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I'm so sad and angry at the same time... Today my brother's wife left him. She called to tell him she was in Tennessee to be with another man and that my brother could "have" their son. She said she'll see my nephew when she can.
I know sometimes mental illness causes people to do things they might not normally do, but how can a parent--a mother--leave her child ON PURPOSE to be with a man?  for my poor baby. What do you tell a child?
And she can go to hell for all I care. I can understand if she wanted out of her marriage, but why did she have to leave her child? | |
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That sucks Jill...a tough pill to swallow not only as a man who is being left for another, but as a father to have to explain in any detail to the child where mom has gone... it actually turns my stomach a little bit...  | |
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Thanks...
I cannot believe she did that. I am in shock. It does more than turn my stomach. | |
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Sadly, women choose men over their children all the time. It's sickening. Be the best aunt you can be, Jill. You can't replace a mother but you can help make the pain a little less by being a mother anyway.... 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: Sadly, women choose men over their children all the time. It's sickening. Be the best aunt you can be, Jill. You can't replace a mother but you can help make the pain a little less by being a mother anyway....
Richard I would do ANYTHING for that baby. All of my boys are my babies. 
I will do whatever I have to do to be a positive female influence in his life. My brother and I are super close. He knows I'm going to help him. | |
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hokie said: Today my brother's wife left him. She called to tell him she was in Tennessee to be with another man and that my brother could "have" their son. She said she'll see my nephew when she can.
I know sometimes mental illness causes people to do things they might not normally do, but how can a parent--a mother--leave her child ON PURPOSE to be with a man? for my poor baby. What do you tell a child?
And she can go to hell for all I care. I can understand if she wanted out of her marriage, but why did she have to leave her child? Because she's a ho, plain and simply. And sadly, your brother (better yet, men in general) can never turn a ho into a housewife. At least it's great for the child to be with his father, because all boys need their fathers anyway. | |
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TonyVanDam said: hokie said: Today my brother's wife left him. She called to tell him she was in Tennessee to be with another man and that my brother could "have" their son. She said she'll see my nephew when she can.
I know sometimes mental illness causes people to do things they might not normally do, but how can a parent--a mother--leave her child ON PURPOSE to be with a man? for my poor baby. What do you tell a child?
And she can go to hell for all I care. I can understand if she wanted out of her marriage, but why did she have to leave her child? Because she's a ho, plain and simply. And sadly, your brother (better yet, men in general) can never turn a ho into a housewife. At least it's great for the child to be with his father, because all boys need their fathers anyway. Unless they are wretched. I try and be the best uncle I can be to my nephews but man, it's hard. They still want validation from the pathetic loser that is their dad. I feel so bad for them. 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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hokie said: Today my brother's wife left him. She called to tell him she was in Tennessee to be with another man and that my brother could "have" their son. She said she'll see my nephew when she can.
I know sometimes mental illness causes people to do things they might not normally do, but how can a parent--a mother--leave her child ON PURPOSE to be with a man? for my poor baby. What do you tell a child?
And she can go to hell for all I care. I can understand if she wanted out of her marriage, but why did she have to leave her child? Jill, I am very sorry to hear this.  Your nephew is very lucky to have an Auntie like yourself! Like others have said, be there for him, and love him all you can.
I am not sure how a woman can leave their own baby, but sadly he will be better off with out her. I wish the best for you and your family! Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: TonyVanDam said: Because she's a ho, plain and simply. And sadly, your brother (better yet, men in general) can never turn a ho into a housewife. At least it's great for the child to be with his father, because all boys need their fathers anyway. Unless they are wretched. I try and be the best uncle I can be to my nephews but man, it's hard. They still want validation from the pathetic loser that is their dad. I feel so bad for them. Yep. Regardless of what she has done she is still his mother and he loves her. I'll never undermine that. Never. | |
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hokie said: SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: Unless they are wretched. I try and be the best uncle I can be to my nephews but man, it's hard. They still want validation from the pathetic loser that is their dad. I feel so bad for them. Yep. Regardless of what she has done she is still his mother and he loves her. I'll never undermine that. Never. children love their parents. It's nature. He's probably going to have problems from it but yeah, he's better off without her. Just be open to him. That's the best you can do in a situation like this. 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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MoniGram said: hokie said: Today my brother's wife left him. She called to tell him she was in Tennessee to be with another man and that my brother could "have" their son. She said she'll see my nephew when she can.
I know sometimes mental illness causes people to do things they might not normally do, but how can a parent--a mother--leave her child ON PURPOSE to be with a man? for my poor baby. What do you tell a child?
And she can go to hell for all I care. I can understand if she wanted out of her marriage, but why did she have to leave her child? Jill, I am very sorry to hear this. Your nephew is very lucky to have an Auntie like yourself! Like others have said, be there for him, and love him all you can.
I am not sure how a woman can leave their own baby, but sadly he will be better off with out her. I wish the best for you and your family! Geez Moni. 
I hope I didn't make you feel like crap by saying she's a rat for leaving her kid. I know you're adopted and IMO that's totally different and I don't think that about your situation.
Thanks for your kind words. | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: hokie said: Yep. Regardless of what she has done she is still his mother and he loves her. I'll never undermine that. Never. children love their parents. It's nature. He's probably going to have problems from it but yeah, he's better off without her. Just be open to him. That's the best you can do in a situation like this. Thanks for the advice. I just hope I can be there for him when he needs a mother figure. I know I am not his mom and can't be a replacement. I just want him to feel loved. | |
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TonyVanDam said: hokie said: Today my brother's wife left him. She called to tell him she was in Tennessee to be with another man and that my brother could "have" their son. She said she'll see my nephew when she can.
I know sometimes mental illness causes people to do things they might not normally do, but how can a parent--a mother--leave her child ON PURPOSE to be with a man? for my poor baby. What do you tell a child?
And she can go to hell for all I care. I can understand if she wanted out of her marriage, but why did she have to leave her child? Because she's a ho, plain and simply. And sadly, your brother (better yet, men in general) can never turn a ho into a housewife. At least it's great for the child to be with his father, because all boys need their fathers anyway. And not their mothers?? Please. And Supa, men leave their kids for other women all the time. It's absolutely NOT gender specific. Anyway, all you can do is be there for your brother, Jill and nephew. I'm sorry you're all going through this. | |
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my grandma left her 4 kids and her husband one day, just up and left!  got on the back of a motorcycle with another man, and rode out of town, no one knew where she was for over 6 months!!!  her excuse was that she was bored, and wanted adventure. i still to this day cannot understand how she could leave her kids behind? one of which was a baby still. she ended up getting a divorce and getting re-married 2 additional times after that!  [Edited 5/12/09 14:04pm] | |
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JustErin said: TonyVanDam said: Because she's a ho, plain and simply. And sadly, your brother (better yet, men in general) can never turn a ho into a housewife. At least it's great for the child to be with his father, because all boys need their fathers anyway. And not their mothers?? Please. And Supa, men leave their kids for other women all the time. It's absolutely NOT gender specific. Anyway, all you can do is be there for your brother, Jill and nephew. I'm sorry you're all going through this. You're right. Men do this all the time. I guess I'm just shocked because there is this bond I feel with my kids that I assume most moms feel. Maybe not all do. Society also has a hard time accepting women doing this type of thing. We are the ones that carry the babies and so they think that because of that there is a bond that is different from the bond that fathers have. I don't know. I don't want to start any arguments about men vs. women and parent child bonds. I am just devastated is all. | |
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JustErin said: TonyVanDam said: Because she's a ho, plain and simply. And sadly, your brother (better yet, men in general) can never turn a ho into a housewife. At least it's great for the child to be with his father, because all boys need their fathers anyway. And not their mothers?? Please. And Supa, men leave their kids for other women all the time. It's absolutely NOT gender specific. Anyway, all you can do is be there for your brother, Jill and nephew. I'm sorry you're all going through this. Yeah, I just talked about the filthy piece of shit fake brother in law!  2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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Wow, sad to hear this. I think that if she is crazy enough to not want her child around, maybe the child is better off without her. You would not want her to hurt the child physically in any way. My heart goes out to your brother and nephew.  | |
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The first thing my brother is going to do is file for temporary sole custody. He doesn't want to risk her coming here to try and take Justin with her. She is very up and down and it wouldn't surprise me if she tried to do just that.
Justin needs to be in as stable an environment as possible--not dragged all over the place. | |
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hokie said: The first thing my brother is going to do is file for temporary sole custody. He doesn't want to risk her coming here to try and take Justin with her. She is very up and down and it wouldn't surprise me if she tried to do just that.
Justin needs to be in as stable an environment as possible--not dragged all over the place. That's exactly what he needs to do. My brother's ex gf pulled this shit on their daughter once, then decided she changed her mind after a while. Then she decided again that she "never wanted to be a mother in the first place" a couple of years later and that's when my brother had documents terminating her parental rights drawn up and she signed them right away...then when she changed her mind again it was too late, my brother held all the cards - since he was the only one that had his daughter's best interest at heart from day one. She still sees her daughter but it's all on my brother's terms. | |
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Sweety pie I'm so sorry to hear about that. The good thing is that your brother got the best deal out of it.
I know some of you may not believe in karma but I do. It's gonna come around to get her...and bad. Someone I was once in love with is getting hit by karma sooooo bad, it's tearing me apart. MyeternalgrattitudetoPhil&Val.Herman said "We want sweaty truckers at the truck stop! We want cigar puffing men that look like they wanna beat the living daylights out of us" Val"sporking is spooning with benefits" | |
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JustErin said: hokie said: The first thing my brother is going to do is file for temporary sole custody. He doesn't want to risk her coming here to try and take Justin with her. She is very up and down and it wouldn't surprise me if she tried to do just that.
Justin needs to be in as stable an environment as possible--not dragged all over the place. That's exactly what he needs to do. My brother's ex gf pulled this shit on their daughter once, then decided she changed her mind after a while. Then she decided again that she "never wanted to be a mother in the first place" a couple of years later and that's when my brother had documents terminating her parental rights drawn up and she signed them right away...then when she changed her mind again it was too late, my brother held all the cards - since he was the only one that had his daughter's best interest at heart from day one. She still sees her daughter but it's all on my brother's terms. I agree 100%. My brother Jason is the only one who is concerned with Justin's best interests. She knowingly of sound mind picked up and left her child for a man she barely knows. In my opinion she doesn't deserve the right to be a mom. Maybe some won't agree with me, but it's how I feel. My brother needs to make sure that Justin is protected and if that means controlling when, where, and why she sees her son then so be it. | |
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hokie said: SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: Sadly, women choose men over their children all the time. It's sickening. Be the best aunt you can be, Jill. You can't replace a mother but you can help make the pain a little less by being a mother anyway....
Richard I would do ANYTHING for that baby. All of my boys are my babies.
I will do whatever I have to do to be a positive female influence in his life. My brother and I are super close. He knows I'm going to help him. And that will do so much more than you know.
How horrible, but maybe in a way it's better that they won't grow up with her crazy influence possibly damaging them even more.  So hard to say which one is worse, though, it's a lose-lose situation in that sense.
Thank God they have you. The Normal Whores Club | |
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FunkMistress said: hokie said: Richard I would do ANYTHING for that baby. All of my boys are my babies.
I will do whatever I have to do to be a positive female influence in his life. My brother and I are super close. He knows I'm going to help him. And that will do so much more than you know.
How horrible, but maybe in a way it's better that they won't grow up with her crazy influence possibly damaging them even more. So hard to say which one is worse, though, it's a lose-lose situation in that sense.
Thank God they have you.
I love Justin as much as I love my own two boys. That's the truth. I will do anything I can to help. | |
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hokie said: JustErin said: That's exactly what he needs to do. My brother's ex gf pulled this shit on their daughter once, then decided she changed her mind after a while. Then she decided again that she "never wanted to be a mother in the first place" a couple of years later and that's when my brother had documents terminating her parental rights drawn up and she signed them right away...then when she changed her mind again it was too late, my brother held all the cards - since he was the only one that had his daughter's best interest at heart from day one. She still sees her daughter but it's all on my brother's terms. I agree 100%. My brother Jason is the only one who is concerned with Justin's best interests. She knowingly of sound mind picked up and left her child for a man she barely knows. In my opinion she doesn't deserve the right to be a mom. Maybe some won't agree with me, but it's how I feel. My brother needs to make sure that Justin is protected and if that means controlling when, where, and why she sees her son then so be it. YES. The Normal Whores Club | |
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FunkMistress said: hokie said: I agree 100%. My brother Jason is the only one who is concerned with Justin's best interests. She knowingly of sound mind picked up and left her child for a man she barely knows. In my opinion she doesn't deserve the right to be a mom. Maybe some won't agree with me, but it's how I feel. My brother needs to make sure that Justin is protected and if that means controlling when, where, and why she sees her son then so be it. YES. Honestly I'm afraid that if he doesn't get temporary custody that she'll show up in a month or whenever and next time she leaves she'll take Justin with her. If there is no court order to stop her then my brother will be out of luck and poor Justin will be dragged into this huge mess. He needs custody ASAP. | |
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hokie said: FunkMistress said: YES. Honestly I'm afraid that if he doesn't get temporary custody that she'll show up in a month or whenever and next time she leaves she'll take Justin with her. If there is no court order to stop her then my brother will be out of luck and poor Justin will be dragged into this huge mess. He needs custody ASAP. Absolutely. Time is of the essence with these things, trust me.
Good luck and I'm here if you need to talk. We've dealt with this issue with my children's father, Chris' children's mother, and my brother and his kids. It sucks. The Normal Whores Club | |
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FunkMistress said: hokie said: Honestly I'm afraid that if he doesn't get temporary custody that she'll show up in a month or whenever and next time she leaves she'll take Justin with her. If there is no court order to stop her then my brother will be out of luck and poor Justin will be dragged into this huge mess. He needs custody ASAP. Absolutely. Time is of the essence with these things, trust me.
Good luck and I'm here if you need to talk. We've dealt with this issue with my children's father, Chris' children's mother, and my brother and his kids. It sucks. Thanks Erin. Sorry you guys have the shitty family members too. | |
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it is a shitty thing to do, but maybe she was feeling drained in the relationship and just decided to use the other guy for the outlet? The child is going to have a hard time understanding though, and at such a fragile age too.
The same thing happened to my neighbor and he's such a nice guy, he's very down about it too, though the girls are grown. Whenever I saw her, I thought she looked like one of those vicious, proud soap opera women who would break someone's heart, and it turned out I was right. | |
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alphastreet said: it is a shitty thing to do, but maybe she was feeling drained in the relationship and just decided to use the other guy for the outlet? The child is going to have a hard time understanding though, and at such a fragile age too.
The same thing happened to my neighbor and he's such a nice guy, he's very down about it too, though the girls are grown. Whenever I saw her, I thought she looked like one of those vicious, proud soap opera women who would break someone's heart, and it turned out I was right. I don't have any beef with her wanting out of the marriage. People get divorced and it happens. I'm upset because she walked right out of her child's life because she wanted to be with a man that lives in another state. In my opinion she should have stayed here, divorced my brother, and been a mom to her kid. Then if the other guy wanted to be a part of her life so be it. But, to walk away for another man? I don't get it. I'm not chastising you. Just explaining where I'm coming from. | |
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Im sorry to hear that love .....to be honest I think if a mother can do that to her child ..then the child will probably have a better life without her in it | |
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