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I am sooooo happy for you that you didn't take that job. |
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Not sure it is mid-life at 38 (hope not), but last year I walked from my job managing an auto parts and service store. Tired of BS. I picked a bad year to pull that and at one point was packing sea food before finding my present job, all the while knowing the auto company would take me back if I wanted it. I'm still not happy cause my hours suck, but better than before Le prego di non toccare la macchina per favore! | |
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Imago said: Fauxie said: Exactly, as if being a bit off track and sorting yourself out isn't better. You've got to reach the lowest low first.  It's stupid. Why not now? Why not yesterday?? At some point there's a sick gratification in wallowing though. Thankfully that doesn't last.Wanna help me cowrite some books? I could use a good editor too.  All you need is a spell-checker, but make no mistake, you need a spell-checker. | |
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Imago said: Lawd, yall, this shit is going to read like one of Supa’s threads.
I've been offered a job. It's making about as much as I was making before, and with the same benefits. 
It's with the same company that laid me off.  The hilarity of the situation is that it's doing something I'm an expert in doing--application scripting and network systems management.
Anyways, to make a long story short, I turned it down this morning, despite not having worked in months. 
You see, I think I'm going through a mid-life crisis. I was unhappy in my job and company prior to being laid off. And what's the point in going back to something you're not happy with? Although financially, it would be a blessing for me to just slip back into work in a company I’m familiar with, doing something I am very good at--spiritually, it would be going back to doing the same old same old, wouldn’t it? I am not the same person I was last year. Indeed I am not even the same person I was a couple of months ago. Everything has changed. I am completely uninterested in this position. The house, the cars, the goddamned kayak---nothing. Just a bunch of shit I finance… and for what? In the past few months, since last fall, so many doors have closed on me. So many roads dead ended. So many things I thought were potentially materializing ended up being illusory in nature. Week after week of letdowns, month after month of bad news, and half a year of soul destroying revelations can leave you quite jaded. I do not pretend to be Job tested by an angry and jealous God. Nor do I think I’m unusual or unique in my circumstances. Hell, I don’t even think they’re remarkable in the bigger scheme of things. But I’m a sensitive person. A man-child. A boy going through the motions of being grown up. My professional life has always been a struggle. I have always had to work harder than the ‘other’ guy to get where I needed to go. I have never had anything just handed to me. So being laid off, despite having a perfect track record and nothing but praise from my colleagues and clients….well, that really hurt. I slept less than a combined 12 hours the first week after the layoff. Then I ate myself into an unhealthy state. I punished myself for feeling punished .
I poured myself into a cup and let the devil sip it at his leisure. There is a loneliness in trying to fix a broken life that I can not even begin to describe. I’m a clumsy, jealous, foolish man, and can barely handle dealing with a bad week, let alone a collapse in my professional or personal life. Prince [FAM alert] said when things were dark he withdrew into ‘self’. Well, I withdrew into self too. But Prince had a vision. He had drive. He worked his ass off to perfect his craft. Me? I just fell apart and let the pieces fall where they did. And I felt that I could share this with nobody. The worst thing about hating your life but loving others is that you don’t want them to feel or bare any of your burden. It’s like tainting those around you. But there I was for the first time in years asking myself, “Dan, what is the point of all this? Why is every week the same as the one before it? And why are all my friends going through their business so happy and content to live their lives the way they are?” I was not meant to live a mundane life. I was not meant to walk down local streets that I know like the back of my hand, reminiscing on past adventures I had in this or that local haunt. I was not meant to grow old before my eyes and watch my friends marry off and raise families while I sat idly by trying to sound interested about their newly enlightened lives. Too straight to be a ‘scene queen’ and sufficiently gay enough to never conform to a whole domesticated straight life, I simply wasn’t meant for anything prepackaged--no, my life is ala cart. For a long time, I felt this nagging tug in my gut that the party would come to an end. But in reality the party was over years ago. When the guest have all turned to vapor and withdrawn into their own little smokey lives, will I be the only face left at the bar? That guy that everyone feels sorry for? The ‘local’ face drained of youth and beauty with no interesting story to tell except some lurid sexual conquests that ultimately left me feeling little more than used and disgusted with men and women? My dear friend Karen told me recently something that hangs in my mind. She said, “Dan--do you understand your own worth? You’re universe is much larger than most can imagine it to be. And yet you box yourself in. You don’t love yourself for the wonderful person you are.  ”.
And I realize now that I lived the life that I’ve lived for years and years because it is true. I do NOT love myself they way I should. If I loved myself, I would not be stuck in a job I hated. If I loved myself, I would not have let my body go. If I loved myself, I would not feel the need to live my life as according to some mundane, socially acceptable script. If I loved myself, I would not take the job. And I didn’t. I don’t want to go back there. I don’t want to be that person again. I don’t want to go back to relationships, professional or otherwise, that hurt me. That make me something I know I’m not supposed to be. So, I turned it down. And I’m going far far away.
I think I’ll start that book I keep talking about during my travels… ANYBODY GONE THROUGH MIDLIFE CRISIS OF YOUR OWN? I’D LOVE TO HEAR IT AND COMPARE NOTES. I thought you were banned. How come I can still read your posts? | |
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2the9s said: Imago said: Lawd, yall, this shit is going to read like one of Supa’s threads.
I've been offered a job. It's making about as much as I was making before, and with the same benefits.
It's with the same company that laid me off. The hilarity of the situation is that it's doing something I'm an expert in doing--application scripting and network systems management.
Anyways, to make a long story short, I turned it down this morning, despite not having worked in months.
You see, I think I'm going through a mid-life crisis. I was unhappy in my job and company prior to being laid off. And what's the point in going back to something you're not happy with? Although financially, it would be a blessing for me to just slip back into work in a company I’m familiar with, doing something I am very good at--spiritually, it would be going back to doing the same old same old, wouldn’t it? I am not the same person I was last year. Indeed I am not even the same person I was a couple of months ago. Everything has changed. I am completely uninterested in this position. The house, the cars, the goddamned kayak---nothing. Just a bunch of shit I finance… and for what? In the past few months, since last fall, so many doors have closed on me. So many roads dead ended. So many things I thought were potentially materializing ended up being illusory in nature. Week after week of letdowns, month after month of bad news, and half a year of soul destroying revelations can leave you quite jaded. I do not pretend to be Job tested by an angry and jealous God. Nor do I think I’m unusual or unique in my circumstances. Hell, I don’t even think they’re remarkable in the bigger scheme of things. But I’m a sensitive person. A man-child. A boy going through the motions of being grown up. My professional life has always been a struggle. I have always had to work harder than the ‘other’ guy to get where I needed to go. I have never had anything just handed to me. So being laid off, despite having a perfect track record and nothing but praise from my colleagues and clients….well, that really hurt. I slept less than a combined 12 hours the first week after the layoff. Then I ate myself into an unhealthy state. I punished myself for feeling punished .
I poured myself into a cup and let the devil sip it at his leisure. There is a loneliness in trying to fix a broken life that I can not even begin to describe. I’m a clumsy, jealous, foolish man, and can barely handle dealing with a bad week, let alone a collapse in my professional or personal life. Prince [FAM alert] said when things were dark he withdrew into ‘self’. Well, I withdrew into self too. But Prince had a vision. He had drive. He worked his ass off to perfect his craft. Me? I just fell apart and let the pieces fall where they did. And I felt that I could share this with nobody. The worst thing about hating your life but loving others is that you don’t want them to feel or bare any of your burden. It’s like tainting those around you. But there I was for the first time in years asking myself, “Dan, what is the point of all this? Why is every week the same as the one before it? And why are all my friends going through their business so happy and content to live their lives the way they are?” I was not meant to live a mundane life. I was not meant to walk down local streets that I know like the back of my hand, reminiscing on past adventures I had in this or that local haunt. I was not meant to grow old before my eyes and watch my friends marry off and raise families while I sat idly by trying to sound interested about their newly enlightened lives. Too straight to be a ‘scene queen’ and sufficiently gay enough to never conform to a whole domesticated straight life, I simply wasn’t meant for anything prepackaged--no, my life is ala cart. For a long time, I felt this nagging tug in my gut that the party would come to an end. But in reality the party was over years ago. When the guest have all turned to vapor and withdrawn into their own little smokey lives, will I be the only face left at the bar? That guy that everyone feels sorry for? The ‘local’ face drained of youth and beauty with no interesting story to tell except some lurid sexual conquests that ultimately left me feeling little more than used and disgusted with men and women? My dear friend Karen told me recently something that hangs in my mind. She said, “Dan--do you understand your own worth? You’re universe is much larger than most can imagine it to be. And yet you box yourself in. You don’t love yourself for the wonderful person you are. ”.
And I realize now that I lived the life that I’ve lived for years and years because it is true. I do NOT love myself they way I should. If I loved myself, I would not be stuck in a job I hated. If I loved myself, I would not have let my body go. If I loved myself, I would not feel the need to live my life as according to some mundane, socially acceptable script. If I loved myself, I would not take the job. And I didn’t. I don’t want to go back there. I don’t want to be that person again. I don’t want to go back to relationships, professional or otherwise, that hurt me. That make me something I know I’m not supposed to be. So, I turned it down. And I’m going far far away.
I think I’ll start that book I keep talking about during my travels… ANYBODY GONE THROUGH MIDLIFE CRISIS OF YOUR OWN? I’D LOVE TO HEAR IT AND COMPARE NOTES. I thought you were banned. How come I can still read your posts? OMG ...9s ...I was tempted to put the ' in there ...just to wind u up .....but I've missed u so I'll be nice   | |
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One of my favorite Faith No More songs.
It seems to me like you're figuring it out. First step in the right direction, man.  Shake it til ya make it  | |
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Dan ..love that avie...sho me it bigger | |
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|
Fine... *rolls up sleeves*
it's soul baring time... In '99 I moved back to the states from Germany with my new wife, Maria to start a new life and take over the family business. 4 years later I was ousted from said position by my sister and since have had nothing but trouble due to her and my mother conspiring against my wife and I... go figure. Now 10 years later, I've had it!! I'm in the process of getting my shit together and we're moving back to Germany in the hopes that the next 10 years there will be more fruitful. In the course of my Exodus this means that I'm leaving the Bay Area, which I love dearly. I was born and raised here fer chrissakes! I will be closing the business that I founded, slaved over, nurtured and loved. I will be giving up sailing for a time, but sailing on the Bay is said to be the Holy Grail of Sailing so to leave that is  ! I need to sell ALL of the things that I've worked so hard to gain and even though it's really not that much those pieces that I do own mean so much to me. The Volvo, the VW convertible, the Flatscreen, the surround sound... sure it may just sound like stuff but it's all been recently paid off... it was finally OURS!
Now I do look forward to starting from scratch but I'm 37 with a wife and 2 kids... a risky move that scares the bejeezus outta me but you only live once and based on the last ten years... it' time for a do-over... It's mostly about my kids to be honest... I want them to grow up with a more worldly sense of being and the internationality of Europe holds that appeal... I believe that the education they can receive there would be better than what's available here in Oakland and this move will certainly shield them from the mindless violence that is woven into this city's fabric, 124 killed in 2008 and as of April 28 we're up to 32. Ridiculous!! So that's it in a nutshell, I could delve deeper into the whole family trauma but at this point I'm not feeling it. I'm focused on MY family, MY daughters and MY wife. That is all... Oh and I lurve all y'all too, for the record!  A working class Hero is something to be ~ Lennon |
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imminent stereotypical quarter-life crisis ready to flare up here 
i'm not using my degree, earning so-so money in a job i know i don't particularly want to stay in very long, just coasting. i've gained 15lbs in the last few months, and had someone whose opinion i value insult me about my weight gain, which utterly shattered the self-esteem i'd built up. i know i should eat better, work out, look for a new job, and move to a major city, but yet i stay, screwing myself over.  i'm taking a massive risk in my personal life that could very well lead to serious depression again, yet i took it without a second thought because i'm batshit crazy, apparently.
But i'm with you nick, i feel like something will kick me into gear but i just don't know what it is yet.  | |
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evenstar3 said: imminent stereotypical quarter-life crisis ready to flare up here
i'm not using my degree, earning so-so money in a job i know i don't particularly want to stay in very long, just coasting. i've gained 15lbs in the last few months, and had someone whose opinion i value insult me about my weight gain, which utterly shattered the self-esteem i'd built up. i know i should eat better, work out, look for a new job, and move to a major city, but yet i stay, screwing myself over. i'm taking a massive risk in my personal life that could very well lead to serious depression again, yet i took it without a second thought because i'm batshit crazy, apparently.
But i'm with you nick, i feel like something will kick me into gear but i just don't know what it is yet.   ..only way to be  | |
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ocean said: evenstar3 said: imminent stereotypical quarter-life crisis ready to flare up here
i'm not using my degree, earning so-so money in a job i know i don't particularly want to stay in very long, just coasting. i've gained 15lbs in the last few months, and had someone whose opinion i value insult me about my weight gain, which utterly shattered the self-esteem i'd built up. i know i should eat better, work out, look for a new job, and move to a major city, but yet i stay, screwing myself over. i'm taking a massive risk in my personal life that could very well lead to serious depression again, yet i took it without a second thought because i'm batshit crazy, apparently.
But i'm with you nick, i feel like something will kick me into gear but i just don't know what it is yet. ..only way to be that's what everyone who is older and wiser keeps telling me  | |
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evenstar3 said: ocean said: ..only way to be that's what everyone who is older and wiser keeps telling me Crap, well I have the older part down pat  | |
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Dan, Nick, Ren and Laurel
There are a lot of things I can relate here with. But since it's 8.35am here I think I better can start cleaning my kitchen before even try to respond to this topic
Stay well everyone and Ren...your family will do well in Germany  | |
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I'll have to get back to you on this since I'm still smack dab in the middle of my mid-life crisis and don't know which way is up 
In my heart I feel like mayber I've made my way 3/4 through the worst of it, but life has a funny way of throwing you a few monkeywrenches where you can't be too sure, ya know..? | |
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2the9s said: Imago said: Lawd, yall, this shit is going to read like one of Supa’s threads.
I've been offered a job. It's making about as much as I was making before, and with the same benefits.
It's with the same company that laid me off. The hilarity of the situation is that it's doing something I'm an expert in doing--application scripting and network systems management.
Anyways, to make a long story short, I turned it down this morning, despite not having worked in months.
You see, I think I'm going through a mid-life crisis. I was unhappy in my job and company prior to being laid off. And what's the point in going back to something you're not happy with? Although financially, it would be a blessing for me to just slip back into work in a company I’m familiar with, doing something I am very good at--spiritually, it would be going back to doing the same old same old, wouldn’t it? I am not the same person I was last year. Indeed I am not even the same person I was a couple of months ago. Everything has changed. I am completely uninterested in this position. The house, the cars, the goddamned kayak---nothing. Just a bunch of shit I finance… and for what? In the past few months, since last fall, so many doors have closed on me. So many roads dead ended. So many things I thought were potentially materializing ended up being illusory in nature. Week after week of letdowns, month after month of bad news, and half a year of soul destroying revelations can leave you quite jaded. I do not pretend to be Job tested by an angry and jealous God. Nor do I think I’m unusual or unique in my circumstances. Hell, I don’t even think they’re remarkable in the bigger scheme of things. But I’m a sensitive person. A man-child. A boy going through the motions of being grown up. My professional life has always been a struggle. I have always had to work harder than the ‘other’ guy to get where I needed to go. I have never had anything just handed to me. So being laid off, despite having a perfect track record and nothing but praise from my colleagues and clients….well, that really hurt. I slept less than a combined 12 hours the first week after the layoff. Then I ate myself into an unhealthy state. I punished myself for feeling punished .
I poured myself into a cup and let the devil sip it at his leisure. There is a loneliness in trying to fix a broken life that I can not even begin to describe. I’m a clumsy, jealous, foolish man, and can barely handle dealing with a bad week, let alone a collapse in my professional or personal life. Prince [FAM alert] said when things were dark he withdrew into ‘self’. Well, I withdrew into self too. But Prince had a vision. He had drive. He worked his ass off to perfect his craft. Me? I just fell apart and let the pieces fall where they did. And I felt that I could share this with nobody. The worst thing about hating your life but loving others is that you don’t want them to feel or bare any of your burden. It’s like tainting those around you. But there I was for the first time in years asking myself, “Dan, what is the point of all this? Why is every week the same as the one before it? And why are all my friends going through their business so happy and content to live their lives the way they are?” I was not meant to live a mundane life. I was not meant to walk down local streets that I know like the back of my hand, reminiscing on past adventures I had in this or that local haunt. I was not meant to grow old before my eyes and watch my friends marry off and raise families while I sat idly by trying to sound interested about their newly enlightened lives. Too straight to be a ‘scene queen’ and sufficiently gay enough to never conform to a whole domesticated straight life, I simply wasn’t meant for anything prepackaged--no, my life is ala cart. For a long time, I felt this nagging tug in my gut that the party would come to an end. But in reality the party was over years ago. When the guest have all turned to vapor and withdrawn into their own little smokey lives, will I be the only face left at the bar? That guy that everyone feels sorry for? The ‘local’ face drained of youth and beauty with no interesting story to tell except some lurid sexual conquests that ultimately left me feeling little more than used and disgusted with men and women? My dear friend Karen told me recently something that hangs in my mind. She said, “Dan--do you understand your own worth? You’re universe is much larger than most can imagine it to be. And yet you box yourself in. You don’t love yourself for the wonderful person you are. ”.
And I realize now that I lived the life that I’ve lived for years and years because it is true. I do NOT love myself they way I should. If I loved myself, I would not be stuck in a job I hated. If I loved myself, I would not have let my body go. If I loved myself, I would not feel the need to live my life as according to some mundane, socially acceptable script. If I loved myself, I would not take the job. And I didn’t. I don’t want to go back there. I don’t want to be that person again. I don’t want to go back to relationships, professional or otherwise, that hurt me. That make me something I know I’m not supposed to be. So, I turned it down. And I’m going far far away.
I think I’ll start that book I keep talking about during my travels… ANYBODY GONE THROUGH MIDLIFE CRISIS OF YOUR OWN? I’D LOVE TO HEAR IT AND COMPARE NOTES. I thought you were banned. How come I can still read your posts?  | |
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Fauxie said: I hear ya. I'm going through something a bit like that at 27.
Smoking, drinking, not looking after myself, wondering when I became this person who doesn't eat well or treat their body well, who can't even think straight or begin to set his mind to doing something because he's pissed at not living right and being more focused. And not only that. What happened to spirituality? I've been telling myself I'm that disciplined person with certain personal values I hold dear, just experiencing a blip, but the truth is I'm not that person anymore and I need a reality check. It's one thing for me to confess I'm not driven, not ambitious, to claim I'm selfless and care only about my family's happiness, having a roof over my head and food to eat and not wanting for anything else, but it's silly to think I'm this serene individual who's always happy and carefree and unfettered when I'm more like a plain old bum. I can't do anything right now, not properly or well. I'm just coasting along, but not in an easy-going, content kind of way. I'm finding myself getting more anxious and I don't like it. . [Edited 5/1/09 18:48pm] That is why Dan going to Thailand will make it all better, he will become a famous writer and you can be his slave. Ok, I think I just slipped into one of Dan's dreams. 
That long post hypnotized me.  | |
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RenHoek said: Fine... *rolls up sleeves*
it's soul baring time... In '99 I moved back to the states from Germany with my new wife, Maria to start a new life and take over the family business. 4 years later I was ousted from said position by my sister and since have had nothing but trouble due to her and my mother conspiring against my wife and I... go figure. Now 10 years later, I've had it!! I'm in the process of getting my shit together and we're moving back to Germany in the hopes that the next 10 years there will be more fruitful. In the course of my Exodus this means that I'm leaving the Bay Area, which I love dearly. I was born and raised here fer chrissakes! I will be closing the business that I founded, slaved over, nurtured and loved. I will be giving up sailing for a time, but sailing on the Bay is said to be the Holy Grail of Sailing so to leave that is ! I need to sell ALL of the things that I've worked so hard to gain and even though it's really not that much those pieces that I do own mean so much to me. The Volvo, the VW convertible, the Flatscreen, the surround sound... sure it may just sound like stuff but it's all been recently paid off... it was finally OURS!
Now I do look forward to starting from scratch but I'm 37 with a wife and 2 kids... a risky move that scares the bejeezus outta me but you only live once and based on the last ten years... it' time for a do-over... It's mostly about my kids to be honest... I want them to grow up with a more worldly sense of being and the internationality of Europe holds that appeal... I believe that the education they can receive there would be better than what's available here in Oakland and this move will certainly shield them from the mindless violence that is woven into this city's fabric, 124 killed in 2008 and as of April 28 we're up to 32. Ridiculous!! So that's it in a nutshell, I could delve deeper into the whole family trauma but at this point I'm not feeling it. I'm focused on MY family, MY daughters and MY wife. That is all... Oh and I lurve all y'all too, for the record! 
Maybe we should move to Germany with you?? | |
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evenstar3 said: imminent stereotypical quarter-life crisis ready to flare up here
i'm not using my degree, earning so-so money in a job i know i don't particularly want to stay in very long, just coasting. i've gained 15lbs in the last few months, and had someone whose opinion i value insult me about my weight gain, which utterly shattered the self-esteem i'd built up. i know i should eat better, work out, look for a new job, and move to a major city, but yet i stay, screwing myself over. i'm taking a massive risk in my personal life that could very well lead to serious depression again, yet i took it without a second thought because i'm batshit crazy, apparently.
But i'm with you nick, i feel like something will kick me into gear but i just don't know what it is yet.
It hasn't come along for me and it's been a couple of years now. I needed to rekindle spiritual concerns before I could think about my health. I needed to deal with my health before I could think about the future and getting some kind of security. So the decline just continued and I wasn't quite sure who I was anymore. Sounds overly dramatic, and it is an exaggeration to some degree, but I do seem to have lost some of the qualities I was pleased to have and I've realised it's why I'm not as happy as I could be. Being pro-active was never one of those qualities though. | |
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shanti0608 said: Fauxie said: I hear ya. I'm going through something a bit like that at 27.
Smoking, drinking, not looking after myself, wondering when I became this person who doesn't eat well or treat their body well, who can't even think straight or begin to set his mind to doing something because he's pissed at not living right and being more focused. And not only that. What happened to spirituality? I've been telling myself I'm that disciplined person with certain personal values I hold dear, just experiencing a blip, but the truth is I'm not that person anymore and I need a reality check. It's one thing for me to confess I'm not driven, not ambitious, to claim I'm selfless and care only about my family's happiness, having a roof over my head and food to eat and not wanting for anything else, but it's silly to think I'm this serene individual who's always happy and carefree and unfettered when I'm more like a plain old bum. I can't do anything right now, not properly or well. I'm just coasting along, but not in an easy-going, content kind of way. I'm finding myself getting more anxious and I don't like it. . [Edited 5/1/09 18:48pm] That is why Dan going to Thailand will make it all better, he will become a famous writer and you can be his slave. Ok, I think I just slipped into one of Dan's dreams.
That long post hypnotized me. Oh dear, that's not helping to ease my mind AT ALL. 
. [Edited 5/2/09 4:03am] | |
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Fauxie said: shanti0608 said: That is why Dan going to Thailand will make it all better, he will become a famous writer and you can be his slave. Ok, I think I just slipped into one of Dan's dreams.
That long post hypnotized me. Oh dear.
Scary thought, huh? | |
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RenHoek said: Fine... *rolls up sleeves*
it's soul baring time... In '99 I moved back to the states from Germany with my new wife, Maria to start a new life and take over the family business. 4 years later I was ousted from said position by my sister and since have had nothing but trouble due to her and my mother conspiring against my wife and I... go figure. Now 10 years later, I've had it!! I'm in the process of getting my shit together and we're moving back to Germany in the hopes that the next 10 years there will be more fruitful. In the course of my Exodus this means that I'm leaving the Bay Area, which I love dearly. I was born and raised here fer chrissakes! I will be closing the business that I founded, slaved over, nurtured and loved. I will be giving up sailing for a time, but sailing on the Bay is said to be the Holy Grail of Sailing so to leave that is ! I need to sell ALL of the things that I've worked so hard to gain and even though it's really not that much those pieces that I do own mean so much to me. The Volvo, the VW convertible, the Flatscreen, the surround sound... sure it may just sound like stuff but it's all been recently paid off... it was finally OURS!
Now I do look forward to starting from scratch but I'm 37 with a wife and 2 kids... a risky move that scares the bejeezus outta me but you only live once and based on the last ten years... it' time for a do-over... It's mostly about my kids to be honest... I want them to grow up with a more worldly sense of being and the internationality of Europe holds that appeal... I believe that the education they can receive there would be better than what's available here in Oakland and this move will certainly shield them from the mindless violence that is woven into this city's fabric, 124 killed in 2008 and as of April 28 we're up to 32. Ridiculous!! So that's it in a nutshell, I could delve deeper into the whole family trauma but at this point I'm not feeling it. I'm focused on MY family, MY daughters and MY wife. That is all... Oh and I lurve all y'all too, for the record! Germany's a great country to live in, I would fight for everything I have in my heart and soul to remain here...Colögne btw, is sooo breau-ti-ful  ..over here in my neck of the woods in H'burg people can be a tad bit cool, but it's safe, vibrant, clean...overall I can understand your reasons for wanting to return, family nonwithstanding. For me,I love the support and respect given to the family structure, the general level of safety, and of course how good the schools are. I'm not a mom yet, but all of my Godchildren and "pretend" nieces and nephews, they just floor me with how quickly they learn and how adept their little minds are fromtheir schooling
You know,part of my current mid-life risis is that i have ENDLESS tax issues in this damned country. In fact i just opened another bill this week for 22,000 euro that I currently do.not.have. . But truth be told, when I look at what I get back in terms of services and societal infastructure, I'm willing to pay it. I want to live in a safe place with beautiful surroundings, respectful of the environment, where people help old folks across the street, or try not to disturb their neighbors (because they willingly obey weekend noise ordinances) there are manicured playgrounds, no stray animals, no cockroaches, and schools that keep propelling our kids into the 21st century so they can compete with what's happening globally.
Feel good about that move you're making! All of the material things you purchased can be purchased again...in fact,the change of lifestyle once you're here (as you already know) will have you less attracted to those things, I think and for gawd sakes you know you're going to be able to get those cars again over here cheaper than what you paid for them at home!!!
...and even better, maybe we might finally have enough orgers living in Germany so we can all have our own German meet-up 
[Edited 5/2/09 4:26am] | |
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Ottensen said: RenHoek said: Fine... *rolls up sleeves*
it's soul baring time... In '99 I moved back to the states from Germany with my new wife, Maria to start a new life and take over the family business. 4 years later I was ousted from said position by my sister and since have had nothing but trouble due to her and my mother conspiring against my wife and I... go figure. Now 10 years later, I've had it!! I'm in the process of getting my shit together and we're moving back to Germany in the hopes that the next 10 years there will be more fruitful. In the course of my Exodus this means that I'm leaving the Bay Area, which I love dearly. I was born and raised here fer chrissakes! I will be closing the business that I founded, slaved over, nurtured and loved. I will be giving up sailing for a time, but sailing on the Bay is said to be the Holy Grail of Sailing so to leave that is ! I need to sell ALL of the things that I've worked so hard to gain and even though it's really not that much those pieces that I do own mean so much to me. The Volvo, the VW convertible, the Flatscreen, the surround sound... sure it may just sound like stuff but it's all been recently paid off... it was finally OURS!
Now I do look forward to starting from scratch but I'm 37 with a wife and 2 kids... a risky move that scares the bejeezus outta me but you only live once and based on the last ten years... it' time for a do-over... It's mostly about my kids to be honest... I want them to grow up with a more worldly sense of being and the internationality of Europe holds that appeal... I believe that the education they can receive there would be better than what's available here in Oakland and this move will certainly shield them from the mindless violence that is woven into this city's fabric, 124 killed in 2008 and as of April 28 we're up to 32. Ridiculous!! So that's it in a nutshell, I could delve deeper into the whole family trauma but at this point I'm not feeling it. I'm focused on MY family, MY daughters and MY wife. That is all... Oh and I lurve all y'all too, for the record! Germany's a great country to live in, I would fight for everything I have in my heart and soul to remain here...Colögne btw, is sooo breau-ti-ful ..over here in my neck of the woods in H'burg people can be a tad bit cool, but it's safe, vibrant, clean...overall I can understand your reasons for wanting to return, family nonwithstanding. For me,I love the support and respect given to the family structure, the general level of safety, and of course how good the schools are. I'm not a mom yet, but all of my Godchildren and "pretend" nieces and nephews, they just floor me with how quickly they learn and how adept their little minds are fromtheir schooling
You know,part of my current mid-life risis is that i have ENDLESS tax issues in this damned country. In fact i just opened another bill this week for 22,000 euro that I currently do.not.have. . But truth be told, when I look at what I get back in terms of services and societal infastructure, I'm willing to pay it. I want to live in a safe place with beautiful surroundings, respectful of the environment, where people help old folks across the street, or try not to disturb their neighbors (because they willingly obey weekend noise ordinances) there are manicured playgrounds, no stray animals, no cockroaches, and schools that keep propelling our kids into the 21st century so they can compete with what's happening globally.
Feel good about that move you're making! All of the material things you purchased can be purchased again...in fact,the change of lifestyle once you're here (as you already know) will have you less attracted to those things, I think and for gawd sakes you know you're going to be able to get those cars again over here cheaper than what you paid for them at home!!! Ok, Ok.... now I really want to come and live in Germany. | |
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i went through this in my late 20s as well. similar to what others have said here - career issues, the questions about what i was doing with my life, general depression... the whole 9 yards.
what helped me get out of it was the realization that it wasn't about me. nothing is about me. never has and never will be. in the big scheme of things, my puny existence is pretty damn inconsequential - so i might as well laugh, do a few good things for others, and stop sweating stuff. that lifted a whole lot of pressure, and i moved on much happier. | |
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wow dan- great avi
it must have taken a lot to say no to that job- i dont know if i could have done it. im scared of change- thats why i have only had 2 (and a bit jobs) in 22 yrs. good luck seems that i was busy doing something close to nothing, but different than the day before   | |
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IrresistibleB1tch said: i went through this in my late 20s as well. similar to what others have said here - career issues, the questions about what i was doing with my life, general depression... the whole 9 yards.
what helped me get out of it was the realization that it wasn't about me. nothing is about me. never has and never will be. in the big scheme of things, my puny existence is pretty damn inconsequential - so i might as well laugh, do a few good things for others, and stop sweating stuff. that lifted a whole lot of pressure, and i moved on much happier. OH good advice!!!!!  | |
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shanti0608 said: Ottensen said: Germany's a great country to live in, I would fight for everything I have in my heart and soul to remain here...Colögne btw, is sooo breau-ti-ful ..over here in my neck of the woods in H'burg people can be a tad bit cool, but it's safe, vibrant, clean...overall I can understand your reasons for wanting to return, family nonwithstanding. For me,I love the support and respect given to the family structure, the general level of safety, and of course how good the schools are. I'm not a mom yet, but all of my Godchildren and "pretend" nieces and nephews, they just floor me with how quickly they learn and how adept their little minds are fromtheir schooling
You know,part of my current mid-life risis is that i have ENDLESS tax issues in this damned country. In fact i just opened another bill this week for 22,000 euro that I currently do.not.have. . But truth be told, when I look at what I get back in terms of services and societal infastructure, I'm willing to pay it. I want to live in a safe place with beautiful surroundings, respectful of the environment, where people help old folks across the street, or try not to disturb their neighbors (because they willingly obey weekend noise ordinances) there are manicured playgrounds, no stray animals, no cockroaches, and schools that keep propelling our kids into the 21st century so they can compete with what's happening globally.
Feel good about that move you're making! All of the material things you purchased can be purchased again...in fact,the change of lifestyle once you're here (as you already know) will have you less attracted to those things, I think and for gawd sakes you know you're going to be able to get those cars again over here cheaper than what you paid for them at home!!! Ok, Ok.... now I really want to come and live in Germany. Maybe not so fast, missy..I'm telling you, sorting out German taxes is a horrendous experience. Again, I don't mind paying, but the stress of dealing with the tax folk here feels like having a rotisserie bar stuck from your coochie through the nose and your goose is about to totally be cooked.  . my blood pressure is through the roof since these last few months like you can't imagine  | |
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Ottensen said: shanti0608 said: Ok, Ok.... now I really want to come and live in Germany. Maybe not so fast, missy..I'm telling you, sorting out German taxes is a horrendous experience. Again, I don't mind paying, but the stress of dealing with the tax folk here feels like having a rotisserie bar stuck from your coochie through the nose and your goose is about to totally be cooked. . my blood pressure is through the roof since these last few months like you can't imagine The taxes are HIGH here too
I nearly faint every time I see what gets taken out of the wages for taxes. Something like 45% or some shit.
Though it is nice walking into the hospital and dr's office and not have to hand over an insurance card or co-pay. | |
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This is entirely way to long to keep my attention. You lost me after the word 'job'.
But I'll support the thread never the less. I've reached in darkness and come out with treasure
I layed down with love and I woke up with lies Whats it all worth only the heart can measure It's not whats in the mirror but what's left inside | |
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shanti0608 said: Ottensen said: Maybe not so fast, missy..I'm telling you, sorting out German taxes is a horrendous experience. Again, I don't mind paying, but the stress of dealing with the tax folk here feels like having a rotisserie bar stuck from your coochie through the nose and your goose is about to totally be cooked. . my blood pressure is through the roof since these last few months like you can't imagine The taxes are HIGH here too
I nearly faint every time I see what gets taken out of the wages for taxes. Something like 45% or some shit.
Though it is nice walking into the hospital and dr's office and not have to hand over an insurance card or co-pay. I can't even imagine what it's like to pay in pounds  ...my goodness...
I'm just exausted because I pay so much, and unfortunately am paying back taxes, that's when it gets ugly, last month just paid 7,000 euro back tax, now a new bill for a a different year for 22 thousand... I am fatigued. | |
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TotalANXiousNESS said: This is entirely way to long to keep my attention. You lost me after the word 'job'.
But I'll support the thread never the less. You totally should read it. You don't want to miss their part where I can't get into my bedroom cause a blue exercise ball is wedged in the corner preventing my door from opening. | |
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