The other day, I was driving to work (listening to Howard, of course ) and they played "Purple Rain" coming back from a break. As Howard went on about what a great song it was and how much he loved the movie (despite an implausible plot), I thought, 'This is such a sad song'.

Then I thought, 'Being sad is so...dumb.'

Seriously, that's what I thought.

Now, I've had plenty of sadness in my life. But I've come to a place where the kind of emotion expressed in this song doesn't make sense to me anymore.

If you know what I'm singin' about up here, c'mon: raise your hand.

it costs a lot more energy than laughing anyway.

Sometimes you need sadness; sometimes it's something you have to muck through in order to not feel sad about something anymore. And sometimes being sad feels like such an indulgence. Everyone's always saying "buck up" and "man up" and "turn that frown upside down" and all that crap. Well, screw them. They don't know what's in my head or yours, and sometimes you have to find a nice quiet corner and pout it out.

So no, being sad is NOT dumb. I think at times it is very necessary.

Sadness as a lifestyle choice? Okay, dumb.

Anxiety said:

it is tough to not be sad sometimes, as with me personally, its the past and memories that get me down more then anything. It shouldn't but it does.

Is it only me, but does being tired make you sad? Is this an obvious point. I.e, if you got alot of energy, odds are you wont think sad thoughts or whatever?

Anxiety said:

to all that.

Anxiety said:

oh yeah!

Anxiety said:

Who do you know that makes being sad a choice?

Screw sadness. Let's discuss why you weren't taking the TTC to work!

thesexofit said:

There are people who do make the choice to wallow in unhappiness - just like there are people who choose to live angry or happy lives.

Genesia said:

? I think people who are constantly unhappy want to change, but just cant.

For example, I know someone who's back is so bad, he can barely move out of bed. All day long he cant do anything, no doctor can cure it. Not surprisenly, he is very sad and seems to of given up on life some of the time. He says he can be happy for a little while, but the physical pain brings him down. Maybe this is an extreme example, but its really tough in some circumstances

thesexofit said:

meth addicts. there is a lady who cries at the drop of a hat because she is trying to make people feel bad and give her money to 'feed her kids', but its really to support her habit.

thesexofit said:

some, but some feel that everyone owes them something because of their unhappiness. so its an easy tool or crutch to use to 'come up'.

thesexofit said:

I don't believe in "can't." As my father says, "People are exactly where they want to be. If they didn't want to be there, they'd find a way to be somewhere else."

Now, obviously, people can sometimes encounter circumstances that put them in a place they don't want to be. But if they really don't want to be there...they do whatever they can to fix the situation as quickly as they can. If they decide to stay there and wallow in it...then there's something in the sadness (or other negative circumstances) that works for them.

Genesia said:

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[Edited 3/11/09 19:01pm]

Genesia said:

In this case (and in any real physical pain), he cant fix it the problem. Really bad physical pain 24/7 would make anyone sad or depressed. Nothing he can do.


I agree with you and Anxiety on the whole, but of course, there are rather obvious, if rare exceptions sometimes.

i think self-pity should be distinguished from sadness. self-pity is one thing, and people should not wallow in that.

but i think that people can suffer grave misfortune, leading to feelings of sadness. for example the darfur refugees. among their numbers are thousands of small children who have lost their families and have no food, no shelter, no medical attention. no hope.

for those who are unlucky, and have not the means to change their circumstances sadness in them would be natural, and perfectly normal.

thesexofit said:

Obviously, if someone has a physical disability, that isn't a choice.
This discussion was about whether some people choose to be unhappy.

Genesia said:

He could still choose to be happy as he ain't a slave, or homeless etc.. I just dont think its really possible in my friends situation. At least, not most of the time.

Anxiety said:

No it is not dumb and to blanketedly say that people have a choice is incorrect. Tragic events,loss, life altering experiences,or chemical changes can attribute to sadness.

Prince's Sarah

being sad happens, its just a part of life

pretending to be sad to get attention is dumb though

thekidsgirl said:

so is pretending to be happy.

ConsciousContact said:

I agree with that one. I know a few ppl that do that.
I have not figured out why, seems like a waste of energy to me.

Genesia said:

ConsciousContact said:

apparently smiling even though you feel like shit can improve your mood, since others respond to you in a positive way - it CAN cheer you up

Sadness for me, is very brief. I have had some awful curves thrown my way, in my life time, but I bounce back pretty fast. Being sad is not dumb, I just am good at blocking it from my world, I prefer to deal with things and get them behind me.

I wish I were in your shoes and didn't feel that emotion anymore. There are some days I will cry for no reason and it comes out from nowhere. I guess it comes with being a woman

Music can have an effect on your mood. I believe that. When I saw Prince sang "Purple Rain", I thought that was the end of The Kid, but many of us know it turned out to be an happy ending.

music is very imprtant formood.

since i dont talk that much.

Anxiety said:

Amen !