I know you've seen this before...but winter is long and memories are short.

I swear on Baby Jesus to follow The Rules when I wear sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl's if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes look like they've been dragged behind her car on the way to work and no sandal in the world is going to make her feet look good.

I will promise if I wear flip flops, that I will ensure they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

I will promise to go my local beauty school at least once per season and have a real pedicure (they are about $15 and worth EVERY penny). I say spend another $15.00 and get a even better one.

I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show of wear... nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.

For all our sakes, please don't keep this to yourself - pass it on to Other Sisters. May God have mercy on your soles!

<---ready to hand out citations.

I'll do my best.

goddamn


I always wondered why it takes Anxiety so long to get ready.

Imago said:

for him ----->




ALL THAT over a foot

Men need to follow the rules, too. I enjoy seeing random crusty soles and hairy toes about as much as I enjoy seeing random dick. Which is to say, not at all.

Genesia said:

First part, never. Second part,

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

If it weren't for the possibility of seeing random dick, I'd hardly ever leave the house!

Not so big on the crusty soles, though.

Mods, can we make this a sticky?
[Edited 3/16/09 10:55am]

violator said:

And smelly?

Genesia said:

YES!!!

violator said:

violator said:

Okay, I'm flattered but

Genesia said:

It's probably already sticky from the cheesy toe schaltz

Let's call it a way of life instead of rules

I hate rules in every way; I'd rather go barefoot.

MarySharon said:

Ummmm...I think that's what this thread is about. Being semi-barefoot while not grossing out the rest of the world.

I do swear!

Genesia said:

I agree when it's all about hygiene (I can't help it, anytime I read the word "sandals" I'm always seeing stilettos)

MarySharon said:

Oh, it doesn't matter what kind of sandals a person wants to wear (or if they'd rather go barefoot). Just as long as it isn't flipflops that they're dragging along the pavement. I will give the stank eye to lazyasses who can't pick up their feet.

It's all about the condition of the feet (and shoes).

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I love sandals in summer so I will be having pedis, however I refuse to shave my toes. I do enough hair removal already.
Also, as a dude, I don't want my feet to look OVERLY pretty. Just neat.


Where's obsessed??? She likes my feet.

OH and...
Random dick.

johnart said:

Your feet are nice. Sweetie has good-lookin' feet, too. Of course, he gets pedis, as well.

Not that I suggested it or anything...

johnart said:

You have awesome feet!

Mine:



The blue toed one

fyi guys can keep the hair on their feet/toes, pending that their feet are otherwise fit to wear sandals
[Edited 3/16/09 15:15pm]

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I could work with those. But we gotta loose the Smurf polish.

johnart said:

It was Holiday

Oh, did you ever see the thread I posted where someone used my foot?!

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

USED???
Please clarify.

johnart said:

http://prince.org/msg/100/230105

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I won't even try and act prudish about it.