I've seen this scenario a couple of times and I've always wondered if it would be disrespectful if I approached a woman who was out with her gay male friend(s)
And if she's out with him(them), does that mean she's not looking for anybody that night?

Yes. They beg for it from us because they're being ignored by straights

Yep, totally fine.

If I were straight, I would include gay bars as a place to pick up chicks, by the way. In the really popular bars, there are always good-looking women who are out to have fun.

Efan said:

I thought about that but have yet to do it. A former friend of mine was gay and everytime we went out hot girls would run up to him and latch on. Needless to say, that was like being at a seafood place with someone who was allergic, what he didn't want he just passed along to me.
He always tried to get me to tag-along to gay bars but like I said before I've yet to do it. Could be fun.

jockeyb4u said:

Go! You'll have fun. There's very little competition, and just by virtue of your being there, girls will think you're cool. Two huge pluses!

Yes, because you know damn well her gay friends have a roving eye out the entire time and would ditch her for a hook-up at the drop of a hat.

errant said:

it's the unspoken agreement!

I got stuck at copasetic, so I can't answer.

It's cool, but maybe consider a couple things...

1) Some women hang out with their gay male pals because, in fact, they don't want to be bothered by straight men hounding them. It might be respectful to the guy(s) (because they may not be gay, and could be dating the woman) and show an impressive level of social decorum to first approach one of the guys and ask if she's "with" one of them... and maybe if she'd mind you buying her a drink.

2) If you try to pick up a girl who is with her gay friends, your presentation better be ON POINT! It's tough enough getting the stamp of approval from a woman's female friends, but her gay male friends will very likely be checking you out under an electron microscope... and ready to rip you into confetti if you come off the least bit "off."

Anxiety said:

my best straight guy friend didn't take too well to it after we were reunited for our first night out together in years last summer.

Hell Yeah!! That's almost a "get out of jail free" card...no comp for the girl's attention....unless your game is on life support or just flatlining...you should be good to go....

Lammastide said:

So...I should romance the guy, but make my intentions clear that I want to go home with the girl?

ArielB said:

Me too

reneGade20 said:

Co-sign but

errant said:

i was talking about this with a friend of mine last week. i've never done it,
but i've seen it happen. lol.

the worst part is that they'll ditch their girlfriend and leave her stranded
to see how the heck she can get home and next week they'll be there again,
dancing away and sipping white wine spritzers as if nothing ever happened

errant said:

See - that's the thing, though. If it's your first time hanging out in years, then it's just plain rude. If it's someone you hang out with every week, then, yeah, you're gonna see them soon, no biggie who goes home with who.

CarrieMpls said:

i have to agree here

and even if it's someone you see every week. it all depends on what you
arranged for the night. if your friend is alone and only there because
you went out together, i feel you should stick together. i just wouldn't
be able to dump a friend and ruin a night out just for sex.

if the trade wants you right now, they'll also want you tomorrow if you
arrange to hook up again. if not, the trade should get to steppin'



fcuz, this is coming from me, who's the one that's left at the bar with
his orange juice as the rest of the gang is getting it on.

IstenSzek said:

I think I had a good arrangement with my gay boyfriends, though. (When I used to go out, that is. I just don't do it anymore. )

They wouldn't have ditched me at the beginning or the middle of the night. We just knew that we might not be sharing a cab home later, is all. And they wouldn't have left me without telling/asking, etc. They'd have made sure I had a way home/cabfare/wasn't too drunk to get in my door / etc. For the most part, they were gentleman about ditching me for their trick.

CarrieMpls said:

is there a connection between these two?

jockeyb4u said:

"Romance" the guy? I hadn't thought of it that way. But you certainly should be aware that "charming" the guy(s) as well as the girl (or basically roundly showing yourself as an individual worthy of her) might get you places insofar as her friends may be gatekeepers partly by her designs.

Im not saying be fake. Just be aware she's got a few extra set of eyes looking out. And as males, they know all the possible tricks, vested interests, etc. you may have spinning in your head.
[Edited 3/7/09 7:10am]

jockeyb4u said:

Go for it. Doesn't mean she's not looking for dick too.

She may be open and just not on a mission . . .

errant said:

LOL

So true . . . .
She's not gonna keep them off a dick.

jockeyb4u said:

Don't romance the guy, conversation should be enough.

CarrieMpls said:

He got over it and it was sort of a heat-of-the-moment decision after an intense encounter outside the bar during a smoke break. I think it was more that he hadn't seen me in action before and was a bit thrown off by the whole thing.

Plus, the bar was closing and he had driven, so he wasn't stranded or anything.

Anxiety said:

Truth!