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Printablepaintedlady said: MsMisha319 said: I think some people who like to "help" others also have a sense of power. When the roles are reversed, then they are powerless and feel like a charity case. It seems stupid, when you are coming from a sincere place in your heart, but it happens. You cannot help everyone; some won't allow you to.
Smooches;) true. I wonder if she read this would she understand my POV? That I just cared. I wouldn't doubt that she understands your POV now, but pride can be something else 
Smooches;) | |
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paintedlady said: ThreadBare said: Pride, plain and simple. Folks identify themselves as helpers and not in need of help. It can be a doozie.
I've been in the giver/helper role most of my life. But, when God allowed the tables to get turned, I realized I had a REAL HARD time asking for and accepting help from friends, parents and family. It was an eye-opening situation. It's taught me to be a lot realer with people, especially when I need something. Did you ever pull away from a friend because of it? Not from an individual friend. I withdrew, initially, from eerrybody. But, not from particular friends. | |
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ThreadBare said: paintedlady said: Did you ever pull away from a friend because of it? Not from an individual friend. I withdrew, initially, from eerrybody. But, not from particular friends.  She has done that sorta... she doesn't talk much to the other friends I know as well. But she still helps one of them. | |
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paintedlady said: ThreadBare said: Not from an individual friend. I withdrew, initially, from eerrybody. But, not from particular friends. She has done that sorta... she doesn't talk much to the other friends I know as well. But she still helps one of them.Yeah, it's a hard time. Not easy at all, if you're all hung up on always being the helper. | |
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Some people have that "need to be needed" thing happening - they feel important/know their purpose when helping someone else. They may even feel a bit superior. But when it's time for them to receive help they may feel ashamed about it & withdraw. It's strange...
I hope you two can reconnect at some point. Maybe there were other factors to her pulling away. Maybe her $$ situation had her feeling ashamed around many friends, not just you. Who knows, people are trippy & don't always understand the root causes of their own actions - they leave us guessing    I never met you, but I LOVE you & I will forever!! Thank you for being YOU - my little Princey, the best to EVER do it | |
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Maybe she just though you were mocking her fat ankles? Happy is he who finds out the causes for things.Virgil (70-19 BC). Virgil was such a lying bastard! | |
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CalhounSq said: Some people have that "need to be needed" thing happening - they feel important/know their purpose when helping someone else. They may even feel a bit superior. But when it's time for them to receive help they may feel ashamed about it & withdraw. It's strange...
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I hope you two can reconnect at some point. Maybe there were other factors to her pulling away. Maybe her $$ situation had her feeling ashamed around many friends, not just you. Who knows, people are trippy & don't always understand the root causes of their own actions - they leave us guessing I hope so too and you are right, there may be other stuff. I wish I knew exactly.. I called her again and left a message. So far, no response. We'll see. | |
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PREDOMINANT said: Maybe she just though you were mocking her fat ankles?
Naw, I had worse ankles when I was pregnant and she would be like 
so I told her that her ankles weren't bad at all... she would just need a better shoe..... maybe she thought I was mocking her shoes?  | |
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luv4u said: Sometimes it's a person's pride.
Pride would be half of the reason, the other half would be acceptance. Is there any place of refuge one can flee from this insanity | |
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I'm a giver but when I need help (financially), there is no one to turn to. | |
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Vendetta1 said: I'm a giver but when I need help (financially), there is no one to turn to.
In your situation, maybe accepting services rendered might be beneficial if your circle of peeps are lean with cash. It'll stretch your dollar. I did that with my sister. I did her entire family's heads, and gifted her with hair supplies she couldn't afford at the time (professional grade dryers, rollers, hair brushes, products.. etc.) ... she took care of my son for me while I worked. I also too care of her kids on my days off. Her family had free hairstyles, haircuts (for her son and hubby) for YEARS. Saved me lots of $$$. It was a blessing, and my son had a safe place to be while I worked 10 hour shifts 4 days a week at the salon. | |
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I'm a bit of both although I used to be just a giver. I enjoy being a giver because I enjoy seeing the smile on a person's face. My reward is in seeing someone happy. It used to be very hard to receive but I've come to the realization that I am worthy of someone doing something for me and its ok. | |
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