JustErin said:

Naw, but actually using birth control properly and every single time you fuck unless you actually intend to create a child would be a huge step in reducing situations like this. Pity people don't actually do that.

The next step would be for people -men and women -to act like what they claim to be: adults, by taking responsibility where it's due and by being honest with one another to begin with.

meow85 said:

I just realized what atrocious grammar I used in that post.

meow85 said:

You really are pretty bad at grammar and spelling, you know.

Imago said:

I could run your ass around the block in a grammar bee any day.
[Edited 5/14/09 16:10pm]

meow85 said:

I agree with what you say.

Children don't ask to be brought into this world

luv4u said:

But I do think we have a responsibility to them, regardless of how we feel about how they got here.

coolcat said:

He does have a right to be upset, because he was maliciously tricked. The mother should pay him some compensation for that. There are some men that this happens to and when they find out it's not their child, imagine the drama and pain in a situation like that. I guess because he's been taking care of this child for 10 years, he should at least have a right to pay what he can and not what a court orders him to pay, because in reality, it is not his child. I think, of course, since the child already see him as the father, he should not take it out on the child and should continue to support her out of the goodness of his heart, because both individuals have to understand the effect this could have on the child's welfare should he stop making payments suddenly.

I think he should seek compensation from the mother for deceit though. It's only fair, and it is not the child's fault that the mother lied. However, the mother needs to do a memory check of who she slept with in the past who may possibly be the child's father and seek child support and a paternity test to prove who the father is, if it is possible she could locate the real father. Just my two cents.
[Edited 5/14/09 16:29pm]

I don't know if legally he should be forced to pay, but I'd hope that since he believed the child was his and he loves him he'll continue to support him.

The kid still views this man as his father and it would devastate the child for this man to suddenly change his feelings because of biology.

If it were me I'd want to continue supporting the child even if it weren't biologically mine.

Where does everyone get that this woman lied to this dude? For all we know she thought it was his as well.

So what happens when a woman has an affair, comes clean, they decide to stay together and assume the baby is his then later the guy finds out it wasn't his after all?

So should the mother then pay him back all that he paid to help raise the child in a case like that?

hokie said:

You're a woman and a mother. Of course you will feel this way. Put yourself in the man's position who is lied to and then has to accept something totally unacceptable because everyone is going to hold up a kid and tell him to look into it's eyes totally dismissing and disregarding the real wrong that was done to him.

This man is unemployed and has a family of his own to support. But even if he WAS employed, I don't think he should be forced by any court of law to pay for a child that is not his biologically based on the mother's fraud. Send that bill to the ACTUAL father.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Too fucking bad. Shitty things happen to good people all the time. Hate the mother all you want, but that shouldn't make you want to punish the kid in any way at all.

It seems almost impossible for people to not put themselves first. Sorry, but the courts will always put the best interest of the child first and that's the way it should be.

SCNDLS said:

I agree, he should not be forced to pay and I also agree that the real father should made to take responsibility financially from here on in.

JustErin said:

You say this because you're a woman and a mom! Bad things happen to good kids all the time. It's called life.

JustErin said:

I assumed a lie was involved, because it says at the beginning of the article, he believes he's a victim of paternity fraud.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

No, I say this because I am a decent person who will put the best interest of a child before my own.

JustErin said:

And the woman gets to shakedown, scott free and with the sanction of law. It's sick regardless of the child.

coolcat said:

Fair enough, but of course he is saying that. He wants to get out of "paying" for this kid. I mean, what else would he say in his defense?

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Listen, not once did I say that the mother (if it really was paternity fraud) should not be made to pay for her crime or should get off scott free.

JustErin said:

Good. Then and only then do I agree in the best interest of the child.

It all depends if the couple is together or not. I believe if the number continues to rise in men that take paternity tests and it turns out negative, that they are not the father, that some laws may have to be changed. I think, if the guy is not in a relationship with the mother at all, but has been paying child support because of allegations he is the father, that once the truth comes out that he's not the dad, then he should be given the option to pay a minimal amount for a grace period, instead of just immediately stopping payments, until the mother finds another way to earn extra money to support her child.

It's a sad and difficult situation, because the child will be the one to suffer. Not only because she finds out the man giving her money is not his/her dad, but then she/he is left with the question "Who is My Dad?". It really is a difficult situation for the child and the guy who finds out the child was never his in the first place.

If it is a married couple, well then, I feel the payments should continue, because it is almost like the father adopted the child through marriage to the mother. Just my two cents.
[Edited 5/14/09 16:51pm]

JustErin said:

Divorces harm children all the time...

coolcat said:

So do unhealthy marriages - most times even more so than divorce.

JustErin said:

Yep. I think too bad for this guy and it's crappy but the kid's best interest should come first no matter what. Doesn't matter that I'm a woman or mother. Everyone should think that. If more people did maybe some kids wouldn't be so fucked up.

Its fucked up that he has to pay for a child that is not his but I think that before we judge we need to know the full story of their history together.

heybaby said:

Good point.

for the record, I'm taking responsibility for someone else's kids because I am that kind of person. It's not right though.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

It's not, but the kid shouldn't suffer. I feel like the kids should always come first no matter what.

And, good for you for being that kind of person.

Hmmm so hes not the 'father' but he is the father. they guy that did the dead should pay from now and he still remains the father to this poor child and when the boy is old enought to support himself then the mother should have to start paying back the money. If that make sense?????

SCNDLS said:

Exactly. What kind of fuckery is this? Instead of the court
trying to punsish this guy, they should get on the mom's triflin
ass and force her to bring forward the guys she slept with and
take a paternity test. That guy is the one who's getting away
scott free. I don't understand the mentality of the courts or
people on the org saying he's responsible financially. He can
continue to love this child and support him anyway he can but
to have the court's say he's financially responsible while the
mother is not held accountable at all for not being upfront is
complete utter bullshit.