My child's teacher talked to me the other day and asked me couple of questions that I TRULY don't feel, very absured. Where's her father? Is she having problems at home? Does she have a problem connecting with ppl, the bitch even went far by comparing her to abused kids

All of that just becoz my child is the type of quite shy kid who isolate herself from ppl, tell me ya'll please whats so wrong about that?? I know whats on my kid's mind and I know what she feels becoz I've been there, gawd isn't that enough?? Yes, I spend my childhood time like that and I neva had any problems AND finaly I grew up 2 be a very healthy independent lady. I used to get mad as hell when I see some teacher talk 2 my mother about this and now I see the same damn thang happens 2 my daughter. It hurt me and it'll hurt her.

Why can't ppl mind their own biz when they see someone who's private and quite?? Why do they make them feel like they're sick or unstable?? Goddness, why all that drama?? Quite/private/shy ppl have no problem, matta o' fact when you dig deep down their personalities you'll find them the smartest most loving creatures on earth but some ppl don't wanna believe that, hell nah they wanna believe that they'll turn out to be serial killers when they grow up.

Man, I can't type no more, I have to chill

Tell me ya'll please, whats so wrong about my daughter? I don't want my kid go through what I went throught, I don't want her to feel hurt when ppl keep staring at her like they're waiting 4 to speak up.

Am I over reacting??

I'm really sorry 4 the angry post, I just don't know what to do.

It's a trip when a teacher asks so many personal questions, especially if they cross the line. I feel 4 u...

I have volunteered with both my boy's classes, once a week and sit on the board with the Parent Club... our school's version of the PTA.

I've gotten 2 know the teachers very well, and have some reservations with a couple of teachers who teach at the school (I will never allow my child 2 b taught by this teacher!) Luckily, I love the teachers my kids have!

My take on this is that perhaps the teacher was just trying 2 understand ur child a little better. She could have approached it in a more tactful manner, and less intrusively. Also, perhaps u can get 2 know the teacher a little better... u'd b amazed at how "human" they really r. My little boy's 1st grade teacher is a blast outside of the classroom!

Hope ur daughter doesn't let this get in her way... I'm sure she'll turn out great! If she turns out anything like her mom, she's gonna b fine!

from me 2 u, Harlepolis!!!

June 7-Thank you so much 4 the support.

The teacher is actualy a very nice person and the kids love her so much(Including my daughter). But what I don't love is why does she predect that there's actualy a problem?? Just becoz she see a very quite kid doesn't mean there's a problem.

Some teachers are too lazy 2 dig someone's personality thats why they say alot of disrespecting thing. Why can't she get 2 know the kid and anderstand her instead of calling her mother and make he life a living hell by what she say.

I used 2 go through this June7, my mother was like "Whats wrong with you Aisha?",,,Nothing is wrong with me dammit!!

Thanx again 4 the support. I just needed to split that out.

Don't take offense to it Harlepolis. If anything be thankful. These teachers see so much and sometimes it's too late for them to look into it further. I think it's their duty to do this. Can you imagine how they feel when they think something is going on and don't do anything about it?

If anything I would look at it as if she really cares about her students, and that's a wonderful thing!

I understand why you'd be upset. There was probably a different (and better) way for her to approach the subject with you. If she's a new, inexperienced, teacher or if she's never been shy herself, your daughters shyness may have looked like something else to her.
I'm sure things will work out for the best.

I think it is a teacher's responsibility to ask questions..Don't take offense, it is up to you to console your daughter, and to make her feel like she is on top of the world.

I was quiet, too! Now look at me, I'm still quiet... heh,heh

I do hope your day is better.

sag10 said:

I was a very quiet child at school when I was a younger kid, and rarely ever spoke. A counselor once called my mother and father in for the same reason. Of course, they too, took offense to it.

Some kids are just quiet! Your kid will probably grow out of it before you know it. However, though I'm not so shy at school anymore, I still find myself being particularly quiet around adults...

Anyways, I suppose perhaps it was just a way to make sure your daughter IS okay...Though I can't imagine if you did ask a parent who really did abuse their kid if they would answer those questions truthfully.

don't sweat it, harle. the teacher is probably just looking out for your baby.

i was the same way as a munchkin. and i turned out pretty good.

Harlepolis

chill girl. This is standard operating procedure for some teachers etc..they dont take into consideration different dispostions..you gotta be mary mary flippin your hair, part of the crowd, the class brain or clown...

See, I knew I was right.

A lot of you folks were quite n' private when you were kids and look at you now(very smart loving ppl that I've the upmost pleasure 2 talk to) but why assume bad things 2 a child?? I already know that she was looking up 2 my kid but at least she would get to know the kid a lil' mo' betta instead asking Qs like my kid is sick or something. Hell, thats her jop 2 anderstand my kid.

I was more quite n' private when I was a child more than my daughter. Hell, I didn't even change LOL I only have a big mouth when I'm online but in real life you def wouldn't see me talking a lot. I see it as a good thang becoz when I speak everybody listen closely to what I say.

June7 said:

I have to agree with June7 here. Although some questions are out of the scope of what's going on and intrusive, it may not have been the teacher's intention. And at the same time, certainly a teacher should know that being quiet and/or self-isolation isn't the exclusive symptom of being abused.

Just as some adults are sometimes misunderstood, so are some kids. For older kids and many adults being quiet and shy is sometimes misconstrued as being standoff-ish, aloof, and just plain cold. It's not always the case. Shyness is a very complex personality trait when you get beyond the surface.

As long as you keep the communication open with your daughter I'm sure that would go a long way. But along with that, I would hope this teacher is treating your daughter the same way she treats her other students, regardless of your daughter being quiet and shy. As an adult you eventually learn that school is part of the social process growing up, there's a good chance she may gradually change. But as long as she's learning and has the option of more communication in and out of the classroom, I'm not sure if changing from quiet and shy really matters.

rdhull said:

I anderstand that RD

But I don't want to,,hell even my kid don't want to and I do believe that none of us will hurt nobody by what we do.

We're the type of ppl who find their comfort when we're (alone!) I'm sure some of ya'll relate to this and know exaclty what I'm talking about.

Supernova said:

I know how to connect with my daughter, it was harder in my mother's case becoz she didn't know how to dea with me as a young lady but me, I know how deal in my daughter's case.

In our case, its not really easy to split something out just like that *finger snap* but thankfuly, she's walking on my shoes there4 I know when & how 2 talk to her and whats good is she's very open when's around me.

Its just takes more hard work 2 dig deep down 2 know whats on their mind thats all. It may sound complicated 2 most of ya'll but on the real?? It isn't at all. Nothing more than a hard work?

If you really wanna go the extra mile here to build a relationship with her teacher, let her know how her questions made you feel in a polite, constructive manner. As some have stated, her heart was in the right place. It would be much, much worse if a teacher genuinely thought something might be wrong and did nothing.
On the other hand, her conversation/relationship building skills seem to be lacking. By letting her know that you truly appreciate her concern, and applaud her for it, but that her approach felt intrusive, or maybe even bordering on accusatory, and how that made you feel as a parent, this will help her learn how to handle these situations in the future, not to mention learn quite a bit about you and your daughter.

Good luck!

Harlepolis said:

I know it

I talked 2 the woman 2day and we got it 2ghether. I've realized that this person speak her mind alot but I told her about her WRONG way of appraoching this problem. Anyway, she was a good listener and glad that she anderstood what I said.

Thank you ppl 4 the wonderful support(esp you June7) really needed that and you guys didn't let me wait

Again, I'm really sorry 4 this angry post ya'll, I was so mad I needed 2 split something up so I made this topic. It won't happen again, I promise

Peace

Wow! That's fantastic!

I'm glad that I somehow made a difference, but no need 2 thank me, just glad that all is well!

...and if u can't bitch here, where can u bitch?



Much love, Harlepolis!!!