today is the day my lil sister walks the 39.5 mile walk for cancer in memory of my older sister who lost her battle with cancer a year and a half ago

she walks more than 1/2 today and then sleeps in a tent somewhere, not sure about that whole part, but they finish up tomorrow...


i want to text her jokes along the way, but frankly, im not in a very happy mood, this whole thing is making me very sad - i just never thought that my sister would be gone, ya know?


anyway if you know any short jokes that i can send her to bring some laughter to her, i'd appreciate if you could share them here.... thanks

nakedpianoplayer said:

I am a short joke

IAintTheOne said:

oh lord

thats not really what i meant silly

nakedpianoplayer said:

What did the ghost say to the bee?


Boo bee

I know it's dumb but I laughed hysterically when my 7 year nephew told it to me years ago.

JuliePurplehead said:

lol, that is very funny...wanna hear something even more funny and totally crazy? she's walking in the breast cancer walk



lol...

I wanted Mom and I to walk this year since this year's her 25th anniversary
she's not quite up to it and it's kind of a yucky day to be outside though.


here we go.....

Never let a man's mind wander, it's too little to be out on it's own!!!!

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

A scientist crossed a skunk with an owl. He's got a bird that smells but doesn't give a hoot.

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $5.95 per minute.

A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

Why do farts smell? For benefit of the deaf.

emm said:

Assassins do it from behind.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect it back.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?

What's the speed of dark?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Energizer Bunny was arrested and charged with battery.

Signs You've Had Too Much Coffee...
You don't sweat, you percolate.
You don't tan, you roast.
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
Instant coffee takes too long.
Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
When someone asks 'how are you' you say, 'good to the last drop'.
You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
You help your dog chase its tail.
You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

emm said:

these are funny emm

thanks sweetie!! and 's for you and momma happy anniversary to BOTH of you!!!

nakedpianoplayer said:

just visited someone this morning that had breast cancer two years ago... they took out a cancerous kidney yesterday.

emm said:

im gonna be real honest right now...


i FUCKING HATE cancer


i hope that person gets to feeling better very, very soon

Oh good luck to your sister! You must be so proud of her

Ok - I have a few she might like:

What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud

What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies !

What does a fish say when it runs into a wall?
DAMN!

If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is it naked or homeless ?

What do you call a deer with no eyes ?
I have no I-Deer


OK - Here's a few risque' ones

If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get laid off?

Why does a squirrel swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur
A lickalotopus

A man is driving happily along when he is pulled over by the police. The copper approaches him and politely asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?"
"Why?" snorts the man. "Is there a fat bird in my car?"

And if you want some downright filthy ones:


Q. What does a dwarf get if he runs through a womans legs ???.....
A. A clit around the ear and a flap across the face

Two eggs boiling in a pan, one male and one female.
The female egg says "Look, I've got a crack"
"No good telling me" replies the male egg "I'm not hard yet"

Mickey goes to the judge after speaking to him before about getting a divorce with Minnie. The judge says "I'm sorry Mickey but I couldn't find grounds for divorce for being insane. Mickey looks stunned and says "I didn't say she was insane I said she was fucking Goofy

Hope these help!
[Edited 6/6/09 15:54pm]
[Edited 6/6/09 16:17pm]

You answered your own request...

http://prince.org/msg/100/310374

Why did the cowboy buy a Daschund?
Because he wanted to get a long little doggie.

Have you hear about the new corduroy pillows?
They're making headlines.

emm said:

to all

how's the walk going so far? did you send her texts?

MrsGoodnight said:

emm said:

yup i sent some of the jokes, shes on her last probably 7 miles by now... thats incredible to me, i have no idea what walking 40 miles would be like im so proud of her and shes seems in good spirits so maybe she will do this again sometime

this whole thing is such a loving expression from thousands, im kinda jealous that im not involved in something this healthy, it seems like such a positive thing against such a negative thing, truely amazing

thanks for the jokes guys

nakedpianoplayer said:

In 5 days we will be on the 3 yr post prostate cancer surgery mark for Michael




For you and your sisters

Mach said:

congrats to you mach and to yours as well


thats fantastic news