I'm trying to apply for a job that deals with animals...I have no experience. What kind of things should I say in my cover letter?

I poke em with a stick and beat em with a hammer?

Cuddles said:

reminds me of something I saw on tv.

My advice is to stress your strengths in other areas then. After all, you may not have experience working with animals, but perhaps you "work well with others" and can provide instances of when you had to work on a team. You could also stress other things that would put you ahead of others, such as communication skills, punctuality, work ethics, and desire to work with animals.

I teach school, but do not have children of my own. I suppose saying I've baby-sat or observed other people's children in car seats when stopped at stoplights would not qualify me for such job. In your situation, think about what other skills and talents you have that can makeup for any lack of experience actually working with animals.