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PrintableSupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: Lammastide said: I'm honestly very sorry to hear all this.
Questions (Please take no offense, an feel free to tell me to @#$! off if I'm treading on sensitive ground): You have no interest in reconciling, but you also don't want your wife to "be" with anyone else? I'm of the mind she shouldn't be, but... is that not a little selfish of you? I generally champion reconciliation in these instances, but if there's no interest or hope of it, how is staying together in what sounds like an antagonistic environment helping either of you or the kids? Because he leaves, the C wins. That's why   I can see how it might give her an advantage to claim the house if he moves out, if that's what you mean by "winning." But a good lawyer can navigate through that.
As for "winning" in some battle of egos in the relationship, I don't even see the point in playing that game.  Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.” | |
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pardonme4livin said: My wife pretty much hates me....and I have been very suspicious if she was "talking" to someone else...I haven't found any hard evidence outside of text messages (sent and recieved no content)....but my instincts tell me to be very alert right now....I don't want to reconscile...but I don't want to play the fool either....my life really sucks...
How is your day?  so sorry you're going through this!  | |
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Lammastide said: SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: Because he leaves, the C wins. That's why I can see how it might give her an advantage to claim the house if he moves out, if that's what you mean by "winning." But a good lawyer can navigate through that.
As for "winning" in some battle of egos in the relationship, I don't even see the point in playing that game. I'm not talking an ego trip. He said it was better for him to stay in the house and I take that to mean he abdicates responsibility or something and that might give her an ace or a trump card. Fuck that. No dishing out any trump cards, too bad for the kids. Kenny must win. 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: Lammastide said: I can see how it might give her an advantage to claim the house if he moves out, if that's what you mean by "winning." But a good lawyer can navigate through that.
As for "winning" in some battle of egos in the relationship, I don't even see the point in playing that game. I'm not talking an ego trip. He said it was better for him to stay in the house and I take that to mean he abdicates responsibility or something and that might give her an ace or a trump card. Fuck that. No dishing out any trump cards, too bad for the kids. Kenny must win. 
In the meantime, is the plan to stick it out to see who blinks first and files for divorce? Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.” | |
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Lammastide said: SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: I'm not talking an ego trip. He said it was better for him to stay in the house and I take that to mean he abdicates responsibility or something and that might give her an ace or a trump card. Fuck that. No dishing out any trump cards, too bad for the kids. Kenny must win.
In the meantime, is the plan to stick it out to see who blinks first and files for divorce? Yes, too bad for the kids. Kids adapt and they move on It sounds to me like she gains some sort of legal advantage if he leaves the house. Tough it out Kenny! 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: Lammastide said:
In the meantime, is the plan to stick it out to see who blinks first and files for divorce? Yes, too bad for the kids. Kids adapt and they move on It sounds to me like she gains some sort of legal advantage if he leaves the house. Tough it out Kenny! Remind me never to marry and have kids with you!  Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.” | |
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Lammastide said: SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: Yes, too bad for the kids. Kids adapt and they move on It sounds to me like she gains some sort of legal advantage if he leaves the house. Tough it out Kenny! Remind me never to marry and have kids with you! Don't worry, I don't want kids! Yeah, kids are pawns and I agree more with Kenny removing the pawn card from her hands even if it means the kids have to see them bitching at each other than to hand it over to her. Unless he's beating her or she's stabbing him, a little discomfort in the home is the American way of life! 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: Lammastide said: Remind me never to marry and have kids with you! Don't worry, I don't want kids! Yeah, kids are pawns and I agree more with Kenny removing the pawn card from her hands even if it means the kids have to see them bitching at each other than to hand it over to her. Unless he's beating her or she's stabbing him, a little discomfort in the home is the American way of life! 
[Edited 6/26/09 19:18pm] Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.” | |
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PunkMistress said: CarrieMpls said: Often people who suspect their partners of cheating are cheating themselves.
Just sayin’. Often people who are overly suspicious and always accusing their partners of cheating are cheating themselves. People who honestly suspect that their partners are cheating are usually right. are/of [Edited 6/26/09 13:31pm] You're right, I was playing devil's advocate. |
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CarrieMpls said: PunkMistress said: Often people who are overly suspicious and always accusing their partners of cheating are cheating themselves. People who honestly suspect that their partners are cheating are usually right. You're right, I was playing devil's advocate. Ah. | |
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PunkMistress said: CarrieMpls said: You're right, I was playing devil's advocate. Ah.  |
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Aelis said: I'm sorry you're going through this
Bad times will pass Thank you... | |
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emm said: pardonme4livin said: The plan is simple...make sure the kids are happy and that I don't get fucked over....she asked me to move out...I refused...I was told that there could be legal ramifications for me if I moved out...so I said hell nah!
I will not get screwed over on this....no ma'am.... have you seen a lawyer then? i know nothing about drawing up separation agreements. It will lead to two separate households eventually. Do you want to be the one to keep the house and kids? Do you want the house to be sold? Do you want the kids to move back and forth every other week? The ramifications, whether legal or not, suck. My brother in law kept the house and remortgaged to pay my sister out. He's found a really nice woman now though. Kids don't escape unscathed but now that they are grown and on their own they are doing much better.  No lawyers yet....but coming soon.. I AM keeping our Minnesota house and at least 2 kids... I know no one will be left unscarred...this has een boiling for at least 4 years now... | |
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Vendetta1 said: I am so sorry Ken. (Have you seen the pic of you and I yet?) | |
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Lammastide said: I'm honestly very sorry to hear all this.
Questions (Please take no offense... and feel free to tell me to @#$! off if I'm treading on sensitive ground): You have no interest in reconciling, but you also don't want your wife to "be" with anyone else? I'm of the mind she shouldn't be, but... is that not a little selfish of you? I generally champion reconciliation in these instances, but if there's no interest or hope of it, how is staying together in what sounds like an antagonistic environment helping either of you or the kids? [Edited 6/26/09 17:14pm] Selfish? I don't think so...she can be with whomever she wants...once she out of my house...that's all I require.... | |
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Lammastide said: Also, Ken, if things are as crappy as you suggest, what makes you think she won't come clean if you just come out and ask her? Does she have a reason to hide anything at this point?
Already asked her...many times....always denial.... | |
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pardonme4livin said: Lammastide said: I'm honestly very sorry to hear all this.
Questions (Please take no offense... and feel free to tell me to @#$! off if I'm treading on sensitive ground): You have no interest in reconciling, but you also don't want your wife to "be" with anyone else? I'm of the mind she shouldn't be, but... is that not a little selfish of you? I generally champion reconciliation in these instances, but if there's no interest or hope of it, how is staying together in what sounds like an antagonistic environment helping either of you or the kids? [Edited 6/26/09 17:14pm] Selfish? I don't think so...she can be with whomever she wants...once she out of my house...that's all I require.... So this is about waiting it out to see who leaves first... and forfeits possession of the house. Is that correct?
And if that's the priority, what does infidelity have to do with this? Are you simply thinking it'd give you a better case for custody if you have evidence she is cheating? [Edited 6/27/09 6:58am] Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.” | |
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Lammastide said: pardonme4livin said: Selfish? I don't think so...she can be with whomever she wants...once she out of my house...that's all I require.... So this is about waiting it out to see who leaves first... for possession of the house. Is that correct?okay...not that simple... She is leaving anyways...she doesn't want to live in Minnesota...doesn't want to be married to me and once she finishes her Master's program in the next year...she will move someplace else in the country...likely back to her childhood home which I own in Ohio. This house in Minnesota is not the issue....but legally, if I move out...there are legal ramifications for that including any back child or spousal support if awarded from the day I move out, even if we continued to share bank accounts and I was still there for the kids daily and paid for everything....the system is fucked up, and I sure as hell will not be back paying her for anything... I tough this out because legally I HAVE to... | |
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pardonme4livin said: Lammastide said: So this is about waiting it out to see who leaves first... for possession of the house. Is that correct?okay...not that simple... She is leaving anyways...she doesn't want to live in Minnesota...doesn't want to be married to me and once she finishes her Master's program in the next year...she will move someplace else in the country...likely back to her childhood home which I own in Ohio. This house in Minnesota is not the issue....but legally, if I move out...there are legal ramifications for that including any back child or spousal support if awarded from the day I move out, even if we continued to share bank accounts and I was still there for the kids daily and paid for everything....the system is fucked up, and I sure as hell will not be back paying her for anything... I tough this out because legally I HAVE to... Ahhh... the back child support I do understand. So the fidelity issue for you is simply a matter of principle, eh? I suppose I can understand that in some way. Question: How would things be different if, say, you DID have proof she was cheating? [Edited 6/27/09 7:02am] Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.” | |
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pardonme4livin said: Vendetta1 said: I am so sorry Ken. (Have you seen the pic of you and I yet?) Nope. | |
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If you really feel she's cheating then its usually the case. I'm sorry your going through this. I don't have any real advice except to be really meticulous and on top of your rights-the system is generally not in favor of the father. And most of all try to make it as painless as you can for your kids. My parents constantly cheated on each other while me and my sister was little until they decided to divorce. We were aware even though they didn't think that we were. And it has had an effect(affect?) on us. You can get through this with your wife. Just tread carefully and know your shit! | |
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kimrachell said: PaisleyPark5083 said: I have been married for 25 years, 26 years this August. I have never ever felt that my husband was cheating on me, he is as genuine as they come. God love him, his favorite time in life is when he is at home with the family. Saturday's he and I have our date night, and Sunday's are for spending time with the whole family, picnics, beach, laying out in the sun.
 
I am a very lucky woman indeed.  i'm lucky too! my husband is my soulmate!  | |
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pardonme4livin said: She is leaving anyways...she doesn't want to live in Minnesota...doesn't want to be married to me and once she finishes her Master's program in the next year...she will move someplace else in the country...likely back to her childhood home which I own in Ohio.
Oh crappity crap crap  I am assuming she will want the kids as I assumed you would too. Across the city is hard enough let alone across a few states.
I AM keeping our Minnesota house and at least 2 kids...
at least?  you hiding some other ones around that I don't know about?
. [Edited 6/27/09 8:56am]  She couldn't stop crying 'cause she knew he was gone to stay | |
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emm said: pardonme4livin said: She is leaving anyways...she doesn't want to live in Minnesota...doesn't want to be married to me and once she finishes her Master's program in the next year...she will move someplace else in the country...likely back to her childhood home which I own in Ohio.
Oh crappity crap crap I am assuming she will want the kids as I assumed you would to. Across the city is hard enough let alone across a few states.
I AM keeping our Minnesota house and at least 2 kids...
at least? you hiding some other ones around that I don't know about? this is what I was thinking. I think its very selfish of her to move so far. | |
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I am sorry .With a very special thank you to Tina: Is hammer already absolute, how much some people verändern...ICH hope is never so I will be! And if, then I hope that I would then have wen in my environment who joins me in the A.... | |
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emm said: pardonme4livin said: She is leaving anyways...she doesn't want to live in Minnesota...doesn't want to be married to me and once she finishes her Master's program in the next year...she will move someplace else in the country...likely back to her childhood home which I own in Ohio.
Oh crappity crap crap I am assuming she will want the kids as I assumed you would too. Across the city is hard enough let alone across a few states.
I AM keeping our Minnesota house and at least 2 kids...
at least? you hiding some other ones around that I don't know about?
. [Edited 6/27/09 8:56am] I have 3 kids...the youngest wants to be with his mom no matter what...the two oldest want to be with dad...
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Thanks for your support everyone....means a lot to me...I feel very isolated a lot of the time... | |
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pardonme4livin said: Thanks for your support everyone....means a lot to me...I feel very isolated a lot of the time...
'why y'all trying to say goodbye? I didn't go anywhere, I'm right here, im all around you,always..'
in a line from my dream, I heard a voice and saw a silhouette in a chair.. | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: pardonme4livin said: I loves you guys...
 here's the bonus part of the story. When I had that dream I was so shocked in it that I woke up in an instant and slammed my fist down on his chest while he was sleeping. He bolts up and is all scared and shit and I realized that I had just woken up from a dream and unfairly hit him so I closed my eyes real quick and started thrashing and mumbling. *shaking me* Babe! Babe! You're having a bad dream! mmn, mph, wh, wha, what? where am I!?! OMG Babe, it's just a dream oh my god, that was so scary I'm glad I got my licks in while I had the chance!  Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. | |
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