FunkMistress said:

Lammastide said:

Sorry if I am being forward,but I am trying to understand,if you are gay,why would you want to be married to a woman?

FunkMistress said:

Lammastide said:

Wow, that's a bit strange, since you like men. I would think that would be a perfect situation if your wife decided to become a man
[Edited 4/20/09 22:36pm]

EmeraldSkies said:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

EmeraldSkies said:

I have resisted asking all these years

i would be peacin' out. besides the fact that the whole sex change thing freaks me out in the worst way...what would be the point of me being with a man who became a woman? shit, i may as well be straight.

EmeraldSkies said:

That's a totally fair question. I put myself out there.

I could give some long treatise after all these years on the org in an attempt to be profound, but... nah. Instead, suffice it to say that despite the fact I was married under the false pretense I could sweep who I was (am) under the rug, pray it away, use mind over matter, etc. (which I wouldn't advise y'all try at home ), I've come to affirm my own sexuality... and yet love my wife (and vice versa) in a way that waaaaay trumps it.

After 14 years together, I'm presented with someone who still believes in our mutual devotion and servanthood (which I believe marriage to be), is a cheerleader when I need it, kicks my ass when I need it, forgives even the dumbest things I do, nurses my sick ass, has a compatible spirituality and goals in life, knows me inside and out like no other, unconditionally loves me anyway and bore and raises my child with the same unconditional love -- and I'm moved to be the same to her. I ain't trying to lose that.

LiquidGold said:

It is counterintuitive, eh? I dunno... I just prefer the package deal I bought.

Lammastide said:

Your wife if one lucky woman.

EmeraldSkies said:

Right now she thinks differently. I haven't changed the litter box in like a week.

Just no comment

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

[Edited 4/21/09 13:36pm]

Lammastide said:

I can't. I respect you too much. at least not before you fill out my questionaire

If your man decides to become a woman and you think you'll miss his dick, couldn't you just ask the surgeon to put it in a jar for you?

mcmeekle said:

Jesus, and I mean you Jesus Christ, I love you!

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

If I ever get my penis lopped off, you can have it!

mcmeekle said:

I used the word lopped as I think it makes my penis sound bigger.

Lammastide said:

My friend is dating someone who is TG, but they met after the transition started, so it's a different situation. My friend does go through emotional rollercoasters because of it though

what's trippy about that show was the episode of the dudes who went to fem but wanted to go back to being dudes (minus the penises cut there aint no coming back from the slice n dice). that was an example, at least to me, that this is not simply a case of the brain not matching the shell but rather some form of mental illness.

there was another show or rather "special" some years back on DatelineNBC or maybe PBS that focused on 4 guys and one gal who transitioned and then regreted it. then there are many folks who never go with the genital reassignment which is even more loopier. i wonder how many people who think they are TG are actually being misdiagnosed and have some other mental issue going on.

that doctor in colorado who does many of the surgeries still looks like a dude to me.

EmeraldSkies said:

Wouldn't there be signs before this conversation happens? Like they are borrowing your underwear or studying you a little too much? How can once keep that a total 100% secret from their spouse whom they live with and are intimate with? I would just get a divorce and walk away. far far away. If my man was a cross dresser only, say like rudy guilliani lol and doing that shit for some weird fun/kick, maybe i wouldn't trip that much. that is if he looked good, if he looked fugly and was tryna hang with me at the club then no, I'm out!!!!

DesireeNevermind said:

I don't know. Like the 2 women on that show,they were not even sure what was going on with them until they saw a show on TV talking about TG. They had both been married multiple times,and one of them had children. It was like they were aware that something was not right about themselves,but they could'nt figure out what it was,until they saw the shows about TG. That is when they had there (as Oprah puts it) AH HA! moment.
[Edited 4/21/09 16:52pm]

DesireeNevermind said:

a popular misconception is that all TG's have the bottom surgery.

EmeraldSkies said:

WOW. I wonder if its more difficult for women because of the whole hormonal and period thing and even pregnancy. I mean that's gotta factor into the relationship you have with your body and how you view "living in it". Like that chick/dude that calls herself pregnant man. I say "she" cuz she kept the most feminine parts. from the neck up she looks like a dude and not even that much when she lost the facial hair. she kept her vagina, uterus, tubes the whole shebang. she just cant nurse the babies.

This and Autism are two disorders that really make me scratch my head and go "HUH?" Plus when you hear stories about people saying they knew when they were 3 or 4, I'm thinking how do you even conceptualize gender (society's concept) at that age. Many households can be gender neutral e.g. not a lot of discussion or outward expressions in the form of mannerisms, clothing, dos and donts. I hardly ever see Moms these days wearing dresses or makeup or acting in any particular way. As you get older the stereotypes are more defined but at age 3 what are you looking at exactly that screams male or female? Maybe its a chromosome imbalance. Its fascinating to say the least.

ehuffnsd said:

but then aren't you just a crossdresser if dont have the surgery that actually makes you transision from one to the other. To me the concept is misleading since ur not really changing genders as all the parts aren't there. I dunno, I guess I'm trying to figure out why if one feels they are in the wrong body, wouldn't they change the body.

DesireeNevermind said:

no, for instance for FTM, the genital reassignment surgery most of the time leaves you either with something that you can get hard but use the restroom or you can use the restroom but not get hard, and therefore felt not worth the trouble.

though it is more common for MTF to have the genital reassignment surgery not all have it for various reasons.

most, though not all, TG's do take hormone therapy and most have the top half of the surgery. Some MTF even go as far having facial feminization surgery.

DesireeNevermind said:

Transexuality exists on a specturm:

From Transvestites/more commonly referred to as Cross Dressers, mostly straight men who get off sexually on wearing the opposite genders clothing to the Transgender individual who feels they were born in the wrong body. It's not something that easily but in a box or understood.

cborgman said:

Good! I'll stop beating myself off, uh, UP over it.