said:

JustErin said:

I love to corrupt a man, but he might be uncorruptable.
he sounds like he's too afraid/intimidated/scared/shy to ask for what he wants.
Does he act shy when u have sex?

JerseyKRS said:

Well, this isn't after sex. I have no interest in talking after sex. I wanna sleep or get up and get the day going or whatever.

I don't read cosmo.

I just want to know what I can do to make him feel amazing.

1sexymf said:

He's known me for 6 years. Why the hell would he still hold back with me?

He's definitely not shy in regards to initiating and actually having sex, or even expressing how it feels or whatever....it's just the 'I dunno' that bugs the shit outta me.

I think rather than not knowing what he wants/likes, he's simply not comfortable talking much about it. Even after 13 years of marriage, it'd feel a bit awkward to give a hard and fast wish list. We rather just act spontaneously and gauge responses, etc., I guess.

Take comfort in knowing you must be doing something he likes. He still comes back... even though he's now got a girlfriend.
[Edited 7/10/09 9:13am]

This has happened to me too.
But
I think as long as a mans dick goes into something, he's fine with it!


boooooring

Lammastide said:

I think he may be not comfortable talking to You Erin about it

As you don't need me to tell you men are fragile creatures underneath the bluster

You Erin obviously know what and how you like it and i would guess are no shrinking violet in the boffing department.

Because of this he probably thinks a) your gonna roll your eyes at his suggetion

or b) think what he suggests is a bit lame or maybe not 'hot' enough to mention.

I know you don't see it like that and only want to make the whole experience hotter

Maybe you could just vary it up and see how he reacts rather than actually asking

The good news is not all men are like this, but most just like blowjobs boffing doggystyle and talking dirty but I am sure you know this

If asked by a woman who really wants to know...I'd tell her.....ALL men KNOW what they like and want...

DanceWme said:

i called you...

JustErin said:

um...im dealing wit the same thing babes.

either you take him by the hand or accept that he's more comfortable NOT exploring his innermost perversions.


quit bein lazy

SirPsycho said:

when? if it was between yesterday and today..my damn sim card got fucked up. Im on my way to the tmobile store to get another one now.
I cant pimp without my means of communication




and DONT roll ya eyes at me. as long as yall dick goes somewhere..its all good!

It's like you are probing for fetishes or special acts.

How specific do you need him to be?

DanceWme said:

but that's the premise of basically everything?

Maybe he just likes the basics and doesn't really give a damn what position or whatever details.

Cinnie said:

do u like to be in control? or would u rather im in control?
up against the wall? in the shower? on the chair? wanna play hide and fuck?


u know.....

JustErin said:

Why don't you start by telling him what you like, what makes you hot. Maybe share your fantasies. And then do stuff to him and ask him how he likes it..is it better like this..or shall I...and ladidadidadida and so on.

I've never had issues telling guys what I like or what I don't like. Maybe some straight guys get shy if a girrrl is more forward than they expect? Dunno, just guessing..

DanceWme said:

What the fuck is hide and fuck

DanceWme said:

yeah ok, try that simple shit wit me. we done had enough walks for you to know what sah be bout. i needs me some stimulation...

DanceWme said:

and as for ya phone....sucks

endymion said:

hide and seek but when u find me u gotta fuck me immediately


i dont know

Lammastide said:

But I'm not looking for him to right an essay on it. Just let me in a little.

As for the gf...ya, well...he wants out...that's for him to work out. I don't care.

endymion said:

i'm assuming you didnt grow up in the inner city

DanceWme said:

So boring.

I just think it could be so much hotter.

DanceWme said:

Ahhh, well as long as it involves my dick going in something i am fine