Uhope said:

I just wish they'd had products like this when I was a kid; natural, curly hair was not de riguer. Afro Sheen just really didn't cut it . . .

I have thick, frizzy, curly hair which ends up being dry. I cannot use a comb they end up breaking.

I will give some of these products a try.

no mo'!

the best thing for brianna's hair is the nexus conditioner, it starts with an "H"... after we wash and condition, and she gets out of the bath/shower, i put a very small amount of that in her hair and then dont wash it out until the next time we wash her hair, which is about every 3-4 sometimes 5 days depending on the season (obviously more in the summer than the winter). i read up there when it was said that it would cause all kinds of scalp problems - this has never been the case with bri and we have been doing this now for about 2 years again, its not a lot, maybe the size of a dime or so.... it helps to keep the moisture in and seems to keep the frizz down. i have a head full of naturally curly hair + her african american hair - i was in your shoes a few years ago... the nexus stuff made all the difference for us, btw, i use it in my hair the same way


its gonna be ok momma you'll find the right combination, everyone's hair is different.

oh, to style bri's hair i use either a spray gel, nothing special - just the regular ol' white folks hair gel, and some defining curl stuff, comes in a small short jar, its something i bought when we were getting our hair cut, actually, thats what jake uses too - why do i keep thinking palm aid? thats not it lol... shit, i dont know, i'll go get the stuff tomorrow and tell you the names if you want me too

anyways, good luck and congrats on the new baby


i forgot to add, brianna's hair is very light, but thick as hell, ringlet curls, and will frizz with the quickness lol...



[Edited 6/9/09 0:18am]

PLEASE don't put chemicals in a 6 year olds head You'll learn how to manage her hair. & for God's sake don't act like you're "SO" frustrated w/ her texture - if she's already wishing for hair like yours she'll probably get an unshakable complex about it. Be supportive. Her hair may take more "work", but it's beautiful hair too & she needs to know that

CalhounSq said:

Not that I know much, but my hair I always condition as well as shampoo and thats better than 2 in 1. I have this kinky ass hair, its ok to 2 inches and then it curls up (I have to aff' that shit out at times). Cutting it is a nightmare, my afro fuzz has damaged many a pair of clippers (Polynesians have wavy hair)

nakedpianoplayer said:

Humectrics

like i said before, have you been trying to use hair oil or hair food on her hair when you're not washing it?

IAintTheOne said:

yes, thats the one, thanks...lord i was tired last night

seriously, dont chemically treat her hair, my adopted daughters mother did that to my daughters hair when she was like 10 i think she made it much easier to care for, but she seriously fucked up her hair, for real.

Thanks for all the comments, everything helps! We never ever used a brush on her at all, we always use a strong plastic wide tooth comb and pick. My mom has been using this hair combing device she got at the Dollar General Store 3 years ago. It is this long thing with teeth on the end that vibrates when you turn it on. You comb it thru the child's hair and it is supposed to comb it with ease and detangle it. You do it section at a time. She loves it and only uses it on the wash/cond./comb days. I tried it twice and I prefer to use my wide tooth comb. This device can be used on any hair for anyone and it does do a good job, just have to always keep it charged up.

I did get this at WalMart last night: LOUANA COCONUT OIL 100% PURE NATURAL in the cooking oil section. It's a huge jar for $6, doesn't have a smell, and was in pure form but started to melt at room temp. when I got it home and set it on the counter for awhile. Before I went to bed I got some out and rubbed into my hands then put my cotton gloves on and left it overnight. This morning my hands felt good like they do when I use the vaseline treatment on them. I may use this on my whole body and I hope this prevents stretch marks! Does anyone know? I know they always suggest Coco Butter Lotion to prevent and treat them. I may rub this on my tummy everynight because at 105 pounds, my belly does do a lot of growing for the baby. I hope this is the right stuff, I just need to know when the best time to use it, at a solid form or let it melt a little, maybe liquid? Right now I have it in the fridge. but tonight is her hair night. Should I do wash/rinse/cond./comb/rinse then when it is still wet, put the coconut oil all in her hair and scalp too and rub it in and leave it? I guess in the morning I will put some more in before she goes to school. Her hair is sooooo thick, would I need a lot for her scalp and hair? She never gets any flakes, dandruff or itchiness so I believe her head can handle this .

Also, her dad has a 10 year daughter from his wife and her hair is straight and silky. It always was since I seen her when she was about 4. I asked her mom if she had ever did anything to her hair to make it like that and she said no. So I took it as no relaxer or straightner and such. It is the same color as my daughter's but that's it. How can my daughter and her half-sister have such different opposite hair, coming from the same dad? Her hair has never looked like my daughter's hair. The dad has good hair, it is short to the scalp and curly.

If I do the salon consulatation about the relaxer, I will report back on what they say. A few salons offer it but do not have much experiece in mixed or AA hair since this is a majorly white community. I probably will hear what they say then go from there. I don't want to have to keep going back to the salon every few months because I can't afford that right now. I'm a low maintenance hair person myself but I like it that way. If I don't want to go ahead with it, maybe when she is older much later we can check back into it. I don't say negative things to her about her hair, I tell her her hair is special and she has special needs hair that has to have a lot of love and attention to care for it. I know she didn't ask for that hair type but I knew the situation when I conceived her that anything was possible with her hair and as long as she was healthy, her hair would be the least of my worries. She sure does stand out, and she and the other kids know she is different. I just never want it to be an issue of name calling or making fun of because kids can be so mean, especially when you don't look like they do .

DaVanity said:

I gotta break it down about relaxers.....


Look, it not the relaxer that will fuck up her hair. Its the maintenance after. Most people DO NOT know how to properly maintain relaxed hair and fuck up heir heads with weave and fake hair and melt the shit outta the cuticle because a bitch is too lazy to stay under a hot ass dryer with rollers that pull the shit outta your scalp as the hair dries causing a migraine. so instead they blow dry and use hot irons and then they say "My hair won't grow" well, that;s cause your dumbass is melting the shit outta your hair because your stylist doesn't know how to properly blow out a rollerset so that it looks sleek and stays that way.

So your hair dresser wants your money, doesn't give a F about keeping your hair healthy, this is why your hair feels dry when you leave the salon instead of silky soft.

And do NOT get me started in on the women who actually think they can do home relaxers.

OK rant over.

The formulations in relaxers have come a long way, and you can grow your hair very long with a relaxer... no matter how nappy the hair is.

the real deal is that rollersets take a loonnnnggg time to dry and your daughter's hair WILL look like silk, but 3-4 hours under a hair dryer once a week may not be worth the tears. She's just too young for that type of torture.
Don't do that to her.

PLEASE DO NOT RELAX HER HAIR


It probably is not necessary. Because she is young, it wouldn't be smart to relax her hair. It doesn't sound like her hair is nappy, so don't bother. You just need to use the proper products

There is a great product called APHOGEE. Please invest! It is for extremely dry and damaged hair. It is a reconstructing shampoo. I suggest this BIG TIME! Also, buy some CHI Silk Infusion. It's great for using prior to applying heat to the hair. Any shampoo that you use should be moisturizing...this is CRUCIAL! You can also try Neutrogena's Triple Moisture Shampoo and Conditioner. If her hair is not fine, it should work great for her. It tends to weigh fine hair down, but it's a great product.

If you want her hair to be straight, I would suggest a "WARM" pressing comb...it's better than using chemicals. If you can get your hands on a salon "dome" dryer, it will work wonders. You can use deep conditioning treatments on her hair and have her sit under the dryer. Plus, these dryers are better for hair than a hand held dryer. Those really FRY the hair If you want her to wear it curly, Got2b makes great products for curly hair, so does Beyond the Zone. I personally use them and they are great!

Try to roller her hair at night, or braid it and wrap it up. DO NOT ALLOW HER TO SLEEP ON HER HAIR!!! THIS IS A NO-NO FOR BLACK HAIR!!!!! Please buy a silk scarf for her

Olive Oil, Carrot Oil...tends to be greasy...and Coconut Oil are all great for the hair, but do not grease her scalp! It's cloggs the pores in the scalp. Just add some to the hair, especially the ends.

Lastly, do not use rubberbands....duh.. and keep her ends trimmed. I have known some of my white friends to not trim their ends for a year or 2, but black hair cannot do this This will look horrid and awful and her hair will break off severely.

Good luck

Smooches;)

MsMisha319 said:

She bought the REAL coconut oil, not that crap fake stuff that smells like coconuts. The real coconut oil (the edible one) is great for the scalp. Her scalp skin and hair will do great with that oil. I'm shocked you don't use it yourself.

The advice you give is great but she isn't ready for hot combs yet. In time though I recommend that, she may be ready for hot pressing when her daughter becomes a tween.

paintedlady said:

I disagree. I never said HOT comb, I specifically said WARM. There is a huge difference. If you do it right, there won't be any problems. It doesn't matter what the age of the child is. As long as excessive heat isn't used often, it shouldn't be a problem. Also, you have to use a heat protectant....like the wonderful CHI

As far as coconut oil, I did say that it is great for your hair, but NOTHING is supposed to completely cover the scalp...not coconut oil or anything else This will CLOG the scalp and stunt hair growth...not to mention the dirt and dandruff you will see on the scalp. It's a bad move.


Greasing the scalp is so old school, I didn't know people still did it

Smooches;)

MsMisha319 said:

She needs a oil for her daughters hair. Not to press it, just to keep it from breaking and too dry. She is trying shampoos. Until she finds the right ones, she will need the oil. Some of the shampoos you mention are great. This is not the coconut oil you use. Again, its the edible kind, and it will not clog scalp pores. Not the crap sold in black beauty supply places, that is only dressed up mineral oil. Natural olive oil is gross, and should not be used on the hair. It ferments too quickly.


I know all about pressing hair, I don't use any product in mines when I press it.
But she doesn't know ANYTHING about pressing hair. Its all Greek to her. So warm/hot is a relative term. Its like trying to teach a baby to eat steak.

She should not press her daughters hair until she is taught to, she will burn the hair if she tries with out proper training.

Again I am not speaking of grease. All hair products use a bit of natural oils in order to moisturize the hair. In the salon, the best conditioners are the natural ones. The new product line Wen, is a great product that uses these oils in order to get the hair in proper condition.

Pressing her baby's hair will rob the hair of elasticity.
This is a bad move. The culticle will melt at 130 degrees Fahrenheit, hot combs do not have thermostats on them for her to learn how to regulate the proper amount of heat for her hair. A blow dryer is easier to regulate since she is familiar with that for now.

I never told her to "grease her scalp", no one is promoting the use of any type of grease.
the oil liquefies upon being handled and will be place on the hair shaft mostly, only a small amount will do.

paintedlady said:

You don't use a heat protectant? Can you say "Breakage" and loss of elasticity

If she has taken her daughter to a salon, they can teach and school her on the pressing comb. It won't ruin the elasticity of the hair, as long as the comb isn't super hot It would be better for her to do this than to relax her hair. And a hot blow dryer can be just as damaging as a hot comb...if not worse. I very rarely use them, unless I'm blowing out my roots.

Anyway, good luck to you with your daughters hair, DaVanity! There are tons of products out there to help her hair. Some are great, some, not so much Just remember to moisturize, deep condition as needed, trim and use as little chemical and heat as possible. Also, PLEASE, buy her a silk scarf and wrap her hair at night. It will save her from breakage.

Oh, and don't wash her hair too often. Black hair doesn't need to be washed as often as others. Sometimes, you can "no-poo" That means you just wet and condition, no shampoo. Shampoo can be soooo drying


Smooches;)

One last thing... water.

The ph of water is IMPORTANT. If your water is alkaline then the hair will be brittle no matter what you do with it. The hair will always be dry and frizzy.
But if our water is soft then you're golden.

The chemistry of all hair, straight or curly is based on ph.

Any shampoo that can restore ph to a neutral level is always best. Try using a shampoo that's neutral ( level 7) on the ph scale or slightly acidic. Always use a moisturizing shampoo for relaxed/damaged hair because its rich in the emollients that her hair will need. Always rinse her scalp clean and free of any conditioner and shampoo.



I love tons of stuff, you'll find the right stuff for you. But in the end my tried and true is the old school stuff (coconut oil) is the best I've tried, go figure

Olive Lee Benson said so herself... google her, she taught me well.


Sometimes keeping it simple is best until proper consultation is had by a professional ONLY. Yes, take her to a salon that specializes in hair CARE.

MsMisha319 said:

anything hot over 130 degrees will melt down the cuticle thereby robbing the hair of elasticity. This can be a blow dryer or Marcel/ceramic irons, .... and the natural oil I mentioned is better than any polymer/oil combo used on the hair shaft as a protectant. It acts as a natural barrier. But if you style properly, no product should be used, it would only hamper the natural sheen of the hair to be seen. Only after. Most stylists don't gunk up the hair with product before styling it. There really is no need, but this is in a salon.

At home she should, and just dry her baby's hair to dry it, not straighten it.
Can't have baby girl getting sick from sporting a damp head, especially in the cold.

DaVanity said:

OMG i have been going thru the same thing with my daughter's hair. She had the same type of hair when born, then it fell out and grew back brown/blond and spiral curls. It is pretty and she gets lots of compliments but it IS a lot of work.
I feel for you.

I have found Mixed Chicks leave in condition the best for her hair.

If you follow the directions, the curls will last at leasy 3 - 4 days.
Also conditon wash it instead of shampoo. You are only wetting and freshening the hair. You can do the smae with condtion wash.

The Mixed Chicks leave in condition does not dry hard or crunchy. The hair is soft and curly, shiny with lots of flow. And the curls last all day. Then at night, you can pull hair up in loose pony tail, in the morning just let it down. If you have frizzy sections, just a quick spray and you are on your way.

I tried the products for AA (I am AA) but I found her hair felt hard, and greasy. I tried things for white hair, itmade the hair was hard and crunchy. Mixed Chicks really works best. It is like a "creamy" gel or a lotion gel.


Google "Mixed Chicks" and you will see you tube videos of how to apply products. It is a little $$ but even DH said, wow, her hair looks good. BTW my girl is 9.

here is a picture of her hair:


[Edited 6/10/09 19:07pm]
[Edited 6/11/09 21:53pm]

SCNDLS said:

I love her hair. How do you get it straight like that and how long does it take to process and how long does it last?

MsMisha319 said:

Still do.
And swear by it.

sammij said:

Some peoples scalps need it, some don't. wtf does "old school" have to do w/ anything?? I still do, I guess I'm old school

I don't want to contradict anyone here, everyone has great advice.

I just want Davanity to NOT try to straighten her daughters hair UNTIL she learns how by a professional.

I use a natural oil on my scalp and hair and my hair is like silk. And every hair of curly hair (from a loose curl to a tight curl[or nap]) will benefit from it, but yes, fake greasy products filled with mineral oil will clog pores, so be careful what you use.

Do not be fooled by name brands "Natural" or "Organic" unless it is actually a pure oil and please read labels for ingredients. Even the best hair care lines have crappy styling products. Like Mizani (I actually HATE their conditioner it sucks)

I agree with Nakked, Humetrics line is one of the best lines.... its been around for 20+ years and its still one of the best shampoos out there.

I love the Bed Head moisture Maniac! (the fragrance alone )

I use Dove (in the dark blue bottle) Pantene (the relaxed hair line) and those are all easy to find in regular grocery stores.

The professional lines are great, some are pricey but you can not go wrong with
Aveda, Aphogee, Redkin, Affirm, and many others.

....
[Edited 6/11/09 11:24am]

CalhounSq said:

What I meant by old school is that my Grandmother grew up greasing her scalp and so did my mom. My mom greased my scalp as I child, but I put a stop to it when I was old enough to say something about it. In my opinion...and it's only my opinion...greasing the scalp is very bad. Clogs the pores and causes so much dirt buildup. I don't know any stylist that would suggest the greasing of a scalp. I agree with PaintedLady that Coconut Oil is great for your hair, but I don't believe that any type of grease should be used on the scalp. Natural oil is very different and very beneficial.

Also, another great product line, PaintedLady, is KeraCare. I love their products! They have a great line for dry and itchy scalps.

My hair is naturally curly, though I normally straighten with a warm pressing comb. I agree that she needs to be taught the proper way to use the pressing comb, if she goes that route, because I burned many a hairs trying to teach myself at 11 years old


Smooches;)

Both my sisters have bi-racial children but luckily they were boys so they just keep their hair cut real low. All four boys seem to have different texture of hair though. When they had a little length to their hair, a small amount of the Luster's pink oil moisturizer did wonders for one of the boy's hair and really brought those curls out. It didn't work so good on the other boys hair though. Thank God, they had boys instead of girls because one of my sisters can't even do nothing with her own hair. She looks like a white Chaka Khan.

Good luck.