Is it possible to part ways like adults and make clean breaks? Or at one point or another does someone kanive (I have no idea how to spell that) and does one person act like a child. Can you overcome that and keep stuff civil??

It is possible. I'm doing it right now. I got divorced last April and he was a total ass, but we're good now and we are friends for the boys.

Hi Dani.

And, no, never. Except sometimes.

My ex doens't believe in acting like an adult he is acting like a child right now

TotalANXiousNESS said:

sure

cheers!
~svn seven

it's possible, but not usually immediate...most folks tend to be a lil' less than open about their true feelings during break ups and express themselves with anger and bitterness...that usually fades over time-usually

It sure is. I guess it might be harder when kids are involved. It should make both adults stand up and act like adults for the sake of the children but I know that it does not always happen that way.
I have been through it twice.
Never easy but you can make a clean break if that is what you really want.

another thing about a true, clean break, atleast from my experience, is that it can lead to to a reconciliation...a clean break can kinda take you back to where the realtionship started; like a mutual respect or understanding...

sometimes

TotalANXiousNESS said:

connive, conniving.

IT takes two to tangle and two to have a mature relationship.

You have to assess what it's worth and act accordingly.
[Edited 3/7/09 10:23am]

TotalANXiousNESS said:

It is possible

roodboi said:

Friends with all my ex's. With one, we were ok in separate states . . . .

SUPRMAN said:

- though it only takes one to rise above if the other chooses not to

SUPRMAN said:

I totally read that as 'two asses'

roodboi said:

OMG. I just did too.


I need glasses.

SUPRMAN said:

I am friends - and good one at that - with my Xs

SUPRMAN said:

I'm immature when it comes to fucking shit up and being spiteful.

He's immature about money and possesions.

It's possible, but not likely, especially when money and hurt feelings are involved. Add a dash of control issues, and it's a major disaster.

Mach said:

That should have been 'tango' but tangle, isn't too bad a slip considering.

For some people, it's possible right away but, in my experience, it takes a long while.

My parents both acted like fucking babies for about 10 years or so after they got divorced. Things settled down after my dad got into a stable relationship and everything has gone smoothly since then.

You're looking for connive.

And yes, it is possible. But it takes hard work and a mature attitude on both parties' parts, and unfortunately that's not something a lot of so-called adults are prepared to do.

SUPRMAN said:

I'm sure it's possible, but both sides need to want it, and let go of their anger against the other. Know that you need to give up things on both sides, and only be stubborn about the most important things, or else you'll end up fighting and making a mess, over the small, petty things.

You should totally listen to me, even though I have no experience in the matter.

it seems familiar emotions (rejection, injustice, helplessness, fear or abandonment) all come bubbling up from the past and revert otherwise normal adults back to a childlike state in dealing (or rather NOT dealing) with their situation.

I reckon most folks have unresolved childhood issues, and not many of them bother to do anything about it since it only rears its ugly head once in a while.

ArielB said:

that's rare, one will usually want it a whole lot more, sometimes one won't want it at all, which is extremely painful

ZombieKitten said:

That's why it's only a possibility.

ArielB said:

if the rejected one is the one with the unresolved childhood issues - BIG TROUBLE

hokie said:

Has it already been almost a year? Wow time does fly.

Very possible.

It's possible if both people actually want that. But one or both might get weak & push buttons or keep in contact, draggin the whole thing out and making the break difficult or even impossible.

Usually that person is me