DesireeNevermind said:

I see your point also they could be fighting EACH OTHER and one just get his ass whopped up more. and it could be like JERKYSKRS said maybe he likes it. but what if.....

Sounds like, since it's two men instead of a man and a woman, and you feel the abused man should be smart enough/strong enough to leave, you don't find it a big deal.

So do nothing.

I hope the abuser doesn't do serious harm to his partner one day.

DesireeNevermind said:

if this is a reoccurring thing it's abuse.

irrisistableB said:

Jerky's KRS was most likely joking. Someone who likes it rough is not the same as someone who gets screamed at and hit while things are being broken in the house.

FunkMistress said:

2 completely different scenarios

DesireeNevermind said:

I wasn't even trying to be funny. A dude that works where we get our hair cut, him and his wife kick the shit out of each other. Weird IMO, but hey, to each their own.

JerseyKRS said:

During sex, Christopher. Different story.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Not if it's two men, apparently. Just two guys fighting.

FunkMistress said:

get back in your cage.

FunkMistress said:

I don't get it.

DesireeNevermind said:

ok we might be two guys but we don't just dook it out

call the police when you actually hear things smashing and crashing not over what you were told people heard. You probably won't be able to hear punches but if any yelling lasts too long report it. Just think of it as keeping the peace and quiet in the neighbourhood.

matthewgrant said:

That's why the cops got called this last time. It wasn't called in as "i think someone is being hurt" but rather that some neighbors were making too much noise and "disturbing the peace cuz its 2am on Tuesday and we have to work". But then one neighbor says "he got fucked up, you should see him, its so terrible" and proceed to tell me all the stuff that they heard.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

you could just report it as a disturbance and mention that you suspect it could be an abuse situation. if the neighbors get pissy with you about it, you can just say "don't get into noisy fights and i won't call the police."

DesireeNevermind said:

DesireeNevermind said:

oh yeah, I didn't mean to not call it in as an possible abusive situation but rather if you felt strange about getting involved that would be the extent of it while authorities help with the bigger issue.

matthewgrant said:

that really does seem like the best approach. i just canceled their email invite to a b-day party. i've opened up a can a worms but fuck it.

DesireeNevermind said:

oh no no no, i was actually thinking earlier maybe you could befriend them and take more to the one getting abused and maybe he'll open up to you or just talk with him. He could have issues of the complex about being an abused male. This goes largely unhelped in the lgbt community

if you can't get the email back GOOD, run over and personally RSVP to get the ball rolling.
[Edited 5/20/09 16:58pm]

matthewgrant said:

if you have the personal email of the person being hit,

SEND.

THEM.

THIS



http://www.prince.org/msg/100/114206

matthewgrant said:

Too late. Read receipt confirmed.

please don't ask why I'm not coming.

DesireeNevermind said:

I don't think you realize it but your subconcious is screaming out to do something

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

wow supa, i couldn't read it all it made me sad but so glad you got away from that.

ima just send this piece for now cuz I know C likes poetry and it is very poetic.

You were stealing me away from me
Nobody needed me anymore than me
And It's amazing how the tears fall
Water seeds that grow to be your strength to leave
Cuz I'm finally at the point
where I'm ready for the truth
and anything i do from here to make me happy
is up to me not you. Truth Hurts-"Catch 22"


If he appreciates it and asks where I got it and why I sent it then I might feel comfortable sending him the link.

.
[Edited 5/20/09 17:30pm]

I do not believe him


Of course I got asked why I'm not coming to the party especially since I came up with the theme. I lied and said I had to work then threw in a "by the way, I heard..."

basically he's saying that the woman who called the cops is a trouble maker (i know her and she is far from that) and he and his boyfriend just had a misunderstanding that got out of hand cuz they were drinking. the noises were the cat! I asked how kickboxing was going just to test him and he said he hasn't gone in two weeks!! remember he has bruises. I've decided to leave this alone for now but to keep my eyes open. I wasn't there and don't want to cause any trouble for him because he really is a nice guy and he could be telling the truth. Maybe it was a misunderstanding exacerbated by alcohol and the rest of us have it twisted.

If this couple exists call the cops FIRST and save the psychological analysis for later.
[Edited 5/20/09 22:47pm]

johnart said:

That's not for me to do since i didn't witness what happened and wasn't there when the cops got called. Even tho I don't believe he and his man just had a regular ole fight I have to give him the benefit of the doubt when he says it was just a misunderstanding and they were drunk. I think that is the best thing to do for now.

DesireeNevermind said:

ooohhh gurrrrrl.

no but seriously. good on you for mentioning it. now he knows you know even if he was trying to throw you off the scent. As you said just keep your eyes open. He COULD very well be telling the truth but that's one loud pussycat. If it's abuse he KNOWS it's abuse and he's just making excuses for it, NOT your issue.

PS. don't be afaid of going to the party if you wanna but i understand. I've stayed clear of people's houses when I knew they knew that I knew abuse or other questionable activity was going on.

DesireeNevermind said:

I mean if you continue to hear such fights.

You don't even have to involve yourself with trying to figure these guys out.
If there's fighting going on and you can hear it at your place (in such detail that you can make out things are being thrown, broken, etc...) it is a "disturbance" and that in itself is reason enough to make that call.

matthewgrant said:

Thank you. This would have been the 3rd party I've gone too at their place and I know I would miss out on some fun times but I just don't want to look at people weird and be thinking "this guy is an abuser and an asshole" the whole time.

JustErin said:

... and there we have it.

DesireeNevermind said:

Excuses and lies. Both things an abuser and the abused are well versed in. As a survivor, I know this first hand.....