Let me start this thread off by saying that I love my nephews. They're fun, sweet, and very entertaining. At one point in my life, they were my best friends. I would do anything for them.

That being said, they are also loud, insanely bratty, and wild. Did I also mention, loud?

I'm on holiday with my sister's family in Germany.

My sister and brother-in-law seem completely defeated by my nephews. One nephew is 10 and the other 9, and neither of them have any chores. They don't even clean their rooms, despite having been told at least 5 times since I've been here (I've been here all month). Sure, they do their homework, and they get straight A's and B's, but part of growing up is being given more responsibility isn't it? My sister seems to think the solution is to sign them up for baseball, music practice, and after-school activities.

I think she needs to make out a check-list of things these kids must do every single day before they can go out and play.

It's the little things that shock me. For instance, one of the kids, if left to his own devices will eat only meat at the dinner table. When he's forced to eat veggies, my sister only requires that he select one veggie from what's on the table... Usually he'll pick a slice of tomato . That's one small tomato and a large portion of meat. And they wonder why he has stomach aches.

The loudness is like a cyclone in the house, to the point that my sister can't finish a sentence some days, my brother-in-law just withdraws into his work, and the kids are left being able to do whatever they want.

It's gotten so insane that some days I leave the house and hang out in the city and the go clubbing and don't come back until just before they wakeup to start their days. I went 3 days without seeing any of them just to have my piece and quiet.


My sister is trying to strike a balance between things they must do to become productive adults and ensuring they are "themselves". And in some respects, I appreciate that. They have no fear of adults, nor of expressing their own opinions. When adults tell kids thier usual fibs or lies (And all adults seem to lie to kids about EVERYTHING to simplify the conversation or avoid going into full length details), these kids have no issues saying "explain that, because you're making no sense"
But on the other hand, when you aren't required to wash dishes, mow the lawn, wash the cars, clean your room, help with laundry---NOTHING... I think that's just sad.

I honestly think having children has turned my sis insane.



How do you parents out their cope with the stress? What kind of regimen do you have your children on or plan to have? How do you stay sane?

I'm like you Dan no kids yet. I guess we should truly cherrish the sanity we still have cuz kids seem to be a handful. At work I see customers come in and shop with kids daily. Some have good manners and seem pleasant but some just run a muck and I tend to wonder if that was my kid I'd ..... regardless of it all my wack ass still sees all of this and contemplates the thought of when will I have kids.
[Edited 4/23/09 23:11pm]

Im not sure I am sane....but I've never loved anyone like I do my kids .....
I know the day will come when the house will be silent ...and I know I will hate every second of it

My kids have to clean their room.....they also have household chores - taking the rubbish out, loading and unloading the dishwasher...homework before going out to play .....And they have to eat what their given ....Tyryn doesn't like tomatoes and seafood and thats fine..I don't see the point in forcing him to eat some that makes him gag lol ..as long as he eats plenty of other healthy foods...
I also think if they are kept busy ..they stay out of trouble ...my two have dancing about 8 hours a week..then Tay does art for a couple of hours on a wed afternoon and Ty does drums.....
When their home ..they eithier have homework or are dying to be outside....

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[Edited 4/24/09 1:53am]

I wonder that too. That's why I don't think I ever want any. I barely feel sane now....solo.

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[Edited 4/24/09 1:54am]

shanti0608 said:

shanti0608 said:

I am patient

After having kids, folks just let themselves completely go....

Imago said:

At least muffy has lipstick on.

shanti0608 said:

PEJ said:

At this point I'm resigned to thinking I'm too old to start.


Sorry folks, if I seem 'ocean' nosy about this issue--it's just that I wonder sometimes if my sis is going about it the right way.

My kids are 3 and 4. They keep each other entertained most of the time and get along great.... and so far, they are very well behaved.

That said, I do have days when I could kill the both of them

I always make sure I have something planned to look forward to (a weekend away with friends or an evening out with my husband). It always helps when i'm having a stressy day.

.... and a glass of wine when they've gone to bed is always good.

Imago said:

U know there are days when u feel like ure loosing it when u have kids But there arent really many of those days compared to the rest of the time and u know I can't complain too much..
My three have all been fairly well behaved (if not a bit spolied) children so far. My daughter dosent eat fruit and hasnt done since she was 2 years old and much like ocean Im not forcing her to eat something that makes her gag because I feel the same way about mushrooms and none of my children eat red meat...but that's probably because I dont ( I have a food intolerance for it)
I will admit that they dont have set chores per se partially because Im very fussy about the way my house is cleaned But they do chores when told to (admittedly with a bit of complaint because the younger two are 7 and 8) and my daughter even did a ton of extra things around the house when she wanted to save up to buy a mobile phone because I refused to buy her one outright I told her she had to save her pocket money
I don't think I have ever dumbed anything down for my kids although sometimes u do have to explain stuff in more laymans terms because lets face it they are only children after all
They have discipline and believe u me they know that if mum raises her voice she means business!!!

The funny thing is only a few days ago I was saying to someone I have thought back to when I had no children and I often wonder what the Heck I did with my time back then Because when I have a day without the children while they are at school my husband is at work and Im not at school or work myself I get all my housework done maybe do some shopping and have to find things to do for the rest of the day because Im damn bored
They keep me entertained they make me laugh they make me cry and u know I don't think I have ever felt so much unconditional love as I have that passes between me and my children.

Imago said:

I think ure sister need Dr Phil My sister has 7 and I cant even talk to her on the phone because she spends more than half the conversation screeching at them so that Im near deaf on the other end of the line and last year my sisters 5yo burned her house to the ground...Geez...we need to call him for BOTH of them

chillichocaholic said:

Ahhhh good to know they are not all brats.


And Dan, if you are too old to start then that makes me WAYYYY too old to be starting this.

Wow




We don't do loud or bratty here - started those rules off very young !
Tiny kids grow into big kids that turn to teens and almost adults before they leave a home. I saw/had/knew that vision.

Kids need rules - boundries and punishments

I NEED quiet respect productive children

YES they played and sometimes did get loud but I would consistantly remind them starting from the time they could walk/talk

The had chores since they could pick up toys -
then to helping set table- feding pets- washing dishes- helping cook and so on

They must do chores everyweekend to use the cars and to help keep the home THEY live in running smoothly

They got lectures and punishments - sometimes very strict ones

I dunno how some people do it - with the rowdy disrespectful kids ... I sometimes have to leave a place when there are brats aroundand that includes my friends homes

^ I haven't had my coffee so I am not going to edit all my typos damnit !

Who's sane?

ocean said:

I have only 18 more months with our last one at home before she goes away to college

with each one of the first threes departure, the home grew more quiet ...


yeah ~ enjoy every moment- comes fast ya know

Vendetta1 said:

I was INSANE before I even married

raising 4 kids had little impact

Imago said:

This is how they do.

Vendetta1 said:

Thank you.

I think my daughter put alot of order in my chaotic life, I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm not saying that parenthood is for everybody though, but I'm saying folks put themselves waaaay too lightly when it comes to parenting skills. You never know.

And I noticed something, the ones who ALWAYS ?uestion themselves to be suitable parents, are always the ones who try their hardest for their kids when they finally become "parents".

Mach said:

I did before I had my coffee

i bet its a phase. when they want the keys to the car or want to start going to events outside of the home and on their own, i bet their attitude changes quick.

This is why I can't spend extended periods of time with my brother's family. The longest I've done is a 3-day weekend at a cabin last summer and I freaked out on them the second night cause the kids were jumping on the beds at 11 at night when I was trying to go to sleep.

CarrieMpls said:

I've gone ape shit crazy on my own flesh and blood for less

discipline. kids need firm guidelines that are consistently enforced.