has anyone seen this show on MSNBC? How do you think you would handle it if your spouse said to you one day "I want to be a Man/Woman" ?

EmeraldSkies said:

i could i mean. i mean if i had a partner. i think i would fall in love with them not their genitals. i mean if they change gender they still remain the same personality. i don't know does that make me pansexual? i thought i bordered asexuality..
[Edited 4/18/09 11:19am]
[Edited 4/18/09 11:19am]

baroque said:

What he said. Wouldn't bother me any. More likely than not it'd take me by surprise, but I'd adjust. If I really loved the person it wouldn't be for what's between their legs anyway.

People divorce over loud snoring or bad smell but they'll gladly accept sex change, right

That would be the end of the sexual relationship if it was someone I was with. I want the junk to stay put. I'd still maintain the close friendship as much as possible, or at least I'd try. I'm sure I wouldn't stop caring about this hypothetical person, but the relationship would pretty much be over once the frank and beans were gone.
[Edited 4/18/09 14:47pm]

PANDURITO said:

I honestly would. And not just because I dig boys and girls equally, either. If I loved someone, it wouldn't be for what was between their legs but for who they are. Though to be honest, if the person in question was just a bed buddy I might dump them, since in that case is would be the body I was after.

meow85 said:

think about it like this the point of sex is climaxing and having a good time.
regardless of what the person has both people can reach to that point. hell even without genitals in question. i just assume it felt better when your in love with the person regardless of what gender they happen to be.

this is also in response to pandurito.
[Edited 4/18/09 17:24pm]

PANDURITO said:

see in that case sex was the majority of the relationship.
of course people need to divorce over superficial shit like that.

Yes, but the case we're discussing is admitting your beloved one has been always lying to you.
You don't wake up one day and decide you were born in the wrong body.

So...Is a long term lie acceptable in a relationship?

I'd be sympathetic towards him or her.

EmeraldSkies said:

.
[Edited 4/18/09 20:55pm]

I honestly would'nt be able to stay in the relationship. They might still be the person that you fell in love inside,but I am not physically attracted to women,so it be like having a relationship with someone that is now trapped in the shell of someone that you don't recognize anymore. We could stay friends,but that would be it for me.

what can i say? i'm a gay bottom. i'd always love him, but i need a dick

Well, if my spouse was a man, it would be kind of cool to have a vagina to fuck.
I rather like vaginas.

If my spouse was a woman, there's still an asshole I guess.


But honestly, it would be more than I could handle. I'd have to leave them. I'd feel really bad about it, but I've been left for far less.


I wonder how marriages normally end in situations like this?

baroque said:

That is very much true. However, if I'm with someone just for the sex chances are what they do or don't have played into the attraction for me. Love with sex is a great idea but IMO it's not necessary to have fun.

cborgman said:

No offense, it just came off (no pun intended) sounding funny.

iinthesky85 said:

it was meant to

cborgman said:

LMFAO! So with you on needin dick, but regardless of position, there's just one type of lovebelow-hole I'm willin to diddle.
[Edited 4/19/09 20:09pm]

Imago said:

I know a lesbian couple, one partner of which underwent procedures to become male. His partner at first was shocked! It effectively put her into an opposite-sex relationship, which she NEVER thought she'd be in!

But things worked out. They've been together for years now and they recently bore a child with help from a donor friend.

I would probably leave.

Because I feel that the person knew about how they felt before we got together. I just think its rather selfish for that person to get involved in a relationship when they are not sure about themself.

johnart said:

you said "diddle"

I just don't know. But it would definitely be a test of all tests.

Wow... this is a trippy one for me, as my marriage has rather unconventional dynamics to begin with.

I'm gay and married to a woman. I am naturally inclined toward a sort of male aesthetic, sensibility, unnamable energy, yet part of what I've come to love about my wife is the way she wears her individual femininity. If she one day resolved that she'd live a more fulfilling life as a male, I'd support her... but I honestly don't know if I'd be capable of sustaining a partnership. The sum of what my spouse currently is would be substantively "recalculated," if that makes sense. And I don't know if I'd be struck by that new combination.

johnart said:

top, you have no idea...

I feel ya chris
I guess I am shallow too, I mean I have girlfriends and gay friends already. I need a husband and even though I'd still love him/her, the marriage would be over and I'd be looking for more dick and husband lovin

also sometimes people lie to themselves for far longer than they should.It's really not about the partner in the relationship. Can you imagine how hard is must be to finally admit that to yourself, knowing that the people in your life will be affected and may abandon you for it? I don't think that is selfish, I think that is fear.I know that would scare the shit outta me. Once the fear has been conquered the level of emancipation must be mind blowing. No I don't think that is selfish at all really, sad more than anything.

Lammastide said:

You were one of those persons, weren't you?

This is the org. You have nothing to hide.

Imago said:

I'd have remained a woman. They've got better wardrobe choices.

Lammastide said:

that story is just so hardcore. I'd stop my romantic relationship but never my intimate one.

butterfli25 said:

EmeraldSkies said:

well, i'm lucky. i've worked with the TG community and i've taken workshops and read books and so on. it's not something i consider shocking or transgressive. of course, i would naturally freak out more than just a bit if my partner came to me with the news that he wanted to be a she, and it would certainly effect the future of our relationship, but i would hope however we decide to let the decision alter our relationship would be done in a way where i could still honor and support my partner, regardless of whatever.
[Edited 4/20/09 19:22pm]

EmeraldSkies said:

For one thing, he would have to start shaving his legs.