Okay..I will be honest...and I hope everyone here will understand...

My Mother is a very heartless woman, she was extremely abusive (emotional and physical) while I was growing up. She judges folks before she meets them, she can be very two faced. She talks behind people's backs, but is friendly to them face to face. She can take a happy and proud moment in your life, and find everything that is wrong with it, making you feel like garbage, and that make that very thing you are proud of seem like nothing. Sadly, I can't trust her, but I find myself always seeking her approval. Which of course I will NEVER get. She is older, in her mid 70's now, but even in old age, she continues to hurt me. Will I be sad when she is gone, Yes, but will it give me a sense of freedom, Yes. Do I love her, sure she was my Mother, do I love her the way a daughter should love her Mother, NO!

This statement might make me seem bitter, or hateful, but after years of physical and emotional abuse, I feel I have a right to feel this way. The way she treated me has and will forever effect who I am.

According to my mother...and I quote..."I was only doing what Jehovah told me to do! Spare the rod, spoil the child. I did what was right by Bible standards. If you want to blame anyone, blame Jehovah for giving me the guidelines to go by. All I wanted was for you to serve God and not be destroyed at Armageddon. Is that so wrong?" (I have memorized her speech)

YES, MOM! It was wrong for you to mentally and physically abuse me and make me feel as if I was going to surely die by having my tongue rot out of my mouth. It was wrong to show me those images of people being killed and telling me that I could have no friends because they would all die anyway. It was wrong to beat me with a stick until I bled because I cried and didn't want to sit for two hours when I was 10 in a hot arena until I stuck to the seat just so you could make sure I heard about Armageddon coming.

It was wrong to belittle me because I wanted to excel in school and I was smart. It was wrong to tell me that I would never amount to anything if I didn't serve Jehovah and go out in field service on holidays.

I'm through...

I am so very sorry that you had to go through all that April . You can be so very proud you became the caring, wonderful woman you are .