Back when I was about 23 I went out with this broad. she was fine as hell to me. Phat ass, beautiful ass brown skin, small breast, and she kept that short Halle Berry do. So I pick up the broad and she comes to the car. She states that her parents would like to meet me. Im like what, your parents are at your crib right now? The broad was like yeah, she lives with them, and she isnt allowed to leave if her parents dont approve. So anyway, I really wanted to hit this broad because her ass was just ridiculous. I go upstairs in her apartment building to meet her parents and the entire fucking family is there to meet me.

I introduce myself to the grandmother, the grandfather, the sister(fine as hell) and her boyfriend, her uncle, plus mom and dad. So they start grilling me. What plans do I have for her, what time am i bringing her home, where do i work, and other shit? The shit was beyond weird. This woman was 25 fucking years old!!!!

So eventually we leave and I ask her what was up with that. Fuck I just met you two days ago in Barnes in Noble and i told her. She claims that her family is overprotective and that they do that to everyone she dates. I blew it off and said cool.

I take her a pool hall in miami. I believe that 1st dates are suppose to be cheap as possible. We play pool, loser has to buy the next game, and that lasts for a couple of hours. Im feeling her up and shit, got a little beer buzz, and im ready to hit this big phat ass. Hell im thinking, damn im going to pull my rubber off and leave my lovesexy juice over that phat ass whether she likes it or not. But just then the broad starts talking wild shit.

"Alex do you think we would make pretty babies? You have good hair and i think the baby would be pretty. But I want to get married first okay?"

Im like what? Bitch I just met you.

So then she gets more aggressive with the shit,"i can just tell we goin to get married...and i dont want to work, i just want to take care of our kids okay! just like my momma did with us. she had 6 kids and i want 7."

what? are you serious?

but the look in her eyes let me know she was dead as serious.....

then it really happened, she said" i dont even want a big wedding, we can just go the Hall of Justice and do it as soon as you like"

man i made my pager go off on purpose(back then we had pagers ) and i made up an excuse to ditch her ass

the next day would blow up my phone with like 40 calls a day until i had to change my number

I will never ever forget that crazy ass shit

but do wish i hit it, but man, she wouldve really went crazy if i gave her some new power soul

so you wanna get laid but no commitent
ok.













.

Hall of Justice???

was she Wonder Woman???

AndGodCreatedMe said:

Exactly.

fat asses need to be fed, and nurtured.... gotta make sure a fat ass is well taken care of, especially if its attached to a broad that wants kids, like 7 of them. no hitting and quitting allowed.

shame on you for not meeting the demands of the almighty fat ass.

I am craving for a burger now

That's a funny story.


The most awkward date I ever had was in Atlanta, when I was...19?? Maybe 20ish.. Something like that. Anyway, he worked for the tabloid mag I was freelancing for and we met in the lobby. He was a cute white boy with the bluest, most beautiful eyes EVER! Anyway, we ended up going to happy hour and that was fine; we got to talk and everything. He asked me on a official date and we went out the next night. So, he picks me up and he's wearing a tux I had on jeans, a cute halter top and heals. I'm like, oooookkkkk He said he was surprised that I didn't dress up a little more and even suggested that I change into a "ball gown...if I had one" Umm, no, I didn't.

SO, he tells me that his friend is the owner of some really nice restaurant in Buckhead, and he'll give us a nice table and everything. However, we get there and his friend is NOT the owner, but the wine guy...who goes around filling everyones glass...and he wasn't there anyway. I tell him it's cool and we could still stay, but I don't think he had the money; that's why he was counting on his friend being there. I tell him that I'm not really that hungry anyway and suggest that we go to Visions night club, as I had been there the weekend before. I tell him that people probably won't make a big deal about his tux....I was wrong. He was laughed at and jeered the whole time we stood in line and when we got inside the club. A couple of people even asked to take pics with him on their cameraphone, just to bother him. He was very embarrassed and very uncomfortable. AND his card declined at the bar! I had to pay the tab I wanted to laugh, but he looked like he wanted to cry

He dropped me off back at my friends apartment and when I saw him 2 days later in the offices, he waved and walked past me with the ultimate quickness


Smooches;)
[Edited 4/25/09 7:44am]

You should have went with Jayna, that chick is like a doorknob, everybody gets a turn!

purplemansionFL said:

purplemansionFL said:

my cousin set me up on a blind date with the granddaughter of a friend of hers.
I took the girl to City Island in NY which is a small island with lots of marinas and seafood restaurants. I took her to the most expensive lobster restaurant and on the ride home she farted in the car. An SBD type. There was no second date.

this was probably about 8 years ago.

i was on a date with the musical director of a local gay men's chorus. He took me to the symphony with some of his friends. They were mid to late 50s. I had a head cold and ended up having to cough through most of the performance. After the show his two friends patted me on the head and asked me if i had ever been to the symphony before. The next day we went to the Cheesecake Factory for brunch and since the sex wasn't all that good and his friends were bothersome I was looking for a way out of the rest of the day. I gave short responses and than I found my opening. He was talking about us having a long term monogamous relationship after only about 4 dates and I told him i wasn't into monogamy. All conversation stopped for the rest of the meal and when the check came he asked if I wouldn't mind paying for my half. I haven't talked to him since.

AndGodCreatedMe said:

exactly...maybe talking about babies and marriage is too soon...like you said ...you guys just met. It's also too soon to start doing her.

MsMisha319 said:

woah...what a day you had....

ehuffnsd said:

ouch

peacenlovealways said:

Yeah, but looking back at it, it was hilarious!


Smooches;)

I went out with this guy and I am still traumatized by this one. This guy I knew from next door. When I have my front door open and my friends see me they come by to visit. So, I am sitting having a drink watching Showtime boxing. I offer dude a drink since I was having one. After the fight went off, he asks if I want to check out a movie that just came out. I said ok and grabbed my purse. We had 45 minutes to kill before the movie and went into Gameworks. He wants another drink. It's time for the movie so we go to the theatre. Before the movie could start he starts to act squirrely. He is saying that he is hot and wants to smoke. He pulls out his pack of cigarettes and starts to smoke in the theatre. Oh my God! I took off to the bathroom. I was in there a good twenty minutes. Luckily, we were the only ones in the theatre and no one complained. I peek back in and he is done with his cigarette. I am just mortified.

I sit back down in my seat and dude is horny now. He wants to kiss me. He wants a hug. Hell no! I told him to sit still or we were leaving. He is still for a hot second and then he starts to cry and talks about how he was almost charged with rape 2 years ago. What the fuck! Then this nut stands up and starts to take off his clothes. I took off running to the bathroom again. I am kicking myself in the ass for not driving like I usually do when I go out. This fool had not eaten anything and was extremely drunk and being an ass. I am in the bathroom another 45 minutes just plotting how to get out of this. I know his mother and she is just the sweetest thing. I did not want to hurt her by leaving his monkey ass in there to get arrested. I go back in the theatre and dumb ass is dressed! Thank God! It's time to go. So I get him out of the place without getting arrested and to his car.

The alcohol is wearing off and he asks me how did I like the movie and if I wanted to go to Denny's. Negro please! I went off and told him all the shit he was doing at the movies. His monkey ass did not remember shit! I have met some drunks in my life and handled it pretty well. This was a true Alcoholic. How do you get so drunk you don't remember being naked in a theatre smoking a cigarette!?! The next day, I told him he can never be around me when he is drinking! If I smell a beer on his breath I won't even open the steel door! Now, I check to see if a dude is an alcoholic before I go anywhere with him. That was the most craziest shit I have seen on a date.

ShySlantedEye1 said:

damn

Well, when I was 24 I asked someone on a date three times. She gladly agreed to come on each occasion, but on the third one I just had to ask her whether she even realized she had been on a date, because I never really just happened to use that word when asking her out on the phone. "Oh, I thought you just wanted to be friends.", "I just broke up with my boyfriend". Pretty damn awkward a moment.

I guess Finland doesn't have much of a dating culture -thing going on.

The most awkward dates I've been on have been with couples (yeah, if ya haven't heard, I'm a freak. . . moving on . . .).


The first couple I ever went out with, the woman clearly didn't want to be there while the guy was all -y (a common theme in so-called "open" relationships, I'm finding). We had lunch and wandered back to their place, and it looked like a grownup house but with ONLY the belongings of a 15-year-old boy. Action figures, geek memorabilia. . . I mean, I love geeks, and some of that stuff is cute. . .but not when it's EVERYthing. Cuz I also like people who live like grownups. It was SO not hot. I seem to remember that we mutually didn't call each other after that one.

Then a couple I went out with more recently unexpectedly brought their two young children along on our first date. I'm thinking, "ok, I've never dated anybody with kids, maybe this isn't weird among breeders." But I liked them (all of them; the kids were pretty cute), and the grownups were both fucking hot, so I decided to see them again. I go over to their house for dinner, and . . . yeah, I mean, the kids were cute, but adult conversation was impossible. They put them to bed at some point, but the little girl kept finding reasons to get up. Finally I'm like, ok, enough, and go to say goodnight. . . and they were all bummed. They thought I would stay. And as much as I wanted to get my groove on with them. . .I was just way turned off by the whole family vibe. Didn't know 'till I tried. So I managed to slip out the door, and the (hot!) guy walks me out to my car, and proceeds to give me this very looooong hug . . . and I wanted to want more of it. . . but yeah, not so much. I could never figure out what to say to them, so I just sorta stopped responding to messages.


Because I'm a person who doesn't learn lessons, I'm going out with another (HOOOOT) couple next weekend. We'll see.

When I was in college I was set up on a blind date by a friend. So this guy comes to pick me up and the passenger door lock had a mechanical failure.
Needless to say I declined the date... I did not want to be in a situation I could not get out of ..

I also had a bad habit of cutting dates really short if the guy lacked manners.. or bad breath

FunkMistress said:

bestest post ever . haven't been on too many "dates" myself . went on one a long time ago with this chick at the mall. took her to a flick (the worst movie ever, i remember that shit , silent hill ) and then we were just walking around and she ran into these dudes that were friends of hers and we hung out with them for a while. yeah, that sucked . plus, one of 'em used to like her or something . yeah, crazy broad too, but i was on it, i ain't gonna lie . had a boyfriend in jail that she'd never stopped talking about . also, my moms drove us, which was all kindsa awkward too . didn't get the drawers, needless to say . took another girl ( ) just recently to see last house on the left (decent flick, at least ) and she was texting and shit through the whole thing, which i didn't like. she also had a buddy that worked at the mall (same mall ) and had to wait for her to talk to this dude too , but she has a boyfriend that isn't her "boyfriend" she says and all kindsa problems too and . but i was on her shit too and yeah, i won't get the drawers from her either . yeah, my love life sucks

tackam said:

Where's MuthaFunka when u need him?

ShySlantedEye1 said:

Acting squirrely!

ShySlantedEye1 said:

Oh. My. God.

tackam said:

I hate that, it makes me want to smack both of them.

FunkMistress said:

RIGHT?!

Fuck.

Boy do I have something to contribute to this. I was going out with the guy for about 2 months and he invites me to a family gathering. It was basically sunday dinner with his two brothers their wives and his parents and a couple that was friends of the fam. So during dinner a cell phone goes off and one the brother types in a text and continues eating then he goes to the kitchen and his wife shortly after gets up and follows well I can clearly hear some muffles arguing than a thud a couple of "stops" and "No's" and I know that they are fighting. I want you to know that everyone acted like they did not hear it than I clearly heard smacks and her yelping and still no reaction. I was pissed. I may of been out of place but I politely asked was anyone going in to help the young lady that I felt that she may need some assistance and his other sister-in-law says "Ah sweetie we stay out things like that." I was floored. So I go into the kitchen and ask was everything ok I got an eat shit look from both of them and she was like "Im grown whatcha mean am I allright" mind you, her face was swollen and she had a cut under her eye. I quietly got my purse and coat and began to walk home in total shock.

purplemansionFL said:

That would actually be impressive.

I have a date that will never be beat, most O.G. orgers know the story, I won't recap it, but all I have to say is Mice! lol