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PrintableCinnie said: thekidsgirl said: We aren't living in perfect times now, but I find that the world is a bit more accepting of homosexuality in some places....
If she feels comfortable wearing a tux to prom and going witha girl, chances are that she has a supportive circle of friends and doesn't feel afraid When I was in high school, several girls wore masculine formal wear to prom and they were amoung the most popular girls there. Especially one girl who wore a top hat and pimp cane 
I think she was voted one of the "best dressed" What was your grad year? 2003  If you will, so will I | |
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Cinnie said: Even if she did get taunted, I don't think she would blame YOU... she wouldn't say "how could you let me go to a high school prom in a tux".
She is making her own choice here, and the "acceptance" she is looking for is way more important from her own mom than some kids she won't see again for years. Thanks Cinnie. | |
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raveon2tnek said: [bait snip - CarrieMpls]
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FunkMistress said: Don't let people's narrow-mindedness and fear keep you from being a strong, loving, supportive mother to your baby.
That includes the fear of taunts  | |
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it's hard but i would think what she will remember most regardless of how anyone else treats her is if her parents had her back or not. 
my neice started dying her hair purple and wearing clothes held together with saftey pins when she was in highschool. her grandmother was ashamed at first but has realized the girl inside didn't change. now sarah's come out as gay and we just want her to be happy. i'm thankful kids have the opportunity to find themselves at a younger age instead of denying it like some in previous generations felt they had to. btw two girls wore tuxes when i was in school 18 (  ) years ago. one was gay one just was never ever going to wear a dress for nobody. lol She couldn't stop crying 'cause she knew he was gone to stay | |
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FunkMistress said: keyiemo said: I tried that..I told her to just wear a pantsuit...but she says she wants to wear a tux. There's a girl she likes whose mother has called me to quote scripture about how this is wrong & how my daughter has convinced her daughter to "come out"....she wants to go with her but I don't think it's happening. Tell that mother to go fuck herself. Or start quoting scripture to her about how you're not supposed to wear certain fabrics together, or how she must sacrifice a bull on Fridays, or any other arbitrary stuff that can be pulled from scripture as people see fit. Don't let people's narrow-mindedness and fear keep you from being a strong, loving, supportive mother to your baby. A great site about how people pick and choose verses from the Bible to support bigotry while ignoring others: http://www.fallwell.com/i...erses.html The Normal Whores Club | |
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FunkMistress said: keyiemo said: I tried that..I told her to just wear a pantsuit...but she says she wants to wear a tux. There's a girl she likes whose mother has called me to quote scripture about how this is wrong & how my daughter has convinced her daughter to "come out"....she wants to go with her but I don't think it's happening. Tell that mother to go fuck herself. Or start quoting scripture to her about how you're not supposed to wear certain fabrics together, or how she must sacrifice a bull on Fridays, or any other arbitrary stuff that can be pulled from scripture as people see fit. Don't let people's narrow-mindedness and fear keep you from being a strong, loving, supportive mother to your baby. She gets on my everlasting nerves...she even tried to get us to go to kingdom hall with her last Sunday. And then she asked us to come over so we could sit and discuss this but I didn't go. Later her daughter told my daughter that she'd invited someone from church to talk to us.  | |
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keyiemo said: Cinnie said: I don't know about TUX because that is definitely designed for men to wear, but if she doesn't want to wear a dress, maybe she can wear a satin pant suit like all the tomboys (Ellen Degeneres, Janet Jackson) wear to award ceremonies.
Is she currently dating a female that would reliably appear at the prom with her? [Edited 3/15/09 9:29am] I tried that..I told her to just wear a pantsuit...but she says she wants to wear a tux. There's a girl she likes whose mother has called me to quote scripture about how this is wrong & how my daughter has convinced her daughter to "come out"....she wants to go with her but I don't think it's happening. I would still say, just for style's sake, PUSH THE PANT SUIT
You seem to have a very strong minded child so she'll probably end up getting a tux. That religious mom is probably just as concerned about her daughter so I won't try to bad talk that lady too much. But that mom won't be ready to send her daughter off on a lesbian prom date anytime soon. That has nothing to do with you or your daughter though! | |
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thekidsgirl said: We aren't living in perfect times now, but I find that the world is a bit more accepting of homosexuality in some places....
If she feels comfortable wearing a tux to prom and going witha girl, chances are that she has a supportive circle of friends and doesn't feel afraid When I was in high school, several girls wore masculine formal wear to prom and they were amoung the most popular girls there. Especially one girl who wore a top hat and pimp cane
I think she was voted one of the "best dressed" She mentioned going all out and doing this. | |
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FunkMistress said: I should also say this: It is so clear that you love your daughter very much. Kudos to you for reaching out for some support on this. You seem to want to do the right thing, and "the right thing" isn't as clear-cut for you as you wish it would be.
agreed She couldn't stop crying 'cause she knew he was gone to stay | |
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keyiemo said: FunkMistress said: Tell that mother to go fuck herself. Or start quoting scripture to her about how you're not supposed to wear certain fabrics together, or how she must sacrifice a bull on Fridays, or any other arbitrary stuff that can be pulled from scripture as people see fit. Don't let people's narrow-mindedness and fear keep you from being a strong, loving, supportive mother to your baby. She gets on my everlasting nerves...she even tried to get us to go to kingdom hall with her last Sunday. And then she asked us to come over so we could sit and discuss this but I didn't go. Later her daughter told my daughter that she'd invited someone from church to talk to us. Wow. It's difficult when people may genuinely believe that they're helping you, when in reality they're being incredibly rude and displaying all kinds of bad manners. If she kept a dirty house, would you send the damn Merry Maids over to "talk to her"? The Normal Whores Club | |
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Cinnie said: I would still say, just for style's sake, PUSH THE PANT SUIT
 She couldn't stop crying 'cause she knew he was gone to stay | |
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keyiemo said: FunkMistress said: Tell that mother to go fuck herself. Or start quoting scripture to her about how you're not supposed to wear certain fabrics together, or how she must sacrifice a bull on Fridays, or any other arbitrary stuff that can be pulled from scripture as people see fit. Don't let people's narrow-mindedness and fear keep you from being a strong, loving, supportive mother to your baby. She gets on my everlasting nerves...she even tried to get us to go to kingdom hall with her last Sunday. And then she asked us to come over so we could sit and discuss this but I didn't go. Later her daughter told my daughter that she'd invited someone from church to talk to us. I knew it was Jehovah's Witness before you even said anything about Kingdom Hall. Trust me, her daughter won't be attending the prom with another girl (unfortunately). | |
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Cinnie said: You know... someone who really didn't want to be "out" would easily choose to conform to choosing an opposite-sex date, and a tux or dress that everyone else is wearing.
I think even the prom dresses at my high school looked the same and if someone chose a different dress they would get the
So I imagine that with the self-awareness she has, she would already be aware of the reaction she might suffer and handle bravely. She will feel MORE brave with the support of her mom and teachers. I like that idea of getting faculty support if at all possible, and maybe they can let you know that it would be no big deal. There's always personalities that want to stand out from the rest and others that don't, regardless of orientation. Thanks Cinnie!! | |
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FunkMistress said: I should also say this: It is so clear that you love your daughter very much. Kudos to you for reaching out for some support on this. You seem to want to do the right thing, and "the right thing" isn't as clear-cut for you as you wish it would be.
Parenting teens is hard. Yes, it is..... | |
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emm said: Cinnie said: I would still say, just for style's sake, PUSH THE PANT SUIT
Well, I think it is a perfect "compromise" for formal wear. | |
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Cinnie said: thekidsgirl said: We aren't living in perfect times now, but I find that the world is a bit more accepting of homosexuality in some places....
If she feels comfortable wearing a tux to prom and going witha girl, chances are that she has a supportive circle of friends and doesn't feel afraid When I was in high school, several girls wore masculine formal wear to prom and they were amoung the most popular girls there. Especially one girl who wore a top hat and pimp cane
I think she was voted one of the "best dressed" What was your grad year? 1991 | |
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keyiemo said: thekidsgirl said: We aren't living in perfect times now, but I find that the world is a bit more accepting of homosexuality in some places....
If she feels comfortable wearing a tux to prom and going witha girl, chances are that she has a supportive circle of friends and doesn't feel afraid When I was in high school, several girls wore masculine formal wear to prom and they were amoung the most popular girls there. Especially one girl who wore a top hat and pimp cane
I think she was voted one of the "best dressed" She mentioned going all out and doing this. It takes a certain comfort level with you peers to even consider coming out like that....The girls at my school who wore menswear did it with pride and everybody else was really supportive of them (including their families) If you will, so will I | |
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raveon2tnek said: [bait snip - CarrieMpls]
What tha?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? | |
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keyiemo said: raveon2tnek said: [bait snip - CarrieMpls]
What tha?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Oh gawd! Ignore this person!! Please!  If you will, so will I | |
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emm said: it's hard but i would think what she will remember most regardless of how anyone else treats her is if her parents had her back or not.
my neice started dying her hair purple and wearing clothes held together with saftey pins when she was in highschool. her grandmother was ashamed at first but has realized the girl inside didn't change. now sarah's come out as gay and we just want her to be happy. i'm thankful kids have the opportunity to find themselves at a younger age instead of denying it like some in previous generations felt they had to. btw two girls wore tuxes when i was in school 18 ( ) years ago. one was gay one just was never ever going to wear a dress for nobody. lolthat's all i want for her, too. | |
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emm said: it's hard but i would think what she will remember most regardless of how anyone else treats her is if her parents had her back or not.
my neice started dying her hair purple and wearing clothes held together with saftey pins when she was in highschool. her grandmother was ashamed at first but has realized the girl inside didn't change. now sarah's come out as gay and we just want her to be happy. i'm thankful kids have the opportunity to find themselves at a younger age instead of denying it like some in previous generations felt they had to. btw two girls wore tuxes when i was in school 18 ( ) years ago. one was gay one just was never ever going to wear a dress for nobody. lol | |
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thekidsgirl said: keyiemo said: She mentioned going all out and doing this. It takes a certain comfort level with you peers to even consider coming out like that....The girls at my school who wore menswear did it with pride and everybody else was really supportive of them (including their families) I'm sayin'...  her daughter must be aware of what her comfort level is with her peers to even consider menswear.
The top hat and cane makes the difference for some reason | |
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raveon2tnek said: [bait snip - CarrieMpls]
Crap...just as I was getting all uplifted and feeling pretty good..someone had to go and bring me down...reminds me of an old boyfriend. 
Anyway, THANKS SOOOOO MUCH to everyone else for your support. I really need it because I'm really stressing about this.  | |
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keyiemo said: emm said: now sarah's come out as gay and we just want her to be happy. that's all i want for her, too.she sounds like a strong young woman. you've done well
can't edit today  [Edited 3/15/09 10:13am] She couldn't stop crying 'cause she knew he was gone to stay | |
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emm said: FunkMistress said: I should also say this: It is so clear that you love your daughter very much. Kudos to you for reaching out for some support on this. You seem to want to do the right thing, and "the right thing" isn't as clear-cut for you as you wish it would be.
agreed I do want to do the right thing and I want her to be happy..she is a very strong young woman and very bright...I guess I just want to protect my little girl.... | |
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Cinnie said: emm said:
Well, I think it is a perfect "compromise" for formal wear. I think I'm going to really push the pants suit. Will a pants suit and top hat and cane look tacky?? | |
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emm said: keyiemo said: that's all i want for her, too.
she sounds like a strong young woman. you've done well
totally. | |
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emm said: FunkMistress said: I should also say this: It is so clear that you love your daughter very much. Kudos to you for reaching out for some support on this. You seem to want to do the right thing, and "the right thing" isn't as clear-cut for you as you wish it would be.
agreed | |
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keyiemo said: Cinnie said:
Well, I think it is a perfect "compromise" for formal wear. I think I'm going to really push the pants suit. Will a pants suit and top hat and cane look tacky?? haha well yeah, ya kinda gotta do the whole tux with cane and top hat, OR the pant suit. can you find some nice satin or silk pant suits, the kind of material that would be in a dress? The coat at the top could even look tuxy. | |
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