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PrintableCinnie said: meow85 said: Again, you're sticking this all back on the mother. Regardless of what you think of her behaviour, someone needs to support that kid -emotionally AND financially. Who's supposed to do it? The State won't, for whatever reason the birth father is unknown or can't be found, presumably the mother isn't able to. I am just using your own line of reasoning to make you think about the judgments you were placing on the father. Should a person bring a child into the world if they cannot afford it, no. But you just asked the question "what if the mother" could not care financially, but she brought the child into the world too. It's just stuff to think about. My guess is that taxpayers support may need to kick in at some point. IMO both people who raised the child, even if there isn't a biological link, have a responsibility to the child and they shouldn't get to drop that just because it's inconvenient. They certainly couldn't if there was a blood link, could they? IMO this child is still his, if he was raising him and in his life for 10 years. "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
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kpowers said: P & R
 Hold up...Not until "I" post...Ok, NOW it's relagated to P&R.  nWo: bboy87 - Timmy84 - LittleBlueCorvette - MuthaFunka - phunkdaddy - Christopher
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Cinnie said: meow85 said: 
It's not right that the kid should be punished for the mistakes of adults. He didn't ask for his mother to cheat and lie. However he got here, someone needs to step up and act like the adult they claim to be and put him first. And what about the man's family? He is out of work and has to scrape up $500 for one child, while he has other mouths to feed. Are you forgetting about those other children's needs? I don't think the man should walk out of the 11 year old's life, but love doesn't require $500 monthly payments (while one is unemployed). Agreed. nWo: bboy87 - Timmy84 - LittleBlueCorvette - MuthaFunka - phunkdaddy - Christopher
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meow85 said: Cinnie said: And what about the man's family? He is out of work and has to scrape up $500 for one child, while he has other mouths to feed. Are you forgetting about those other children's needs? I don't think the man should walk out of the 11 year old's life, but love doesn't require $500 monthly payments (while one is unemployed). Assuming he was already paying for this kid, should he have started another family if he couldn't really afford it? Maybe he hasn't always been unemployed. Maybe he's a victim of recent job cuts, I don't know. But it seems to me awfully fucking shady how easily a person could just drop another human being when it becomes inconvenient. Kids need love, yeah. But kids also need food on the table. What if the mother isn't herself in a position financially to care for the kid on her own? Contrary to popular myth, child support is rarely used as Blahnik money for Mommy. And another thing: I'm getting a wee bit tired of the moral condemnation people on here are flinging out at the mother, calling her all kinds of vile names. People cheat. And I can guarantee you there are people on the Org, on this thread, who've cheated. And if it's hetero cheating, occasionally a child will result. Deal with it. Regardless of what a person thinks of the circumstances surrounding the kid's conception, he's here now and deserves fair treatment and consideration. Worry about what his Mama did or didn't do as a seperate issue. Tough shit and tough shit again. Since she put herself in this position. Let her figure it out her damn self. This is not fucking rocket science. The onus is on her to get off her ass and find the dude or dudes she slept with and get a paternity test. As far as your rant on morals and what people on the org do is comparing apples and oranges. The bottom line is most people are saying it's bullshit for the courts to make a man who is not this kid's biological father to make him pay child support especially since he's unemployed and he's already financially responsible to his own biological kids. It's also wrong if the courts didn't require this mom to find the kid's biological father and she's just out here pissing in the wind. Don't laugh at my funk
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meow85 said: Cinnie said: I am just using your own line of reasoning to make you think about the judgments you were placing on the father. Should a person bring a child into the world if they cannot afford it, no. But you just asked the question "what if the mother" could not care financially, but she brought the child into the world too. It's just stuff to think about. My guess is that taxpayers support may need to kick in at some point. IMO both people who raised the child, even if there isn't a biological link, have a responsibility to the child and they shouldn't get to drop that just because it's inconvenient. They certainly couldn't if there was a blood link, could they? IMO this child is still his, if he was raising him and in his life for 10 years. I would certainly expect that the familial bond / love continues.  It isn't necessarily the man's love that has stopped abruptly, just his income. | |
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This thread is a perennial . . . .
Mods should just keep all the paternity threads handy and just plug them in when it sprouts up . . . . I'm skipping the discussion this year . . . I don't want you to think like me. I just want you to think. |
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meow85 said: Contrary to popular myth, child support is rarely used as Blahnik money for Mommy.
I don't think the mom would be misusing the money, but I don't think the dad would either if he has more children to feed. | |
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phunkdaddy said: meow85 said: Assuming he was already paying for this kid, should he have started another family if he couldn't really afford it? Maybe he hasn't always been unemployed. Maybe he's a victim of recent job cuts, I don't know. But it seems to me awfully fucking shady how easily a person could just drop another human being when it becomes inconvenient. Kids need love, yeah. But kids also need food on the table. What if the mother isn't herself in a position financially to care for the kid on her own? Contrary to popular myth, child support is rarely used as Blahnik money for Mommy. And another thing: I'm getting a wee bit tired of the moral condemnation people on here are flinging out at the mother, calling her all kinds of vile names. People cheat. And I can guarantee you there are people on the Org, on this thread, who've cheated. And if it's hetero cheating, occasionally a child will result. Deal with it. Regardless of what a person thinks of the circumstances surrounding the kid's conception, he's here now and deserves fair treatment and consideration. Worry about what his Mama did or didn't do as a seperate issue. Tough shit and tough shit again. Since she put herself in this position. Let her figure it out her damn self. This is not fucking rocket science. The onus is on her to get off her ass and find the dude or dudes she slept with and get a paternity test. As far as your rant on morals and what people on the org do is comparing apples and oranges. The bottom line is most people are saying it's bullshit for the courts to make a man who is not this kid's biological father to make him pay child support especially since he's unemployed and he's already financially responsible to his own biological kids. It's also wrong if the courts didn't require this mom to find the kid's biological father and she's just out here pissing in the wind. Oh, the poor bastard. How dare he be expected to provide support for a kid he's already been supporting. 
I could see the argument if he'd never been in this child's life, or if it was a baby or young child that wasn't his own and he just found out about it, but not a 10 year old he'd already been involved with. People on this website, some people posting on this thread, have cheated. How dare they insult a complete stranger for doing it. Hypocrites. "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
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Cinnie said: meow85 said: IMO both people who raised the child, even if there isn't a biological link, have a responsibility to the child and they shouldn't get to drop that just because it's inconvenient. They certainly couldn't if there was a blood link, could they? IMO this child is still his, if he was raising him and in his life for 10 years. I would certainly expect that the familial bond / love continues. It isn't necessarily the man's love that has stopped abruptly, just his income.But if the child was definitely his biologically, would he be allowed to stop making payments? And if not, why? "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
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meow85 said: Cinnie said: I would certainly expect that the familial bond / love continues. It isn't necessarily the man's love that has stopped abruptly, just his income.But if the child was definitely his biologically, would he be allowed to stop making payments? And if not, why? I know, how do you get money when you don't have income? Are you suggesting the mother apply for public assistance? | |
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coolcat said: Exactly.
Lots of well meaning folks here who are worried about this child. Why don't you guys make the payments?  | |
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phunkdaddy said: meow85 said: Assuming he was already paying for this kid, should he have started another family if he couldn't really afford it? Maybe he hasn't always been unemployed. Maybe he's a victim of recent job cuts, I don't know. But it seems to me awfully fucking shady how easily a person could just drop another human being when it becomes inconvenient. Kids need love, yeah. But kids also need food on the table. What if the mother isn't herself in a position financially to care for the kid on her own? Contrary to popular myth, child support is rarely used as Blahnik money for Mommy. And another thing: I'm getting a wee bit tired of the moral condemnation people on here are flinging out at the mother, calling her all kinds of vile names. People cheat. And I can guarantee you there are people on the Org, on this thread, who've cheated. And if it's hetero cheating, occasionally a child will result. Deal with it. Regardless of what a person thinks of the circumstances surrounding the kid's conception, he's here now and deserves fair treatment and consideration. Worry about what his Mama did or didn't do as a seperate issue. Tough shit and tough shit again. Since she put herself in this position. Let her figure it out her damn self. This is not fucking rocket science. The onus is on her to get off her ass and find the dude or dudes she slept with and get a paternity test. As far as your rant on morals and what people on the org do is comparing apples and oranges. The bottom line is most people are saying it's bullshit for the courts to make a man who is not this kid's biological father to make him pay child support especially since he's unemployed and he's already financially responsible to his own biological kids. It's also wrong if the courts didn't require this mom to find the kid's biological father and she's just out here pissing in the wind. Preach that shit! nWo: bboy87 - Timmy84 - LittleBlueCorvette - MuthaFunka - phunkdaddy - Christopher
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Cinnie said: meow85 said: But if the child was definitely his biologically, would he be allowed to stop making payments? And if not, why? I know, how do you get money when you don't have income? Are you suggesting the mother apply for public assistance? I have no idea. I know that would be an option here, but I'm not too clear on American laws around the matter. But I do wonder, if this was the man's biological child, whether he'd be allowed to discontinue payments if his own financial situation wasn't ideal. "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
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meow85 said: Cinnie said: I know, how do you get money when you don't have income? Are you suggesting the mother apply for public assistance? I have no idea. I know that would be an option here, but I'm not too clear on American laws around the matter. But I do wonder, if this was the man's biological child, whether he'd be allowed to discontinue payments if his own financial situation wasn't ideal. Right. For some reason when you said it before I was thinking if the child was his biological and he was living with them and he was unemployed (ie. "stopping payments") what would they do... collect unemployment. I don't know how they force payments when there is no income. That's not even the point though I guess. I'm getting a little lost in the details. | |
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phunkdaddy said: meow85 said: Assuming he was already paying for this kid, should he have started another family if he couldn't really afford it? Maybe he hasn't always been unemployed. Maybe he's a victim of recent job cuts, I don't know. But it seems to me awfully fucking shady how easily a person could just drop another human being when it becomes inconvenient. Kids need love, yeah. But kids also need food on the table. What if the mother isn't herself in a position financially to care for the kid on her own? Contrary to popular myth, child support is rarely used as Blahnik money for Mommy. And another thing: I'm getting a wee bit tired of the moral condemnation people on here are flinging out at the mother, calling her all kinds of vile names. People cheat. And I can guarantee you there are people on the Org, on this thread, who've cheated. And if it's hetero cheating, occasionally a child will result. Deal with it. Regardless of what a person thinks of the circumstances surrounding the kid's conception, he's here now and deserves fair treatment and consideration. Worry about what his Mama did or didn't do as a seperate issue. Tough shit and tough shit again. Since she put herself in this position. Let her figure it out her damn self. This is not fucking rocket science. The onus is on her to get off her ass and find the dude or dudes she slept with and get a paternity test. As far as your rant on morals and what people on the org do is comparing apples and oranges. The bottom line is most people are saying it's bullshit for the courts to make a man who is not this kid's biological father to make him pay child support especially since he's unemployed and he's already financially responsible to his own biological kids. It's also wrong if the courts didn't require this mom to find the kid's biological father and she's just out here pissing in the wind. I see what you're saying for I've also acknowledge that she should take responsibility, but it is so easy to say that. Both parties should take responsibility because for almost 11 years, he continued to pay child support, and if he had any doubts during that time, he should have gotten the paternity test done years ago. What I find strange about this is after the court issued papers on him for arrest because he was a few months behind in child support, suddenly, he wants to get an DNA test done. If I was the courts, I would suspect that he did this to get out of paying child support. Ok, he filed a greivance and his court date is in June, but the mother, the non-biological father, and the courts need to figure out what to do in this situation because its messy. Not only is a kid involved, but his own kids are involved, and why should they suffer because of the neglect of two people. | |
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Cinnie said: meow85 said: I have no idea. I know that would be an option here, but I'm not too clear on American laws around the matter. But I do wonder, if this was the man's biological child, whether he'd be allowed to discontinue payments if his own financial situation wasn't ideal. Right. For some reason when you said it before I was thinking if the child was his biological and he was living with them and he was unemployed (ie. "stopping payments") what would they do... collect unemployment. I don't know how they force payments when there is no income. That's not even the point though I guess. I'm getting a little lost in the details. They don't force child support payments if one is unemployed in Canada. | |
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JustErin said: Cinnie said: Right. For some reason when you said it before I was thinking if the child was his biological and he was living with them and he was unemployed (ie. "stopping payments") what would they do... collect unemployment. I don't know how they force payments when there is no income. That's not even the point though I guess. I'm getting a little lost in the details. They don't force child support payments if one is unemployed in Canada. Right, that's not what we're even talking about here I guess. I am guessing that man's reasons for seeking to stop payment is the financial burden of his other children. | |
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Cinnie said: JustErin said: They don't force child support payments if one is unemployed in Canada. Right, that's not what we're even talking about here I guess. I am guessing that man's reasons for seeking to stop payment is the financial burden of his other children. Frankly, I couldn't give a damn if he is employed or has other kids or not. This ain't his kid, he paid based on a lie, and his financial obligation should end immediately. If he chooses to continue paying OR to have a relationship with the child that's on him. But the courts shouldn't be forcing him to. And the trick ass mother should be made to repay him every cent this man paid in child support and brought up on fraud charges cuz she knew the deal. [Edited 5/17/09 17:00pm] | |
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Cinnie said: JustErin said: They don't force child support payments if one is unemployed in Canada. Right, that's not what we're even talking about here I guess. I am guessing that man's reasons for seeking to stop payment is the financial burden of his other children. I was gonna re-word this so that I didn't associate "children" with "burden", but my point was the pressure of supporting the other children. | |
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MuthaFunka said: kpowers said: P & R
Hold up...Not until "I" post...Ok, NOW it's relagated to P&R.  look.what.you.started!  
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moderatorluv4u said: MuthaFunka said: Hold up...Not until "I" post...Ok, NOW it's relagated to P&R. look.what.you.started! Hey, don't blame me!nWo: bboy87 - Timmy84 - LittleBlueCorvette - MuthaFunka - phunkdaddy - Christopher
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MuthaFunka said: phunkdaddy said: Tough shit and tough shit again. Since she put herself in this position. Let her figure it out her damn self. This is not fucking rocket science. The onus is on her to get off her ass and find the dude or dudes she slept with and get a paternity test. As far as your rant on morals and what people on the org do is comparing apples and oranges. The bottom line is most people are saying it's bullshit for the courts to make a man who is not this kid's biological father to make him pay child support especially since he's unemployed and he's already financially responsible to his own biological kids. It's also wrong if the courts didn't require this mom to find the kid's biological father and she's just out here pissing in the wind. Preach that shit! I second that!!! | |
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Cinnie said: SCNDLS said: I agree. But earlier somebody made the argument that he shouldn't bring more kids into the world if he couldn't afford to take care of this one that ain't even his. Love is free from all this. Not when child support is involved, apparently.  | |
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 MuthaFunka said: kpowers said: P & R
Hold up...Not until "I" post...Ok, NOW it's relagated to P&R. "Let love be your perfect weapon..." ~~Andy Biersack | |
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SCNDLS said: noimageatall said: Forget the adults. Imagine how that poor kid must feel...
 His life and world is gone as he knows it. He thinks his mother is a liar...the father he loved was a lie...his sperm donor is God-knows-where...his future is uncertain. Too sad. 
Kids always have to bear the brunt of adult idiocracy. But his mother IS a liar. It's not fair that he's caught in the middle but that's not dude's fault. It's on her to explain who his father is and why she did what she did instead of continuing to benefit financially from what's basically theft by fraud.  Yeah...that's what I meant. But think of how he feels. Maybe his REAL sperm-donor is a crackhead low-life con who beat the shit out of her and she wanted something better for her son and she lied to ensure that. (cue soap opera music) It was wrong. He should not be forced to pay. But damned if I could just up and leave a child I had been mother to for 11 years. Not in me. Hell, I used to work in child-care and when some of the kids would leave to start kindergarten I would cry.
Maybe-maybe-maybe...I don't know.  She lied for whatever reason. The boy was ok. The truth comes out..everyone loses. Such is life.
Ponders on why I am the only one in a family of French and NA blood with bright red hair and mom's boyfriend at the time she met my "dad" had bright red hair. MOOOOOMMMM???? Can I ask you somethin'?  "Let love be your perfect weapon..." ~~Andy Biersack | |
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noimageatall said: MuthaFunka said: Hold up...Not until "I" post...Ok, NOW it's relagated to P&R. And it's STILL in GD! AMAZING! nWo: bboy87 - Timmy84 - LittleBlueCorvette - MuthaFunka - phunkdaddy - Christopher
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phunkdaddy said: .
The onus is on her to get off her ass and find the dude or dudes she slept with and get a paternity test. yep | |
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MuthaFunka said: noimageatall said: And it's STILL in GD! AMAZING! JINX!!!!  "Let love be your perfect weapon..." ~~Andy Biersack | |
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MuthaFunka said: noimageatall said: And it's STILL in GD! AMAZING!   Stop that! | |
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Cinnie said: JustErin said: They don't force child support payments if one is unemployed in Canada. Right, that's not what we're even talking about here I guess. I am guessing that man's reasons for seeking to stop payment is the financial burden of his other children. The article mentions at the very beginning that he could be facing jail time for this as well. I don't think that is fair to him or his other children at all. | |
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