lately i have been being pushed by my family to be in a relationship, im not really sure why mind you - im definately not a person who has to be in one to be happy! im thinking that eleven years of being single might make it difficult to join in a relationship with no reservations at all lol... they say it would be 'good' for me, but i dont really feel like im doing bad now, am i?? and why do others assume that you have to have a mate to feel complete? why cant you just be on your own and live your life and if he comes into your life great, if not, thats fine too???


have people ever pushed you into finding someone??

Yes I have had that tried on me in the past after being divorced from an abusive asshole some years ago.

If you are happy the way your life is right now then keep doing what you're doing. I think if you meet someone down the road and you are ready, the key word is "ready", then you'll enter into a relationship.

Why change things to suit others? You are the one in charge of your life.

Tell them you are not in a rush to meet anyone. I'm sure they mean well, but sometimes you got to put your foot down and not let others run you.

Just enjoy the freedom of being single.

thanks luv

seriously though, why is it that people view a single woman who doesnt mind being single as wrong???? why does everyone have to have a relationship to be successful? seriously, i may not have a man in my life until my kids are gone, thats another 7 years - and theres nothing that says im gonna do it then either! its not that i dont like men, i think they are wonderful...im not a man hater, im just very secure in what i need and dont need, and a man is not something that i HAVE to have to be happy

nakedpianoplayer said:

IMO, the ones that love us don't want us to be alone. Luv is right, feel free to keep yourself happy... they should respect you enough to let you do just that.


[Edited 5/28/09 19:40pm]

nakedpianoplayer said:

And there you have it

And not having to answer to anyone. Enjoy your kids growing up.

Everyone I know wants to "set me up" or help me find someone

thekidsgirl said:

Why?

nakedpianoplayer said:

I remember when I was in my teens and early twenties, my grandmother who is deceased used to try and fix me up with guys, but I find that you have to let nature take its course, don't force it.

Just be.. that's all what it is about

I understand how you feel. I get accused of being picky or mean. It's not that at all. I LOVE loving someone else. I just don't feel like that I should offer that to just anyone for the sake of not being single anymore. Especially when you have children, you don't have time to play around. Too much at stake. Nekkie, do what you have to do for yourself and your beautiful kids. Be happy and be complete just as you are. Best thing you could offer any man when that time comes.

purpleizpassion said:

i like that sentence, 'i love loving someone'

but thats just it, i think my plate is full right now with my kids - they keep me more than busy trust me! and honestly i think that adding someone else to the picture at this point in any of our lives would be a mistake. im afraid the relationship would be messed up from jump, ya know? a man doesnt fit in my life right now, im not sure i would honestly be able to be the woman he needs me to be 24 hours a day... best i could offer him would be to give him all my attention after the kids are down for the night - and thats no relationship if you ask me lol.

i would say its just my friends and family, but lately its been my kids too im like, wtf?? i just wanna tell them all to chill out, im alright! my son though, hes very sweet, he says "momma, you know im gonna be leaving in a few years for college right? i need to know that someone is taking care of you while im gone, i think its time for you to have a man in your life"

when he says it like that, with such sweet and innocent eyes, it makes my heart melt... he will be fine when he sees that momma will miss him when that day comes, but momma will also be just fine


yay for the single girls

luv4u said:

I don't know!

ppl act like they're doing me a big favor by giving me the lowdown on guys I'm not interested in and then saying "oh, you deserve I guy like him! You should be more open"

thekidsgirl said:

you should be more open girl, how many times have i heard that????

and the whole, you deserve statement, i get that one too! what i deserve is to have my loved ones be ok with the life that i have and stop pushin.


girl, i hope you find what youre looking for...be it a man, or not - HAPPINESS is what you deserve!!

I am insanely comfortable being by myself ...maybe too much so ...

Byron said:

insanely comfortable, im gonna use that the next time they ask me about a man

nakedpianoplayer said:

thats exactly what I'm talking about

SORTA LIKE A DREAM, ISN'T IT? [NO, BETTER.]SORTA LIKE A DREAMNO WAY DOWN [EP].:. AIR FRANCE

SORTA LIKE A DREAM, ISN'T IT? [NO, BETTER.]SORTA LIKE A DREAMNO WAY DOWN [EP].:. AIR FRANCE .2009 .:sincerely yours







SORTA LIKE A DREAM, ISN'T IT? [NO, BETTER.]SORTA LIKE A DREAMNO WAY DOWN [EP].:. AIR FRANCE

SORTA LIKE A DREAM, ISN'T IT? [NO, BETTER.]SORTA LIKE A DREAMNO WAY DOWN [EP].:. AIR FRANCE
SORTA LIKE A DREAM, ISN'T IT? [NO, BETTER.]SORTA LIKE A DREAMNO WAY DOWN [EP].:. AIR FRANCE
SORTA LIKE A DREAM, ISN'T IT? [NO, BETTER.]SORTA LIKE A DREAMNO WAY DOWN [EP].:. AIR FRANCE .2009

...
[Edited 11/12/09 23:26pm]

...
[Edited 11/12/09 23:31pm]
[Edited 11/12/09 23:33pm]

nakedpianoplayer said:

Feel free to use it lol ...it's royalty free.

Byron said:

I have been married for years and i am very happy

However quite often i feel that i am better suited to being single, not in a i wanna boff new people way, just in a i think that i was made that way, way.

Perhaps it has something to do with being an only child

endymion said:

I don't think that is so unusual, sometimes when I put the rubbish out at night, I want to run away and keep running.

ZombieKitten said:

It's no big deal to feel like that sometimes, but if it were everynight I'd be concerned. I think we all want a break from life sometimes

thekidsgirl said:

I don't put the rubbish out EVERY night, thank goodness

It is a pleasuree being single, I have been for 13 years. from what I see of relationships lately I just think misery loves company.

When I was younger I had extended family members who would comment, ask about boyfriends, etc. starting as early as when I was about 14. Boys still had cooties when I was 14!

These days, people I haven’t seen in a while usually ask me if I’m dating anyone when we catch up, but that’s about the extent of it. I don’t really get questioned about being single anymore. I think everyone in my life knows me as single way more than anything else. I know me as single way more than anything else.

If you’re happy, just tell them so. Don’t let it bother you.

nakedpianoplayer said:

It's such bullshit when people try to force that shit. Of course it's not wrong not to care. It's healthy.

Isn't it better to be single if the right person hasn't come along, than to be one of those sad and desperate people who jump from relationship to relationship because they just can't handle being alone?

PunkMistress said:

I agree with you whole-heartedly. I absolutely do.

But without looking at the extreme example of the opposite being sad and desperate and jumping from relationship to relationship, there is the notion that there may(must?) be something wrong with you if you can't find a reasonably decent person to date - especially if it's over years at a time.

I think there can sometimes be something to that, even when it comes to myself. lol.

CarrieMpls said:

Yeah, sometimes, but not necessarily. I know people who are very happily unattached, who lead rich and fulfilling lives, and I also know people who are unattached and lonely. Just like anything else, one aspect of your life shouldn't define you. And people's assumptions should go right back up their ass.

PunkMistress said:

Hell yeah!

I would say, judging by the condition of your throat, you're at least having relations if not in a relationship.

Mars23 said:

As for me, never. No one has ever pushed me to find a man and settle down.