i was at my grandparent's house last night to celebrate father's day. everything was cool until my grandma got all weird and started asking us what possessions of theirs we wanted? and she started naming off all kinds of stuff like it was an auction. i didn't know how to respond, in fact i didn't. though she did have a couple of books that were over a 100 years old that my great grandma brought over on the boat from Germany that were really cool. i couldn't find it in myself to be like "OOOH I WANT THOSE, UM WHEN ARE YOU GONNA DIE AGAIN? YEAH WHEN YOU DO, LEAVE THOSE TO ME!"

how do you handle stuff like that?

Please advise.

Thanks,
SinP

Well you should say something more like "I'd be honored if I could receive those books." and not "OOOH I WANT THOSE, UM WHEN ARE YOU GONNA DIE AGAIN? YEAH WHEN YOU DO, LEAVE THOSE TO ME!"

I think she understands her time is limited and she wants her possessions to go to people she knows and not some random heap...

I think she just wanted everyone to receive special to remember her by. My Mom did that to me when she was only about 60 years old, she took me aside and showed me her jewelery she said she wanted to give me first pick (I have 2 sisters) I'll never forget that day, I was sad/mad that we had that conversation. 5 years later she passed away.

RenHoek said:

yeah, i could've worded it something like that, but, i guess i don't want to deal with the reality of it. i might write her a letter telling her which things i would be honered to inherit.

it just seems like she's wrapping things up and I DON'T LIKE THAT!

my mom does this to me periodically. i don't like it either.

but, when my dad did this years ago i played along and today, now that he's gone, i'm glad because those are things that he gave me personally

Tomorrow's not promised and I'm sure she's not planning on leaving anytime soon but this could avoid all kinds of family conflict later on.

Vendetta1 said:

well, i'll be sure to ask for her vibrator, so i can pass it on to you.

My mom told my sister and I that she had our names on the bottoms of everything in the house for when she died. I just said nothing.

weused2luvhim said:

I put my own name on the things I wanted from my grandma's apartment, but my auntie took them all

sinisterpentatonic said:

I have plenty, thanks.

Smart people Do make wills you know. While they're still healthy and in sound mind. she's right to start giving herself some peace of mind. It's just a fact of life.

Vendetta1 said:

Definitely. It makes much more sense to gift these items now rather than later. It makes settling estates easier and can avoid taxes on valuable items.

sinisterpentatonic said:

I'd say swallow your discomfort and speak up.

My father painted a picture that I thought was absolutely beautiful even when I was 5, usually he kept it hid away but he hung it again when I was a teen I wanted it badly, but knowing he wouldn't part with it, I wanted to tell him to leave it to me but thought it was a morbid subject to even bring up so I kept my mouth shut. My father died unexpectedly 16 yrs ago, as I was sorting through his things I found the painting...all cut up, he was planning to use it in another project, after 3 decades, he never got around to the project and pieces of the painting ended up missing. Now I have the pieces I found put away, but I'm heartbroken about not having that painting as a whole. I wish so deeply I'd have spoken up.

My grandparents never asked me what I wanted, but I still got what I wanted - my grandfarther's desk and cigar box and their christmas tree with different color electrical lights on it and some other christmas ornaments.

scififilmnerd said:

Scifi, here's your inheritance from me: