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I'm lonely and need someone to talk to No one wants to go with me to a gay old school retro jam tonight  so I'm staying in. Talk to me. How is life? | |
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Why not go by yourself?? Nothing wrong with that. Go!!!! Enjoy your evening. 
Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture! REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince "I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben |
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moderatorI don't know. Thing is , I like spending time by myself going out, but it gets lonely and I don't want to feel like a loser or make myself vulnerable, even though when I bring people along, it's more of my interest than theirs and I feel like they are being polite.
I'm a high achiever right now on the outside, but really I lack confidence in everything I do, and even though I'm not alone, I'm still lonely. [Edited 4/10/09 16:43pm] | |
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You'll have fun meeting people at the retro jam, you won't be as lonely as you feel.
Come on..... get ready to go out and have fun, get outta the dumps! 
Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture! REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince "I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben |
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By myself? A part of me wants to wear whatever I want with no limitation and dance my ass off and alienate everyone around me, but I'm afraid of being by myself. I took work off tomorrow on purpose so i could party tonight and forget everything | |
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alphastreet said: By myself? A part of me wants to wear whatever I want with no limitation and dance my ass off and alienate everyone around me, but I'm afraid of being by myself. I took work off tomorrow on purpose so i could party tonight and forget everything
Once you start dancing your ass off you will forget about being by yourself, surrounded by other people. Dance!  
Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture! REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince "I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben |
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sometimes I feel like I'm very delusional and get attached easily to ideas and thoughts and in my own fantasy world. Even though I'm successful right now, I just don't feel complete as a whole at all and live with a lot of anxiety and fear. | |
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luv4u said: alphastreet said: By myself? A part of me wants to wear whatever I want with no limitation and dance my ass off and alienate everyone around me, but I'm afraid of being by myself. I took work off tomorrow on purpose so i could party tonight and forget everything
Once you start dancing your ass off you will forget about being by yourself, surrounded by other people. Dance! I want to heheh but I also have back issues and it's depressing not being able to dance the way I want to without being in chronic pain the next day | |
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I was supposed to go to church but put it off even though I got a lecture from my grandma and friend. I wish I went first and then went out, so now I feel bad. | |
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alphastreet said: sometimes I feel like I'm very delusional and get attached easily to ideas and thoughts and in my own fantasy world. Even though I'm successful right now, I just don't feel complete as a whole at all and live with a lot of anxiety and fear.
Wow dude I feel that way all the time, and I'm relatively straight. If I were there I'd go with you. | |
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iinthesky85 said: alphastreet said: sometimes I feel like I'm very delusional and get attached easily to ideas and thoughts and in my own fantasy world. Even though I'm successful right now, I just don't feel complete as a whole at all and live with a lot of anxiety and fear.
Wow dude I feel that way all the time, and I'm relatively straight. If I were there I'd go with you. When I go out to places like these and there are pics on facebook, for those few minutes I feel like I'm on top of the world, and that my friends see me as someone so successful and like I have everything going for me. In a way I do, but I also lack confidence and am very lost right now inside and my emotions are not straight. I have fantasies about becoming famous and being loved though I know that's not how it works and there is criticism more than that, but if I do few things like partying or something entertaining, I feel like I'm on top of the world for a few minutes, get high off my fantasy and feel like the happiest person on earth, but when that's gone, it's a HUGE drop down adn I feel like a worthless piece of shit and feel like people are nice to me cause they feel sorry for me, cause I have no personality or sense of humor and fail at being funny and outgoing. | |
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alphastreet said: iinthesky85 said: Wow dude I feel that way all the time, and I'm relatively straight. If I were there I'd go with you. When I go out to places like these and there are pics on facebook, for those few minutes I feel like I'm on top of the world, and that my friends see me as someone so successful and like I have everything going for me. In a way I do, but I also lack confidence and am very lost right now inside and my emotions are not straight. I have fantasies about becoming famous and being loved though I know that's not how it works and there is criticism more than that, but if I do few things like partying or something entertaining, I feel like I'm on top of the world for a few minutes, get high off my fantasy and feel like the happiest person on earth, but when that's gone, it's a HUGE drop down adn I feel like a worthless piece of shit and feel like people are nice to me cause they feel sorry for me, cause I have no personality or sense of humor and fail at being funny and outgoing. First of all we are our own worst critics. i have never meant ANYONE with no persoality or sense of humor. And i can swear to that because if you have no sense of humor I'd avoid you like the plague. And i say thsi, not beacause I feel sorry for you, but I feel for you because I've been there (and may even still be there). We all have fantasies but we need to focus on reality. And the reeality is you're a lot more precious then you wanna allow yourself to be. Go by yourself. Be yourself. I guarantee you won't leave alone. | |
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I myself have wanted to go dancing but wouldn't want to go by myself either.
Why not just stay home and dance to your own music? Or is it because you wanted to go out and meet others? | |
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i used 2 go 2 3121 all the time by myself, and i had a ball!!!!!  | |
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alphastreet said: iinthesky85 said: Wow dude I feel that way all the time, and I'm relatively straight. If I were there I'd go with you. When I go out to places like these and there are pics on facebook, for those few minutes I feel like I'm on top of the world, and that my friends see me as someone so successful and like I have everything going for me. In a way I do, but I also lack confidence and am very lost right now inside and my emotions are not straight. I have fantasies about becoming famous and being loved though I know that's not how it works and there is criticism more than that, but if I do few things like partying or something entertaining, I feel like I'm on top of the world for a few minutes, get high off my fantasy and feel like the happiest person on earth, but when that's gone, it's a HUGE drop down adn I feel like a worthless piece of shit and feel like people are nice to me cause they feel sorry for me, cause I have no personality or sense of humor and fail at being funny and outgoing. You have fantasies about being famous, but some of the most famous people in the world are the most lonelinest. I know that you're an MJ fan, and you like Prince too. We've spoke before in the non-Prince forum, that's how I know. You can read here about Prince, and at 50 years old, he's trying to get it together. MJ said in his autobiography despite his fame, he is the lonliness person. I'm sure there are other celebrities that feel the same way. I wanted to try out for the business in the 90's, but I had people in my life tell me it's no walk in the park. At times, I dream about it too, but I also think about the price of fame. Many of us define happiness by what we have, and just being around lots of people. How can you get to know and love yourself if you're not alone? While you're alone, take some time with God and share your thoughts. It's not too late and don't feel bad because you've misssed out on going to church. You'll be surprise how many lonely people on this earth, and it's not the end of your world. [Edited 4/10/09 18:13pm] | |
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alphastreet said: No one wants to go with me to a gay old school retro jam tonight
so I'm staying in. Talk to me. How is life?
What you wanna talk about? | |
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angel345 said: alphastreet said: When I go out to places like these and there are pics on facebook, for those few minutes I feel like I'm on top of the world, and that my friends see me as someone so successful and like I have everything going for me. In a way I do, but I also lack confidence and am very lost right now inside and my emotions are not straight. I have fantasies about becoming famous and being loved though I know that's not how it works and there is criticism more than that, but if I do few things like partying or something entertaining, I feel like I'm on top of the world for a few minutes, get high off my fantasy and feel like the happiest person on earth, but when that's gone, it's a HUGE drop down adn I feel like a worthless piece of shit and feel like people are nice to me cause they feel sorry for me, cause I have no personality or sense of humor and fail at being funny and outgoing. You have fantasies about being famous, but some of the most famous people in the world are the most lonelinest. I know that you're an MJ fan, and you like Prince too. We've spoke before in the non-Prince forum, that's how I know. You can read here about Prince, and at 50 years old, he's trying to get it together. MJ said in his autobiography despite his fame, he is the lonliness person. I'm sure there are other celebrities that feel the same way. I wanted to try out for the business in the 90's, but I had people in my life tell me it's no walk in the park. At times, I dream about it too, but I also think about the price of fame. Many of us define happiness by what we have, and just being around lots of people. How can you get to know and love yourself if you're not alone? While you're alone, take some time with God and share your thoughts. It's not too late and don't feel bad because you've misssed out on going to church. You'll be surprise how many lonely people on this earth, and it's not the end of your world. [Edited 4/10/09 18:13pm] yes, I identify with mj very much. I criticize him a lot too, but in many ways, I see myself when I see him. This is good and bad for me. I love music too and I know I am capable of reaching his level of talent if I discipline myself, I already know that and I've attracted some very good accomplishments; but at the same time, I have a lot of self-esteem issues from an early age. And I know I don't want to be famous cause it's not the best thing ever emotionally and i'm already very fragile, and he is an also an example of how cruel the world can be to someone for being a black sheep, which is what I am in many ways. I naturally have pale skin and dark hair and people used to joke I look like him, but now that annoys me even though that doesn't stop me from dressing like a hipster or rock star sometimes, and feeling good about it. | |
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wildgoldenhoney said: I myself have wanted to go dancing but wouldn't want to go by myself either.
Why not just stay home and dance to your own music? Or is it because you wanted to go out and meet others? it would be nice to meet others, but I'm scared about it too. I don't want to be vulnerable. | |
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A gay retro jam sounds fun. Wish I could go with.
Cheer up!  | |
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iinthesky85 said: alphastreet said: When I go out to places like these and there are pics on facebook, for those few minutes I feel like I'm on top of the world, and that my friends see me as someone so successful and like I have everything going for me. In a way I do, but I also lack confidence and am very lost right now inside and my emotions are not straight. I have fantasies about becoming famous and being loved though I know that's not how it works and there is criticism more than that, but if I do few things like partying or something entertaining, I feel like I'm on top of the world for a few minutes, get high off my fantasy and feel like the happiest person on earth, but when that's gone, it's a HUGE drop down adn I feel like a worthless piece of shit and feel like people are nice to me cause they feel sorry for me, cause I have no personality or sense of humor and fail at being funny and outgoing. First of all we are our own worst critics. i have never meant ANYONE with no persoality or sense of humor. And i can swear to that because if you have no sense of humor I'd avoid you like the plague. And i say thsi, not beacause I feel sorry for you, but I feel for you because I've been there (and may even still be there). We all have fantasies but we need to focus on reality. And the reeality is you're a lot more precious then you wanna allow yourself to be. Go by yourself. Be yourself. I guarantee you won't leave alone. well you just might avoid me like the plague cause i have no sense of humor, I'm a dork. | |
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johnart said: A gay retro jam sounds fun. Wish I could go with.
Cheer up! me too. There is still time to go but it started already, and I'm getting a terrible headache. I suffer from chronic back and head pain. | |
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alphastreet said: johnart said: A gay retro jam sounds fun. Wish I could go with.
Cheer up! me too. There is still time to go but it started already, and I'm getting a terrible headache. I suffer from chronic back and head pain. Take some ibuprofren! You could still go for a bit! It's better to get out and get some fresh air and be with living breathing human beings....you could just be checking out their clothes, or checking their dance moves, but as long as you're out there exchanging energy that's all that matters....otherwise you'll be sitting here with us, and it's sorta hard to show you how to do the moonwalk or the robot through a computer screen  | |
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alphastreet said: iinthesky85 said: First of all we are our own worst critics. i have never meant ANYONE with no persoality or sense of humor. And i can swear to that because if you have no sense of humor I'd avoid you like the plague. And i say thsi, not beacause I feel sorry for you, but I feel for you because I've been there (and may even still be there). We all have fantasies but we need to focus on reality. And the reeality is you're a lot more precious then you wanna allow yourself to be. Go by yourself. Be yourself. I guarantee you won't leave alone. well you just might avoid me like the plague cause i have no sense of humor, I'm a dork. I'm a dork too! Or so I've been told. And I don't believe you about the sense of humor. Sorry you didn't get to go. | |
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I ended up calling a distress hotline to vent and felt much better
I totally agree with what you said about energy though! Even if I don't meet people, I would bond with them over the same type of music we love and let myself get inspired. And no, I don't just do mj moves, I do what I feel like doing for the moment LOL This morning some girl replied back and said "I love r&b and hip hop you bum" lol cause I was saying if she wants to go out, I like this club and that club and so forth, and made it clear I don't like HER music" :p ok I do like r&b and hip hop but I'm so tired of it and hate the fact the whole world lives off it, and sometimes come off as snotty about it. Then one friend was willing to go with me until I told him it's a gay club. Who cares if it's gay or not? The music was good and even before I came out to myself, I would still go to them sometimes cause they're more openminded and receptive in general about everything from what I've seen so far. | |
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Still feeling down in the dumps, but heading to my dad's for a barbeque. Some of his awesome friends will be there | |
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hey everyone, thanks for your support
I do still have moments of anxiety though that affect how I work and live, yesterday was a shitty day | |
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alphastreet said: hey everyone, thanks for your support
I do still have moments of anxiety though that affect how I work and live, yesterday was a shitty day What happened yesterday? | |
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luv4u said: Why not go by yourself?? Nothing wrong with that. Go!!!! Enjoy your evening.
Especially if you're gay! Just party! 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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Oh just something at work, it's over now
and I'm bi, I still have a thing for guys too. I still feel like shit, but luckily today is a day off. | |
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