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Are you too self-conscious? By Dr. Marion Goertz (canadianliving.com) (http://lifestyle.sympatic...date=False)
Learn how to stop obsessing about yourself. When children are over- or under-protected, they miss out on being curious and playful, on making mistakes, on learning. They may grow up to lack confidence in their ability to make good life decisions and to keep themselves safe. This perceived lack of competence often causes them great anxiety and leads to spending too much time and energy critiquing their every thought, word and action. If you struggle with being overly self-conscious, you are likely high on self-awareness and low on self-acceptance. Begin now to acquire a healthy sense of self that will involve taking risks, making mistakes and, if you're doing it right, being silly. You owe it to yourself and to the next generation; an anxious, overly self-conscious parent often produces a child with the same crippling approach to life. Some indicators that you're self-obsessed: • You think everything that happens or doesn't is somehow about you. • You try to control other people's feelings and accuse them of controlling yours. • You sift everything that happens through your sense of entitlement, worth, needs. • You feel vulnerable or victimized most of the time. • You waste time and energy monitoring the way you walk, talk, look, perform and still feel you've messed up. • You constantly rehash every daily event, berating yourself or revelling in every moment of glory. • You think people are focusing on you more than they really are and you edit your behaviour accordingly. • You dress for the approval of others rather than your own quirky sense of style. • Your every communication starts with “I” and focuses on what you are thinking, feeling, doing, etc. • You commandeer every conversation with your own -- worse or better -- experience. • When you look up the word “narcissism” it sounds like you. Ways to obsess less and enjoy life more: • Tackle one issue at a time (i.e., shyness, low self-esteem, negative attitude). • Trust friends who tell you to get over yourself when you become self-focused. • Be realistic; perfection doesn't exist. • Give yourself time to learn how to balance your perspectives and enjoy life more. • Decide that when it comes to rating yourself, good enough is good enough. • Get a handle on what's made you so uptight and talk it through. • Deal with your emotional extremes; be curious and not critical. • Listen to your instincts when you sense unsafe people or situations nearby. • Relax. Trust yourself. You're in good hands - yours. Dr. Marion Goertz is a registered marriage and family therapist. Visit her website at www.mariongoertz.com. | |
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oh boy | |
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If you struggle with being overly self-conscious, you are likely high on self-awareness and low on self-acceptance.
 That sums it up right there.RIP, mom. I will forever miss and love you. | |
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I was very over-protected, no WONDER   | |
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I am still over-protected!
I think my mother was under-protected and made sure it didn't happen to her children though. | |
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Cinnie said: I am still over-protected!
I think my mother was under-protected and made sure it didn't happen to her children though. I think parents can only do their best, it's a fine line sometimes! | |
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ZombieKitten said: Cinnie said: I am still over-protected!
I think my mother was under-protected and made sure it didn't happen to her children though. I think parents can only do their best, it's a fine line sometimes! Yeah I don't blame her  | |
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but do you think you can be over and under protected both?   She couldn't stop crying 'cause she knew he was gone to stay | |
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Cinnie said: (http://lifestyle.sympatic...date=False)
Learn how to stop obsessing about yourself. When children are over- or under-protected, they miss out on being curious and playful, on making mistakes, on learning. They may grow up to lack confidence in their ability to make good life decisions and to keep themselves safe. This perceived lack of competence often causes them great anxiety and leads to spending too much time and energy critiquing their every thought, word and action. If you struggle with being overly self-conscious, you are likely high on self-awareness and low on self-acceptance. Begin now to acquire a healthy sense of self that will involve taking risks, making mistakes and, if you're doing it right, being silly. You owe it to yourself and to the next generation; an anxious, overly self-conscious parent often produces a child with the same crippling approach to life. Some indicators that you're self-obsessed: • You think everything that happens or doesn't is somehow about you. • You try to control other people's feelings and accuse them of controlling yours. • You sift everything that happens through your sense of entitlement, worth, needs. • You feel vulnerable or victimized most of the time. • You waste time and energy monitoring the way you walk, talk, look, perform and still feel you've messed up. • You constantly rehash every daily event, berating yourself or revelling in every moment of glory. • You think people are focusing on you more than they really are and you edit your behaviour accordingly. • You dress for the approval of others rather than your own quirky sense of style. • Your every communication starts with “I” and focuses on what you are thinking, feeling, doing, etc. • You commandeer every conversation with your own -- worse or better -- experience. • When you look up the word “narcissism” it sounds like you. Ways to obsess less and enjoy life more: • Tackle one issue at a time (i.e., shyness, low self-esteem, negative attitude). • Trust friends who tell you to get over yourself when you become self-focused. • Be realistic; perfection doesn't exist. • Give yourself time to learn how to balance your perspectives and enjoy life more. • Decide that when it comes to rating yourself, good enough is good enough. • Get a handle on what's made you so uptight and talk it through. • Deal with your emotional extremes; be curious and not critical. • Listen to your instincts when you sense unsafe people or situations nearby. • Relax. Trust yourself. You're in good hands - yours. Dr. Marion Goertz is a registered marriage and family therapist. Visit her website at www.mariongoertz.com. Go read some posts in P+R, that shit is rife over there | |
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mdiver said: Go read some posts in P+R, that shit is rife over there
I only go there when the current news topic isn't in GD | |
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Cinnie said: mdiver said: Go read some posts in P+R, that shit is rife over there
I only go there when the current news topic isn't in GD Its amessing | |
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Well Christ Almighty:
When children are over- or under-protected, they miss out on being curious and playful, on making mistakes, on learning. They may grow up to lack confidence in their ability to make good life decisions and to keep themselves safe. This perceived lack of competence often causes them great anxiety and leads to spending too much time and energy critiquing their every thought, word and action.
That pretty much sums my life up. Quite depressing. [...i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...] | |
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I shouldn't have come on the org today. 
Now I'm about to cry in the middle of the library.  [...i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...] | |
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sammij said: Well Christ Almighty:
When children are over- or under-protected, they miss out on being curious and playful, on making mistakes, on learning. They may grow up to lack confidence in their ability to make good life decisions and to keep themselves safe. This perceived lack of competence often causes them great anxiety and leads to spending too much time and energy critiquing their every thought, word and action.
That pretty much sums my life up. Quite depressing. Same here girlfrien....pass me a tissue  If you will, so will I | |
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thekidsgirl said: sammij said: Well Christ Almighty:
That pretty much sums my life up. Quite depressing. Same here girlfrien....pass me a tissue we're pretty horrible people
but apparently, it's easy to overcome by following those easy steps [...i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...] | |
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sammij said: thekidsgirl said: Same here girlfrien....pass me a tissue we're pretty horrible people
but apparently, it's easy to overcome by following those easy steps yeah! easier said than done!  If you will, so will I | |
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thekidsgirl said: sammij said: we're pretty horrible people
but apparently, it's easy to overcome by following those easy steps yeah! easier said than done! i know it's kind of hard not even saying "I" in a sentence anymore [...i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...] | |
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sammij said: thekidsgirl said: yeah! easier said than done! i know it's kind of hard not even saying "I" in a sentence anymore  If you will, so will I | |
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sammij said: I shouldn't have come on the org today.
Now I'm about to cry in the middle of the library. Aww, don't cry.  RIP, mom. I will forever miss and love you. | |
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psychodelicide said: sammij said: I shouldn't have come on the org today.
Now I'm about to cry in the middle of the library. Aww, don't cry. I didn't... ...i held it in till i came home. 
this wasn't all that made me cry today (to everyone ing right now), it was just the cherry on top...  [...i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...] | |
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sammij said: psychodelicide said: Aww, don't cry. I didn't... ...i held it in till i came home.
this wasn't all that made me cry today (to everyone ing right now), it was just the cherry on top... I know what you mean. I had a couple of days like that just recently.RIP, mom. I will forever miss and love you. | |
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sammij said: psychodelicide said: Aww, don't cry. I didn't... ...i held it in till i came home.
this wasn't all that made me cry today (to everyone ing right now), it was just the cherry on top... | |
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so who else feels this way? [...i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...] | |
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Cinnie said: Some indicators that you're self-obsessed: • You think everything that happens or doesn't is somehow about you. • You try to control other people's feelings and accuse them of controlling yours. • You sift everything that happens through your sense of entitlement, worth, needs. • You feel vulnerable or victimized most of the time. • You waste time and energy monitoring the way you walk, talk, look, perform and still feel you've messed up. • You constantly rehash every daily event, berating yourself or revelling in every moment of glory. • You think people are focusing on you more than they really are and you edit your behaviour accordingly. • You dress for the approval of others rather than your own quirky sense of style. • Your every communication starts with “I” and focuses on what you are thinking, feeling, doing, etc. • You commandeer every conversation with your own -- worse or better -- experience. • When you look up the word “narcissism” it sounds like you. Isn't everyone like this though?  "I saw a woman with major Hammer pants on the subway a few weeks ago and totally thought of you." - sextonseven | |
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minneapolisgenius said: Cinnie said: Some indicators that you're self-obsessed: • You think everything that happens or doesn't is somehow about you. • You try to control other people's feelings and accuse them of controlling yours. • You sift everything that happens through your sense of entitlement, worth, needs. • You feel vulnerable or victimized most of the time. • You waste time and energy monitoring the way you walk, talk, look, perform and still feel you've messed up. • You constantly rehash every daily event, berating yourself or revelling in every moment of glory. • You think people are focusing on you more than they really are and you edit your behaviour accordingly. • You dress for the approval of others rather than your own quirky sense of style. • Your every communication starts with “I” and focuses on what you are thinking, feeling, doing, etc. • You commandeer every conversation with your own -- worse or better -- experience. • When you look up the word “narcissism” it sounds like you. Isn't everyone like this though? apparently not!  | |
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Oh this kinda book scares me.
I think my biggest problem is I guard myself way too much. Dont let people in, dont let people get too close... Dont like to hear others opinions or suggestions when it comes to "me" I have the ability to tune and shut people out in a matter of seconds... Im not proud of any of this, but im slowly working on making some type of progress. I really dont know what "right" is, so I guess im working on letting loved ones get closer to me.... SLOWLY.... Say it's just a dream...
U open up ur eyes and come 2 realize u simply imagined this So u lean over and give her a kiss Here on earth, here on earth, with u it's not so bad Here on earth, here on earth eye don't feel so sad Stay right here |
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amorbella said: Oh this kinda book scares me.
I think my biggest problem is I guard myself way too much. Dont let people in, dont let people get too close... Dont like to hear others opinions or suggestions when it comes to "me" I have the ability to tune and shut people out in a matter of seconds... Im not proud of any of this, but im slowly working on making some type of progress. I really dont know what "right" is, so I guess im working on letting loved ones get closer to me.... SLOWLY.... None of that sounds like the Jeannie i know | |
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mdiver said: amorbella said: Oh this kinda book scares me.
I think my biggest problem is I guard myself way too much. Dont let people in, dont let people get too close... Dont like to hear others opinions or suggestions when it comes to "me" I have the ability to tune and shut people out in a matter of seconds... Im not proud of any of this, but im slowly working on making some type of progress. I really dont know what "right" is, so I guess im working on letting loved ones get closer to me.... SLOWLY.... None of that sounds like the Jeannie i know
butterflies Say it's just a dream...
U open up ur eyes and come 2 realize u simply imagined this So u lean over and give her a kiss Here on earth, here on earth, with u it's not so bad Here on earth, here on earth eye don't feel so sad Stay right here |
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ZombieKitten said: minneapolisgenius said: Isn't everyone like this though? apparently not! I'm getting the feeling that there's a whole nother world out there that I know nothing about. "I saw a woman with major Hammer pants on the subway a few weeks ago and totally thought of you." - sextonseven | |
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minneapolisgenius said: ZombieKitten said: apparently not! I'm getting the feeling that there's a whole nother world out there that I know nothing about. I know  with sports and stuff | |
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