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Thread started 04/21/09 12:05pm

Daznym17

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Advice?

I've run out of forums to post in aside from Prince.org. Previous forums I've been to have all shut down. Not because of me mind you, so don't fear. I've wanted to ask for relationship advice or thoughts but I can't tell if this is the right place or not. before I continue with my question I want to ensure this is the right forum. So, Is this the correct forum?
"The is no great genius without some touch of madness" -Seneca
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Reply #1 posted 04/21/09 12:06pm

CarrieMpls

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This is the one!

Ask away!

smile
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Reply #2 posted 04/21/09 12:10pm

thekidsgirl

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WELCOME! hug

whats the question?
If you will, so will I
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Reply #3 posted 04/21/09 12:25pm

Daznym17

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All right. I've been in a relationship for nearly 2 years now. Recently I've been more stressed than usual as it's my first year back to college after about a 6 year hiatus and i continue to work. I've noticed lately (the last 3 months or so) that i'm not finding myself as interested in my relationship. I've just been telling myself its just the stress getting to me. When i start thinking about it though i feel like i may not be sexually attracted to my girlfriend anymore. I even lost "IT" during sex on two occasions now because my mind has been elsewhere. I've also noticed my dreams are rarely of her and more frequently of my ex who i rarely talk to anymore. I know she's noticed my internal struggle, she's asked me if everything is all right and being that i'm not entirely sure of my own feelings i just say "yeah". At one point about a month ago i asked a friend for advice and she suggested breaking up. I still love my girlfriend but i don't know if i'm in love with her anymore. Being that i'm uncertain i figure i probably am not. so i agreed with my friend and i went to talk to my girlfriend and within a few sentences she was talking about how depressed and suicidal she's been feeling recently. That she's afraid of herself right now and that I'm all she has because her family "doesn't love her" and her friends have "abandoned her". So i didn't get anything out. I've been too afraid to break up with her because i still love her and want to hang out, but i don't really want to push her to where she feels she has nothing. We've come close to breaking up 3 times now but each time she brings up her depression and i feel i have to back down. I've tried to get her to hang out with her friends but she ends up calling me around midnight crying because she feels left out of the group and wants me there. I personally believe that some of her depression is being egged on by external forces or certain little drinks.
I don't really know what to do anymore. Has anyone had similar dilemnas or stuations or any advice in general?

I apologize if i jump around abit in my post. My mind gets frazzled thinking about everything.
"The is no great genius without some touch of madness" -Seneca
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Reply #4 posted 04/21/09 12:44pm

thekidsgirl

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You sound just like my friend and his girlfriend, so I'll say the same thing to you that I said to him...You should be honest with her, and you can't keep sacraficing your own happiness, to spare her.

It's unfortunate that she is suffering from depression, but she shouldn't put that birden on you and use it as a way to guilt-trap you into staying with her.

If your feelings for her are truely fading, maintaining a facade will probably end up with one of you being hurt anyhow, and if it is just stress, let her know...Maybe a little break is all you need.

Regardless, communication is key!
If you will, so will I
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Reply #5 posted 04/21/09 1:15pm

Daznym17

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thekidsgirl said:

You sound just like my friend and his girlfriend, so I'll say the same thing to you that I said to him...You should be honest with her, and you can't keep sacraficing your own happiness, to spare her.

It's unfortunate that she is suffering from depression, but she shouldn't put that birden on you and use it as a way to guilt-trap you into staying with her.

If your feelings for her are truely fading, maintaining a facade will probably end up with one of you being hurt anyhow, and if it is just stress, let her know...Maybe a little break is all you need.

Regardless, communication is key!


Thanks for the response. I'm pretty much in agreeance with you. i just don't know how to get past the suicidal talk or how i can reassure her that i still want to hang out now.
"The is no great genius without some touch of madness" -Seneca
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