i don't particularly like (*most) kids, and i certainly have never and will never want to birth them, however...i'm really tired of people telling me just because i don't have kids, i don't "know what it's like," this being in reference to how to discipline them or what lengths to go to to keep them safe, happy, part of your life when they're adults, etc etc...

so, it got me thinking, there are PLENTY of things or situations or life experiences which one does not have to personally go through in order to know how they work, how they feel or how best to handle situations arising from them...unfortunately, some of my rebuttals are not the most tactful or 'Christian' in spirit, i often say:"I don't need to have a baseball bat shoved up my ass to know it will hurt"or "I don't have to watch someone die in front of my to know it's traumatic"orsometimes i get more philosophical and say:"I don't have to spend time in Purgatory to know it exists, or that my actions on earth directly impact the length of time I'll spend there when I pass"

BUT, still I'm having trouble getting my point across and as of late am not feeling too articulate (as you can see this email)
SO i thought i'd put it out there for a select few of you guys, my very most dear and (happily) childless friends (most of whom happen to be extremely witty & clever writers)to help me compile a nice list of ways to let people know that just because someone:shot a load inside them, they forced themselves not to drink alcohol for 9 months, and then grunted and pushed someone out their stinkbox, it DOES NOT make them a fucking aficionado on all things child related!!!(don't even get me started on these same assholes who belittle one's love for an animal and claim it inferior to one's love of a human child!!!!!)

so please, i ask for any input you have which may assist me in getting MY point across to these baby-thumping douche bags!!!!and as you enjoy your wine filled, open schedule, childless weekend, i bid you a fond: yeeehaww!!! have a glass for me!!!!

*disclaimer: i absolutely love my Godchildren and all the others whom i'm an "Auntie" to, but they don't count cuz their parents are all totally cool and so are they!!!

Um,
I'm not sure if this will help, but a while back, I was the only single childless female at a dinner party. Before too long, the pix came out and the child discussion started. I chimed in, and one (b****) woman turned to me and sardonically said, "Oh, Lynn, U have kids?"

I looked at her and replied, "I have a B.A. in Psychology- Child Development, a Post-B.A. in Special Education, and a Master's in Special Education-Developmental Disabilities. AND I spend about 7 hours a day with other people's children. What do YOU want to know about children?"

The other ladies gasped.
That bitch never bothered me again.

I think your friend should just smile politely and tell whoever that it's not her concern how she lives her life and she's happy. But the next time she needs a babysitter not to call, because she'll be out living life....

I don't understand why she can't simply tell them that she is perfectly happy not having any children,and have them accept that. I think I would be asking them why it's such a huge deal to them that she have a child?

EmeraldSkies said:

I CAN'T have children. But I'm not going to explain that to every single person who starts that bull with me. Then they start telling me I can adopt, or be foster mom...
It's like they think there's something wrong with U...

...just because someone:shot a load inside them, they forced themselves not to drink alcohol for 9 months, and then grunted and pushed someone out their stinkbox...

chocolate1 said:

There is nothing wrong with not wanting children. I myself would love to have a child,but the way things are going,I don't see it happening.

SCNDLS's

friend said:

I think I would love to have some cocktails with this friend of yours.

EmeraldSkies said:

I CAN'T have children. But I'm not going to explain that to every single person who starts that bull with me. Then they start telling me I can adopt, or be foster mom...
It's like they think there's something wrong with U...

chocolate1 said:

I can, but don't want to, and I STILL don't wanna hear the bullshit.

I think my friend's point, is that she wants to let someone that's rudely telling her she can't have an opinion on childrearing because she's childless, have IT in a direct, funny, and clever way.

So what are some ways she can convey her happily childless status to the insensitive breeders she comes across???

SCNDLS said:

If a person is telling her she NEEDS to have kids, she NEEDS to tell them where they can go with that.


I hate women that try to tell others what they NEED. Bossy bitches need a hobby.

paintedlady said:

My friend's wife told me she felt sorry for me because I HAVE NO IDENTITY as someone's wife or mother.
I told HER I felt even sorrier for her that she thinks her ONLY identity IS as wife and mother.
Then we stared each other down and smiled politely as ---- walked back into the room.

(Incidentally, it was HER dinner party and and HER bitchy best friend who tried to put me on blast... bunch of cackling heifers! )

Well.... shit Imma add my



One mom will say its tough, another will say its a joy, both can be right, both can be wrong. Its true some things yo won't know because in ANY situation people are quick to say..

"if that were me I would do _____." <- that is some dumb shit to say to any person if you aren't living it.


PERFECT EXAPLE: Corporal punishment.

I am a minority, I believe in it, because I need to emphasize to my son that because of white privilege, he will be viewed by a certain sector of our community a certain way, UNTIL he proves otherwise to others. I believe if I were white and my kids were caucasian, I wouldn't have to be so hard on my son, because I think people would view him as a person, and would be willing to take a chance on him, or give him a second chance.

Will many parents disagree? Hell YES. Would some white people think I am being racist? Hell YES. Would they understand WHY I feel this way? NO. Would other black parents understand me? Maybe? Am I wrong? No... because its what is working for me. Does this make me a BAD parent? To some yes. To some no.

But we all don't agree... we don't have to. Life choices are just that... choices.

Don't have kids? Nothing wrong with that. If someone tells you that you don't understand.... well, maybe you just don't. Live with it being happy to have a spontaneous lifestyle! Some people need to stop caring what others think.

BTW... it is extremely rude to try to tell people HOW to raise their kids... I don't care if a bitch birthed 20 kids and had was a Dr. ..... tell me that shit, you'll get cussed out.

that's where the "you wouldn't understand" comments come from. You just gotta let people mess up and learn from it on their own. Abuse is different, intervention is needed then.

paintedlady said:

I don't agree. I think people without kids can still have an opinion on various kid-related issues. It's all about how they do it. Otherwise, people with kids should not share anything about their kids with their childfree friends.

It' weird....I'm single, childless and happy, but I don't get half the crap single women get. According to society, a woman's not "fufilled" unless she's married with children. Pretty stupid if you ask me.

I say do whatever makes YOU happy, and fuck everyone else, including family(if they get too nosy).

paintedlady said:

My friend's wife told me she felt sorry for me because I HAVE NO IDENTITY as someone's wife or mother.
I told HER I felt even sorrier for her that she thinks her ONLY identity IS as wife and mother.
Then we stared each other down and smiled politely as ---- walked back into the room.

(Incidentally, it was HER dinner party and and HER bitchy best friend who tried to put me on blast... bunch of cackling heifers! )

chocolate1 said:

I chimed in, and one (b****) woman turned to me and sardonically said, "Oh, Lynn, U have kids?"

I looked at her and replied, "I have a B.A. in Psychology- Child Development, a Post-B.A. in Special Education, and a Master's in Special Education-Developmental Disabilities. AND I spend about 7 hours a day with other people's children. What do YOU want to know about children?"

The other ladies gasped.
That bitch never bothered me again.

uPtoWnNY said:

AMEN!!!

Gosh those stories... It's like women WANT eachother to feel bad about themselves.

I am single, childless and happy by the way.