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depression I think I've developed it and have had a relapse with anxiety. I was told to be on pills for most of my life cause my anxiety is chronic, but I refused and said I would like to go for group counselling instead before making a decision like that. I totally don't think pills are the answer and they are not good in the long run. But I find myself too anxious to go to work and was even crying one morning all shaky and had to take a mental health day. Even at work the other day after talking to a coworker that intimidates me so much, I felt the urge to just burst into tears in the office, and I haven't done this before, but I was scratching my arm a little bit to keep myself from crying and feeling the emotions, and it worked for the moment. I was so mad at myself cause I'm so against self-harm and can't tolerate pain very well at all and don't like needles or anything like that. I do want to continue living, the afterlife scares me so that is not an option in case anyone is thinking I'm suicidal. I guess I do need help, but it's very scary too. I'm a fighter and want to show myself and everyone I don't need dependency to get over this, as I had a bad experience with anti-depressants in the past.
The reason I'm disclosing this is because I know we had a topic earlier, and I can't seem to find it. But a lot of people have suffered from it, and I thought it would be a nice way to connect and get feedback from everyone. | |
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hey sweetie  lots of us around here battle with depression and/or anxiety (myself included) so just know that you are in good company and there is a lot of understanding around here. 
i hope that you can find a way to see the good around you, i know that sometimes its really hard for me to do but once i make myself do that i really do start to feel better. my depression comes and goes, sometimes it makes me most creative so occationally i welcome it when it shows up - but most of the time its not my most favorite time. if you ever need to talk, send me an org note, i'd be glad to be there for ya
 One of the best days of my life... http://prince.org/msg/100/291111
love is a gift
an artist with no fans is really just a man with a hobby.... | |
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Thanks, that's sweet of you. Along with that side, there is a side to me that prays and is hopeful and uses faith and counting blessings to keep on going. I try to keep busy as well aside from work through volunteering and planning to go fun places. I like music as well and sometimes I will get caught up in mania and want to just perform and have done gigs, but it usually lasts for a few weeks only and then I have no interest anymore until something sparks me. I feel like a part of me that does that is like a gift and when I see my favourite performers, I feel like I can be just as great as that even though right now I don't feel it at the moment. It served as escapism while it lasted.
What kind of creative stuff do you do and what is your situation? | |
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| I never thought I would ever suffer from depression but I did, its awful, and only someone that has ever been through it could possibly understand what its like. I think I'm generally better now but I do find I tend to go in and out of feeling depressed. Councilling and pills never really helped but thats not to say it won't help you, everyone is different and reacts differently, although I know it can be a long hard struggle to find the right combination of pills for some people.
http://www.depressionforums.org/ [Edited 5/10/09 1:05am] Sometimes Life is like the post...You just don't get it! | |
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iceblue07 said: I never thought I would ever suffer from depression but I did, its awful, and only someone that has ever been through it could possibly understand what its like. I think I'm generally better now but I do find I tend to go in and out of feeling depressed. Councilling and pills never really helped but thats not to say it won't help you, everyone is different and reacts differently, although I know it can be a long hard struggle to find the right combination of pills for some people.
http://www.depressionforums.org/ [Edited 5/10/09 1:05am] 
sufferer off and on since my late teens i wouldnt wish depression on anyone. its never a case of "just get over it" as some ppl think. dont be hard on your self good luck good health
tracy seems that i was busy doing something close to nothing, but different than the day before   | |
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Pills are never the answer. | |
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novabrkr said: Pills are never the answer.
my rhemuatologist once told me when i wouldnt take arthritis meds "if u were diabetic, would u take insulin?" same thing with depression/anxiety. it is an illness. they dont work in all cases- but in a lot (including me) they do. seems that i was busy doing something close to nothing, but different than the day before | |
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prb said: novabrkr said: Pills are never the answer.
my rhemuatologist once told me when i wouldnt take arthritis meds "if u were diabetic, would u take insulin?" same thing with depression/anxiety. it is an illness. they dont work in all cases- but in a lot (including me) they do. Yes. Thank you for your very insightful reply. Depression is not an illness in its proper sense - it is that something manifests itself in intersubjective relations, which is quite unlike a virus infection or a physical ailment like diabetes (which in itself can lead to depressive moods, just ask me - feeling tired and sort of dizzy can actually alter one's mood). An "illness" in its proper sense is a medical condition and usually something that modern medicine can at least attempt to tackle. Antidepressants do not even attempt to "cure" this "illness", but simply affect hormonal levels that are secondary to these processes (the standards for treatment in this field seem to favour mostly inhibitors these days, it would seem). Most of these treatments are based on completely unfounded presuppositions that claim to be "scientific" when the real word behind such nonsense would be rather "corporate". People who manufacture antidepressants do not really even seem to understand how they affect the people's condition when confronted of their research results, they would just "seem to work on some individuals". There seems to be, for instance, no unanimous agreement or understanding how serotonin functions in the case of depression. It seems to work one way or another, a bit like flipping the coin. Let me ask one simple question from anybody defending the "illness" factor and only relocating it to the bodily level without asking further questions themselves: When these substances are prescribed or even suggested to people asking for help, have the serotonin (/+ related) levels even been measured from these individuals? If not, then it would be quite a strange form of an "illness", because in any other form of illness that is "scientifically verifiable" you actually would need some backup data for the prescription of the medical items. Whenever I've been suggested these things, and there was a brief period in my teens when I was unknowingly eating a certain form of them (they were officially prescribed for my high blood pressure), I have never even been tested of having anything of the related conditions. An illness on the hormonal level is usually verified by either the lack or excessive production of certain substances - whilst this happens during the periods associated with depression, it's really not the entire story. Depression takes place in a world where we live in, in relation to other individuals and social practices, not simply "inside our bodies". There is a potential linkage found on the level of causation, it's however not the entire story. It can go one way or another. Of course trusting the opinions of random internet people on such issues is never the wisest move, although I suspect many doctors aren't in reality that better educated in these things. The last time I went to get my glucose levels checked I was offered antidepressants within the first five minutes of meeting a new doctor and after just bringing up the word "depression" in the conversation. That's what healthcare is like these days. [Edited 5/10/09 7:11am] | |
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I agree with the last poster and believe environment does play a huge part in it, and psychiatrists take the medical model way too seriously. I agree they hand out anti-depressants like candy these days. What I'm going through is very real though and I just may need medication, I'm just scared of long term affects and future health problems. | |
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Pills worked for me and then I kinda just worked through it on my own with diet and exercise. Had many therapists but did not like any of them until my last one. Hang in there. There is light at the end of the tunnel. My sister had bi-polar disorder for a while and is now doing quite well on her own. May sound corny but Prince's music really got me through some dark years. I found hope in it. I hope things work out for you. | |
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novabrkr said: Pills are never the answer.
I would vehemently disagree with "never." I read your explanatory post, and I agree that the pharmaceutical companies do not have our best interests in mind. But there are plenty of illnesses, including depression, that are not identifiable by lab test but have been shown to be markedly improved using medication. I have suffered from depression which I believe to be at least partly genetically inherited. I have personally been helped tremendously by a combination of medication, talk therapy, natural diet, meditation, and awareness and taking control of my actions and interactions. For me, medication is an important part. I think it's ridiculous and unhelpful to make sweeping statements like "Pills are never the answer for anyone." The Normal Whores Club | |
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FunkMistress said: novabrkr said: Pills are never the answer.
I would vehemently disagree with "never." I read your explanatory post, and I agree that the pharmaceutical companies do not have our best interests in mind. But there are plenty of illnesses, including depression, that are not identifiable by lab test but have been shown to be markedly improved using medication. I have suffered from depression which I believe to be at least partly genetically inherited. I have personally been helped tremendously by a combination of medication, talk therapy, natural diet, meditation, and awareness and taking control of my actions and interactions. For me, medication is an important part. I think it's ridiculous and unhelpful to make sweeping statements like "Pills are never the answer for anyone." Sweeping statements suck in any shade, depression is the sort of thing that is hard to understand unless you have first hand experience, which i don't. I have however witnessed the improvement that medication can have on someone suffering with depression so i wouldn't write off the potential benefits What you don't remember never happened | |
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novabrkr said: prb said: my rhemuatologist once told me when i wouldnt take arthritis meds "if u were diabetic, would u take insulin?" same thing with depression/anxiety. it is an illness. they dont work in all cases- but in a lot (including me) they do. Yes. Thank you for your very insightful reply. Depression is not an illness in its proper sense - it is that something manifests itself in intersubjective relations, which is quite unlike a virus infection or a physical ailment like diabetes (which in itself can lead to depressive moods, just ask me - feeling tired and sort of dizzy can actually alter one's mood). An "illness" in its proper sense is a medical condition and usually something that modern medicine can at least attempt to tackle. Antidepressants do not even attempt to "cure" this "illness", but simply affect hormonal levels that are secondary to these processes (the standards for treatment in this field seem to favour mostly inhibitors these days, it would seem). Most of these treatments are based on completely unfounded presuppositions that claim to be "scientific" when the real word behind such nonsense would be rather "corporate". People who manufacture antidepressants do not really even seem to understand how they affect the people's condition when confronted of their research results, they would just "seem to work on some individuals". There seems to be, for instance, no unanimous agreement or understanding how serotonin functions in the case of depression. It seems to work one way or another, a bit like flipping the coin. Let me ask one simple question from anybody defending the "illness" factor and only relocating it to the bodily level without asking further questions themselves: When these substances are prescribed or even suggested to people asking for help, have the serotonin (/+ related) levels even been measured from these individuals? If not, then it would be quite a strange form of an "illness", because in any other form of illness that is "scientifically verifiable" you actually would need some backup data for the prescription of the medical items. Whenever I've been suggested these things, and there was a brief period in my teens when I was unknowingly eating a certain form of them (they were officially prescribed for my high blood pressure), I have never even been tested of having anything of the related conditions. An illness on the hormonal level is usually verified by either the lack or excessive production of certain substances - whilst this happens during the periods associated with depression, it's really not the entire story. Depression takes place in a world where we live in, in relation to other individuals and social practices, not simply "inside our bodies". There is a potential linkage found on the level of causation, it's however not the entire story. It can go one way or another. Of course trusting the opinions of random internet people on such issues is never the wisest move, although I suspect many doctors aren't in reality that better educated in these things. The last time I went to get my glucose levels checked I was offered antidepressants within the first five minutes of meeting a new doctor and after just bringing up the word "depression" in the conversation. That's what healthcare is like these days. [Edited 5/10/09 7:11am] I wholeheartedly disagree, but respectfully so. [Edited 5/10/09 12:32pm] | |
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i would stagger my doses.especially on the days i atually felt prtty bad. cause then, to me, you just need a litle help. you dont want the pills to have control. but yeah, we sorta all in that dumb ass boat... THE B EST BE YOURSELF AS LONG AS YOUR SELF ISNT A DYCK[/r]
**....Someti | |
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I honestly feel you. Right now I seem to be going through a pretty tuff time and often really wonder that no one seems to truelly understand what it is Im going through or dealing with.
Back in October 2008 I was laid off from my job of which I thought I was safe overall. You just never really think it would happen to you till it happens.I got my best friend a job there helping me out a year prior and he wasnt chosen. Ive been working for the company for about 2 1/2 years. For the past 7 months I must have sent away over 200 resumes, signed up with several employment agencies, networking myself, and look around on foot and I have only received 1 call back and interview total. Im on my very first unemployemt extention but worry so much it gets me so depressed and down. And it doesnt help that I also live in one of the worst counties for employment. It changes my moods and my outlook and feel that I just want to give up. Im 38, lost my job, my health insurance, my 401K and feel that im going to be losing more. Now I have to start all over again for what I worked so hard for. | |
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BettaPlace2Die said: I honestly feel you. Right now I seem to be going through a pretty tuff time and often really wonder that no one seems to truelly understand what it is Im going through or dealing with.
Back in October 2008 I was laid off from my job of which I thought I was safe overall. You just never really think it would happen to you till it happens.I got my best friend a job there helping me out a year prior and he wasnt chosen. Ive been working for the company for about 2 1/2 years. For the past 7 months I must have sent away over 200 resumes, signed up with several employment agencies, networking myself, and look around on foot and I have only received 1 call back and interview total. Im on my very first unemployemt extention but worry so much it gets me so depressed and down. And it doesnt help that I also live in one of the worst counties for employment. It changes my moods and my outlook and feel that I just want to give up. Im 38, lost my job, my health insurance, my 401K and feel that im going to be losing more. Now I have to start all over again for what I worked so hard for. that sucks
Stick with it, dont give up, with the sort of effort you are putting in the dam is gonna burst real soon  What you don't remember never happened | |
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.....Honey!!! THE B EST BE YOURSELF AS LONG AS YOUR SELF ISNT A DYCK[/r]
**....Someti | |
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BettaPlace2Die said: I honestly feel you. Right now I seem to be going through a pretty tuff time and often really wonder that no one seems to truelly understand what it is Im going through or dealing with.
Back in October 2008 I was laid off from my job of which I thought I was safe overall. You just never really think it would happen to you till it happens.I got my best friend a job there helping me out a year prior and he wasnt chosen. Ive been working for the company for about 2 1/2 years. For the past 7 months I must have sent away over 200 resumes, signed up with several employment agencies, networking myself, and look around on foot and I have only received 1 call back and interview total. Im on my very first unemployemt extention but worry so much it gets me so depressed and down. And it doesnt help that I also live in one of the worst counties for employment. It changes my moods and my outlook and feel that I just want to give up. Im 38, lost my job, my health insurance, my 401K and feel that im going to be losing more. Now I have to start all over again for what I worked so hard for. Not working was never the reason for my depression but now it certainly contributes to my low days. I haven't worked for 4 years as I've been bringing up my daughter. I'm very ready and eager to get back into the work place full time and like you I'm doing all I can to find work but without success. There jobs to go for but because of the current climate you're up against lots more people. Staying possitive is very difficult but I do try. So I can certainly sympathise with you about being jobless. Sometimes Life is like the post...You just don't get it! | |
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alphastreet said: I think I've developed it and have had a relapse with anxiety. I was told to be on pills for most of my life cause my anxiety is chronic, but I refused and said I would like to go for group counselling instead before making a decision like that. I totally don't think pills are the answer and they are not good in the long run. But I find myself too anxious to go to work and was even crying one morning all shaky and had to take a mental health day. Even at work the other day after talking to a coworker that intimidates me so much, I felt the urge to just burst into tears in the office, and I haven't done this before, but I was scratching my arm a little bit to keep myself from crying and feeling the emotions, and it worked for the moment. I was so mad at myself cause I'm so against self-harm and can't tolerate pain very well at all and don't like needles or anything like that. I do want to continue living, the afterlife scares me so that is not an option in case anyone is thinking I'm suicidal. I guess I do need help, but it's very scary too. I'm a fighter and want to show myself and everyone I don't need dependency to get over this, as I had a bad experience with anti-depressants in the past.
First let me give you this: The reason I'm disclosing this is because I know we had a topic earlier, and I can't seem to find it. But a lot of people have suffered from it, and I thought it would be a nice way to connect and get feedback from everyone.
I decided last Thursday to stop taking medication, period. I have been on five different anti-depressants since I was 21. None of them worked for me. They either made me feel more depressed or made me sick to my stomach. So, I'm trying counseling again. And I'm going to church. Whatever I can do to save my life. Whenever you want to talk, there will be people hear to listen to you. We may not be able to help or perhaps we can share a similar experience or have gone through something you are going through now. I am always much better at giving advice than I am taking it. Feel free to use me as a sounding board if you want. You're not alone. | |
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Hi Vendetta, going for prayer really really helps lift my moods too, like nothing can get to me, and I even volunteer for the community, but when I'm not there, I'm depressed the rest of the time and a hypocrite. I've been scratching myself and poking myself with my nails even more, usually after something triggers me, and I don't even like pain or blood or any of that, I don't know why I'm doing this when I'm so against that kind of thing and want to continue living. [Edited 5/11/09 15:06pm] | |
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alphastreet said: Hi Vendetta, going for prayer really really helps lift my moods too, like nothing can get to me, and I even volunteer for the community, but when I'm not there, I'm depressed the rest of the time and a hypocrite. I've been scratching myself and poking myself with my nails even more, usually after something triggers me, and I don't even like pain or blood or any of that, I don't know why I'm doing this when I'm so against that kind of thing and want to continue living.
[Edited 5/11/09 15:06pm] Then make a contious effort to STOP!!! | |
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iinthesky85 said: alphastreet said: Hi Vendetta, going for prayer really really helps lift my moods too, like nothing can get to me, and I even volunteer for the community, but when I'm not there, I'm depressed the rest of the time and a hypocrite. I've been scratching myself and poking myself with my nails even more, usually after something triggers me, and I don't even like pain or blood or any of that, I don't know why I'm doing this when I'm so against that kind of thing and want to continue living.
[Edited 5/11/09 15:06pm] Then make a contious effort to STOP!!! Not that simple. | |
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hokie said: iinthesky85 said: Then make a contious effort to STOP!!! Not that simple. Like making a conscious effort to spell better. Seriously, and I'm not even making fun. It's probably harder for her to quit self-harming without help than it is for you to stop using nonexistent words when you chastise her. The Normal Whores Club | |
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FunkMistress said: hokie said: Not that simple. Like making a conscious effort to spell better. Seriously, and I'm not even making fun. It's probably harder for her to quit self-harming without help than it is for you to stop using nonexistent words when you chastise her. I wish people would educate themselves on this before making such statements. 
Not you Erin...the orger above you. [Edited 5/11/09 15:26pm] | |
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alphastreet said: Hi Vendetta, going for prayer really really helps lift my moods too, like nothing can get to me, and I even volunteer for the community, but when I'm not there, I'm depressed the rest of the time and a hypocrite. I've been scratching myself and poking myself with my nails even more, usually after something triggers me, and I don't even like pain or blood or any of that, I don't know why I'm doing this when I'm so against that kind of thing and want to continue living.
ALL people who go to church are hypocrites. I'm no different but at least in church, I make a conscious effort to be a better person.
[Edited 5/11/09 15:06pm] I've never self-harmed but I think about it. It's like the physical pain will replace the mental pain. Can you talk to your priest or pastor during the times you feel low? That may help. | |
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hokie said: iinthesky85 said: Then make a contious effort to STOP!!! Not that simple. It's easier then you think. I've quit several bad habits by thinking and acting beofre I could do the do. You just need to stop and think before you make your move. Then remove yourself from the situation if you really want to. You won't always succeed but with time and practice you can overcome. | |
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iinthesky85 said: hokie said: Not that simple. It's easier then you think. I've quit several bad habits by thinking and acting beofre I could do the do. You just need to stop and think before you make your move. Then remove yourself from the situation if you really want to. You won't always succeed but with time and practice you can overcome. | |
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iinthesky85 said: hokie said: Not that simple. It's easier then you think. I've quit several bad habits by thinking and acting beofre I could do the do. You just need to stop and think before you make your move. Then remove yourself from the situation if you really want to. You won't always succeed but with time and practice you can overcome. I'm glad that it worked for you. I still will agree to disagree that it's not simple. | |
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hokie said: iinthesky85 said: It's easier then you think. I've quit several bad habits by thinking and acting beofre I could do the do. You just need to stop and think before you make your move. Then remove yourself from the situation if you really want to. You won't always succeed but with time and practice you can overcome. I'm glad that it worked for you. I still will agree to disagree that it's not simple. I never said it was simple. It does take effort and a lot of it. But it can be done. If the person really wants it. | |
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