A man has been paying the price for 10 years for an act he did not commit (and in this case it is conceiving a child) and everyone feels that since he did that much time, he should put in more time?

If he wants out financially, why shouldn't he be able to get out? The tramp who entrapped him gets to sit and watch him squirm after he finds out the truth (and believe me...she KNEW damn well what she did.....). How is it healthy for the child to have a stranger who could likely end up resenting him pay?

ThreadBare said:

Would he want to stay in the boys life if it causes such a financial strain to his own children that it causes resentment? That mom should back off.
Its wrong. Sue the biological dad for NOT being there, take his money, he needs to be held responsible.

THIS THREAD REINFORCES MY BELIEF THAT SOME FOLKS JUST AREN'T CUT OUT FOR PARENTING.

paintedlady said:

Big question there, Painted. There's the issue of peace in his home that deals with all kinds of factors -- money, relationships, loyalty, a lack of wisdom that may have contributed to his being duped.

To that last point, imagine if it was his wife's lobbying him to get a paternity test that led to the discovery of the "mistake." Peace could be even harder to come by, if he insists on still being involved in the boy's life, especially financially.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

But again, this is just adults forcing the ill effects of their drama and bullshit and pettiness onto the kid. However that child got here, whoever the father is -it doesn't matter. A REAL adult would sort out what's best for the child and put their best interests first, not bitch and moan and gripe about who cheated who and push the kid back and forth like a bargaining chip or a weapon.


God, I hate grownups. I really, really do.

StillGotIt said:

Paying the price? You act as if caring for another human being is a punishment. Oh, the poor bastard. How dare anyone ask him to think of someone else.

A stranger? Hardly. If he was raising this kid for 10 years already, he's no stranger. And IMHO only a selfish fuck would think there something wrong with continuing that. Obviously, walking out on the kid is a much better idea to some of you people.

meow85 said:

Oh...so now I'm a "selfish fuck" because I dont agree with you. How many "humans" have you raised? It figures...your post is nothing but something spoken like a kid with no life experience who does nothing but sell shit over the counter.

[Snip - luv4u]

ThreadBare said:

IMO this is coming right back to adult selfishness and petty drama.

It seems to me that a whole lot of adults, aren't.

coolcat said:

It shouldn't make him responsible, but as someone that has provided for and admittedly loved this child, he should feel obligated to continue supporting.

I am disgusted by people who can just turn their back on a child they were once caring for, especially one they claim they love.

His own words were, why should he continue to "pay" for this kid, not "provide" for it. He cares more about money and his bitterness than providing for a child he has a relationship with and "loves".

anyone with half a brain could see this man has been shit on... the decision as to if he wants to provide support is his choice... not his responsibility

anyone with half a brain could see this man has been shit on... the decision as to if he wants to provide support is his choice... not his responsibility

Is this FAIR?


Not The Father? You Still Owe Child Support, Says Georgia Law
Posted: 3:10 pm EDT May 13, 2009
Updated: 6:13 pm EDT May 13, 2009

ATLANTA -- Larry Durden, an unemployed mason worker, told Channel 2 Action News reporter Tom Regan that he is being threatened with jail time if he doesn’t continue paying child support for a child he says is not his biological son.

Durden, who says he is the victim of paternity fraud --- the act of falsely naming a man as the biological father of a child, said he assumed the boy was his son for 10 1/2 years.

"I mean, he looked like me. I thought he looked like me," said Durden.

But a few months ago, Durden said he started having doubts, and contacted a DNA testing lab. He took a paternity test and the results took him by surprise.

"It said "0"… he's not mine. So you know, that hurt … it grabbed me," said Durden.

Despite genetic evidence that Durden didn't father the boy, the state is forcing him to continue paying $500 a month in child support. And he's far from alone.

One of every three men who take a paternity test discovers a child they believed was theirs is not.

"They say 25 to 30 percent of all men who get tested find out that they're not the father," said family lawyer Randy Kessler. "That's a high number. Married, non-married, divorced ... that's going on a lot."

The state of Georgia can go after the men for child support and if they don't pay, the state can garnish their wages, revoke their driver's licenses and even put them behind bars.

"When you find out he's not your kid, it hurts because you still love him. But you don't want to pay child support for a kid that ain't yours when you got a family of your own to take care of," said Durden.

Kessler told Regan that he often deals with men who spend years raising a child under the false belief that it's their own.

"If a woman is having an affair, the last thing she wants to do as the child is being born is say, 'Uh, by the way, that baby you're holding in your arms may not be yours,'" said Kessler.

Kessler represented Carnell Smith, who became one of the leaders in the war on paternity fraud.

Smith's battle began with a call from an ex-girlfriend who said he was the father of her baby girl.

"I believed the child was mine, she said the child was mine, and it took me 11 years to find out that was absolutely not the truth," said.

Smith challenged the child support decree, and personally took the case all the way to U.S. Supreme Court.

The high court refused to hear it, but his well-publicized crusade led Georgia to reshape its paternity law.

Ex-husbands and out-of-wedlock fathers can petition to end child support through DNA evidence. But there's a catch.

"If you don't file it exactly as it is written, you don't avail yourself to the relief."

"The law makes it a little easier to quote "get off the hook" for the obligation, but you still have to do it right," said Kessler.

One of the rules requires anyone fighting child support to file a challenge within three months of finding out they are not the biological father. Missing that deadline could hurt their case.

"If you don't do it within 90 days, the court is still allowed to give you relief. It is permissive relief, but it's a case-by-case decision and it's up to the judge."

A judge will hear Durden’s case in June. He hopes to get more sympathy in court than what he's received from the county authorities. They threatened to throw him in jail if he doesn't pay them more than $1,000 in back child support -- for a child that isn't his own.

"I'm falling behind on my bills because I got to pay for a kid that's not even mine. It's crazy."

The state is to lazy to track down the real biological father

kpowers said:

"Too lazy?" I'm guessing, with budgets being as they are, most state governments are wholly ill-staffed to even think about looking for babies' fathers...

And, I'm not entirely sure that should be the role of government anyway. Think we're better off encouraging our friends to be more responsible adults. Personal responsibility, to me, is 100% of the equation here -- not expecting government to solve a problem.

ThreadBare said:

[Snip - luv4u]

kpowers said:

:explain to me why the government should initiate a search for the father.

ThreadBare said:

Your right, it's so much easier on the State to force the non-biological father to pay.

kpowers said:

It's not the state's job to find the biological father. If you read earlier pages of this thread, you'll find I'm on the side of the non-biological father not being forced to pay.

I just see a difference between giving a governmental body the right to track down someone's sexual partners to determine paternity, and a government body making the right, reasonable decision in Mr. Darden's case.

ThreadBare said:

Yeah but it's the states job now to force the non-biological father (NBF) to pay

anyone with half a brain could see this man has been shit on... the decision as to if he wants to provide support is his choice... not his responsibility

meow85 said:

Oh...so now I'm a "selfish fuck" because I dont agree with you. How many "humans" have you raised? It figures...your post is nothing but something spoken like a kid with no life experience who does nothing but sell shit over the counter.

[Snip - luv4u]

Let's just say that I'm not surprised by some of the responses here by the very people I suspected would answer in that way. He had assumed the responsibility for this child for a very long time. The money is for the child, you fuckin' fools. :[b][Name calling snip - luv4u]

Let's just say that I'm not surprised by some of the responses here by the very people I suspected would answer in that way. He had assumed the responsibility for this child for a very long time. The money is for the child, you [Name calling snip - luv4u]

meow85 said:

Oh...so now I'm a "selfish fuck" because I dont agree with you. How many "humans" have you raised? It figures...your post is nothing but something spoken like a kid with no life experience who does nothing but sell shit over the counter.

[Snip - luv4u]