Imago said:

Do you think that would be different if you met “the one”, or now that you're older and presumably more mature (and not changing as rapidly as you did at that age)? Or do you think you’re just not wired that way – that you can’t sustain a relationship that isn’t there day-in, day-out?

I don't think you ever get over it all the way. Maybe you heal but there are scars, and maybe it aches on a rainy day.

As for the question at hand, it can take me a year or more to truly get over someone – and by that I mean get to the point where it no longer hurts like hell to think about losing them.
And as others have said, it’s still sorta there, you never REALLY get over it, you just don’t bother to think about/cry over/wallow in it anymore.

And like Dan, I’ve learned I can’t “be friends”. Not right away, anyway. It’s simply too difficult, too painful and really leads to dragging out the process, rather than trying to move on.

NDRU said:

That's beautiful, but for me, I can honestly say that I am completely over the loves I had before I met Chris. No aches, no pains, rain or shine.

PunkMistress said:

what about scars?

I'm definitely mostly over them. It doesn't hold me back or anything. But I think once I love someone I will always love them. I just learn to live without them. Kinda like drugs.

ocean said:

There is no equation for getting over a lost love. It took me at least five years to get over this one ex. If you're REALLY hurting over a broken heart, pick up the book "How To Survive the Loss of A Love" or "Exorcising Your Ex" (which is aimed entirely at women).

And I think it's okay and normal to wistfully wonder how an ex-lover is doing. Hell, I still think softly of my first girlfriend from high school...and that was 15 years ago.

ocean said:

there were only 6 of course I remember!

CarrieMpls said:

I could sustain a relationship now forever once I commit.
But I wouldn't go more than a few days without some type of contact.
Being away from a person, depending on the circumstances and surroundings
causes people to drift. And if the person is undisciplined to begin with,
(and that's most people), it's a recipe for disaster.
Hollywood actors and actresses aren't any more impulsive than the rest
of us--they just spend much more time away from each other, in intensive
work arrangements with other people. You just drift.
And I venture to say that the vast majority of people are impulsive,
not looking past the current situation or their current environment.
They don't see the bigger picture. So they drift when they're immersed
in anything but the relationship. Hell, I know girls who could go on
long camping trips and fall out of love

It's not about a person being bad or good. It just happens that way.
But yeah, I think I could do it so long as it's traveling for periods
of time away on business, and not a long distance relationship situation.

One thing is for sure. If they other person's day-in/day-out involves
hitting the clubs and hanging out with single friends, while you're
separated by distance, run like the fucking wind.

CarrieMpls said:

I don't claim the way I do it is healthy by any means. But it's the way I do it. I'd rather pour my friendship and love to the person I'm currently seeing honestly. And if I'm not seeing anyone , I'd rather work on me.

2 of my previous lovers are now friends with me, and I hear stories of who they're dating, etc. etc. But that's from years and years ago, and to be honest, I don't think of or care for them even as friends on any level near what I do for my current relationships.

I'm fascinated by folks who break up and maintain contact almost immediately. Did they even love each other? This isn't an insult. I genuinely am fascinated by it.

Imago said:

Yeah, I'm not saying it's good or bad. I think it's awesome when people recognize their patterns and such. Just interested if it's something that has changed about you over time, would be different if it were the right person, or if you thought that's just the way you are altogether.

CarrieMpls said:

It would change with the right person.
But you always think your current partner is the right person up until a certain point.

Imago said:

Yeah, the next one!



.
[Edited 6/10/09 17:22pm]

Muse2NoPharaoh said:

ocean said:

Honey, I'm still there for you. I'm still waiting. Don't try getting over me just yet. I know I can make you happy and be happy with you by my side. Your ocean makes my feelings float.

Dave1992 said:

lawd, after those last 2 photos you posted to myspace, it's a wonder why the Internet hasn't shut down.

Imago said:

You mean the nude pics of Simon and myself? I had to remove them!

Imago said:

I was speaking more for myself silly!

Dave1992 said:

Where they nude?

They were tiny thumbnail updates or something on the panel or something. I originally thought you were my friend Dave from Tampa, whose married with children. , but his myspace name is bigdaddy.

You're going to destroy myspace faster than I destroy the org.

Muse2NoPharaoh said:

oh.

NDRU said:

awwwww so true

Imago said:

But God knooooowwwwwsssss it could have been you!

depends on the situation someone may always be speical even if it didnt work out.and others its like "what was i thinkin i must have been lonely as hell"

Depends on who and reasons why. In my experience I've gotten over someone before the break up occurred and others, a lot longer. Yah time does help but in the moments after a painful breakup it seems to be my worst enemy. I've found moving on after a serious one is the toughest thing to do cause it was not just about getting over the relationship and the hurt, pain, betrayal (and all the baggage that a relationship brings) but also picking up the pieces of my life and falling in love with life again. Discovering myself along a new path and furthering my journey whilst dealing with undeniable emotions was challenging, but with the support of those around me I was doing okay.

Dave1992 said:

well if ur sharing pics with Dan its over

ocean said:

Nooooo, I would never show that bastard anything that belongs to you and only you!

And I'm talking about more than just pictures.

Christopher said:

Dave1992 said:

They were gone pretty fast

PanthaGirl said:

"Honey, I know, I know, I know times are changin'
It's time we all reach out for something new, that means you too..."