I'm pretty sure I know my answer to this question, but recently I had my resolve pushed to the breaking point...and beyond...and I did something I don't usually do and I read someone their pedigree in mixed company. I'm not saying that I took any delight in it, and in fact it just made me angrier that someone kept needling me until I got pushed to that point...but now, looking back on it, I don't know if it was a moment of weakness (I knew I wouldn't get through to this person or make them understand anything, so why bother?) or if it was a much-deserved moment of "you bet your sweet spanx I stood up for myself!" and I should be proud of the fact. :snapsnapsnap:

So what about you? Do you go confrontational every time someone says something inappropriate around you? Do you try to keep your calm because you don't want to get into it with people? Do you try to gently set people right? Does that backfire? When you pick your battles, where do you draw the line?

When's the last time someone pushed YOU to a place where you had to just plain break down the facts to them?

At work I have to continuously bite my tongue. There is a director in a different department who gossips a lot and seems to have it in for me. This man knows nothing about me. There were literally days when I wanted to punch him in the nose and THEN tell him to kiss my ass but that wouldn't go over well when the rent is due so I just pretend he doesn't exist

You read someone and aren't giving us details!?!? C'mon... you know better than that.

Lammastide said:

I've yet to see Chris really really angry but I'm sure its a mutha when it comes out

I will bite my tongue on most things... Lifes to short and most the time it's not worth it. Mess with my kids though and it's on
[Edited 4/27/09 20:02pm]

I am usually mellow.... yes I am .

Some people can rial me the fuck up more than others and I usually let my wicked sense of humour get in the way of my anger to them.

Sometimes I like to drive the nail well beyond to get my point across to them, the real idiotic ones that is.
[Edited 4/27/09 20:04pm]

It all depends. My best friend and I joke about how, not long ago, we both were ready to quit our jobs. On a day when we both were really feeling it, national headlines said U.S. unemployment had just hit a 25-year high.

But we both will read people, if pushed there. I'm less inclined in my latter years -- I've mellowed considerably since my 20s, when I was a little hothead.

The last time I was in that position, I prayed and quoted Scripture for weeks and the person who was making my life hell disappeared in disgrace. To that end, I'm letting God fight my battles, these days.

I'm usually look pretty calm and cool but when I go I simply blowup on people because I've bottled it all up inside. I need to work on that
[Edited 4/28/09 8:40am]

heybaby said:

i don't want to go into too many details. let's just say i've had to deal with someone who, for the past couple of years, has been very vocal about their socio-political views. and let's just say their political aesthetic runs a few inches to the right of archie bunker.

and for the past couple of years, i've kept my mouth shut, because i really haven't wanted to engage with this person about politics or social issues, because i knew i had nothing to say which could change this person, and i've already heard enough of their ignorant point of view to know they would NEVER be changing me.

but last week, they finally wore me down. in the middle of a "harmless" discussion, they slipped some prejudiced BS in the conversation and i finally let them have it. really, i just stated my opinion as calmly and as gently as i could, but that started to escalate, and it just got worse and worse until the reading of the beads was forced to happen.

i'm kind of like threadbare. i tend to prefer letting powers greater than myself take care of people who need to have lessons taught to them. god/fate/The Way/whatever you want to call it, that force in life does a better job of kicking people in the ass than i ever could.

still, though...sometimes it just feels like people want to corner you and force you down to their level. it's a disgusting feeling. it's a kind of violation as far as i'm concerned.

Anxiety said:

No.


Yes.


When I have the energy.


It can, when it's met with nonsense.


When your shit starts infringing on my shit? You better watch yo' shit.


A few weeks ago. But I've gotten a lot better at remembering that anger is a waste of energy and rarely accomplishes its goal. That said, I'm human and - if you push your luck - I'll toss you a brush-back or two.

Anxiety said:

Man, i hear you. Especially when you feel like they're trying to do it out of
sport. Ugh. And, in my situation, I found a moment to speak my piece but I didn't say it the way I wanted to. The way that would've felt good.

ThreadBare said:

I hate when I do that

Anxiety said:

You know Miss California?!

Ace said:

actually, the argument started because of that ho.

ThreadBare said:

that's exactly what i felt was going on, and i HATE that with a passion. i don't enjoy debating for the sport of it. i enjoy debating if both people are working toward a common ground (even if we're calling BS on each other every step of the way), but if someone's bickering just for the enjoyment of hearing their own voice, or to sharpen their claws on my brain, screw that. plus, that kind of attitude cheapens my respect for their views. do they really believe what they say or are they just trying to be all, "oooh, controversial and IN YOUR FACE"???

i mean, you know, if you've stated something you passionately believe, and i've stated that i believe 100% the opposite of you, and it's clear we've thought about our beliefs, then it's time to agree to disagree and move on. NOT THAT DIFFICULT.

Anxiety said:

First off, I love you!! It has been a long time since I've heard anyone outside of New Orleans use the phrase "read someone their pedigree"...

Secondly (and more on point), it's difficult these days for me to draw the line because in my unit, I'm known as the PC police (I'm an EO advisor)...so when I hear inappropriate shit being said, I pounce like a toyger (said with hard cockney accent)...but I know that I have to temper it with regulations and laws rather than with my confrontational nature...

reneGade20 said:

My grandma used to say it, and for the longest time I didn't know what she was talking about. When the light bulb finally went on in my head and I finally "got it", I thought the saying was nothing short of genius.

Anxiety said:

It is a great saying.....but nothing beats the facial reaction of the person whose pedigree just got read...because I swear they probably don't know the saying, but they without a doubt understand that's what just happened....

i think part of it is, i don't know how to spar. i pull hair and kick groins and i poke out eyes. i don't like to "play fight". i'm the same way with verbal sparring. don't pretend to be taking me somewhere deep and dark just for your own jollies, because I WILL say something you probably won't like. it's different if it's just being silly and teasing and goofy...but even then there's a certain level of trust implied. i just don't have the ability to play with things that i consider to be delicate and closely held. those things aren't toys.

people here in USA let it all out baby

ZombieKitten said:

Are you on your way???

Anxiety said:

My wife likes to refer to what you described as either "losing her religion" or "letting her color come out"...

in either case, it's not cool to be the target....and GAWD KNOWS I've incurred her wrath with my lack of sense sometimes...

I usually don't bother - and I usually have no interest in battles - I mean SERIOUSLY zero interest in it

And even if something does spark me, I normally choose to ignore it because I just don't choose to invest like I seriously don't care much what other people spew outta their mouths ...



NOW - say something about my child - maybe a different story

My husband and I don't go the heated debate route in making our points so I really have zero desire to go there with anyone


Now, YRS ago, before my rebirth move to the south ...

oh HELL YES it was on every damn chance I felt it needed THAT was exausting

for me it would be much easier to just physically beat a bitch down then waste words on them ...

Mach said:

you seem so cool and calm but I can see you doing this

heybaby said:

erm. didn't he punch someone in the head last summer?

just sayin'.

heybaby said:

may be cuz I have




long ago ...

CarrieMpls said:

i was merely acting in self defense.

Anxiety said:

I know!
I was shoving and swearing myself.