Ugh!! For me it has to be pancakes. I cannot make pancakes to save my life! I've tried and tried forever. Either it's not a perfect circle, not enough batter or too little batter. It's either burned on one side or the other. Then after I FAIL I have to clean up all that frickin' batter mess and open a door to air out the smoke...I give up!!

Anything that you've tried to cook or make that just never seems to come out right?

homemade macaroni & cheese.....can't get it to have a taste without dumping a whole bag of salt in it to save my life

Every attempt I've made at Jell-o has failed

Sugar cookies. All I ask for is one decent batch made by my own hands. I even manage to fuck up the refrigerated ones and all I have to do with those and put them in the oven.

Pancakes? really? Damn, I thought I was terrible in the kitchen. lol



I can't make Beef Wellington and pate.

AnckSuNamun said:

Well I do better with Beef Wellington than I do with the champagne, umm sparkling wine.

JuliePurplehead said:

This won't help you make perfect sugar cookies, but it will definitely make you not notice: Get a mini muffin pan and fill each cup about 3/4 full with sugar cookie dough. Cook for about 7 or 8 minutes and immediately after you pull them out, insert a miniature Reese's peanut butter cup into them. Each one is a little slice of heaven.

dannyd5050 said:

strike that from your list...i never care if mine are ' perfect circles'

missfee said:

Have you tried any of the secrets? Tabasco or dry mustard (or even deli mustard) in the cheese sauce?

I can make good pancakes. Just made some for the rugrats this morning.

I can't make pork for some reason. I can cook the hell out of some chicken and beef (even though I don't eat them), but I have not made a tender, edible pork dish in my life. I've even tried brining it overnight, but instead of shoe leather it was just really salty shoe leather. Good thing I don't care for pork either.

I'm mean with some desserts or veggie stir frys, though. And breakfast I'm pretty good at too. Oh, and homemade pasta sauces. Also, my soups and chilis are to die for.

I am trying to work on my self-confidence, though. I don't think I give myself enough credit.

hokie said:

What kind of flour do you use? I like using a mix of wholegrain and white.

FunkMistress said:

I have been wanting to try that. I have slowing switched from eating reg. pasta to 100% whole wheat pasta. It really tastes the same pretty much.

I just use regular flour and I add 2 tbsp. of sugar and 1 tsp. of vanilla extract. Those two things make them really light and fluffy.

hokie said:

Yum, I love vanilla in my pancakes.

That's funny, almost everything I buy is whole grain except pasta. I guess it's the Italian in me. I buy whole grain bread, waffles, tortillas, bagels, rice, and English muffins, but for macaroni it's got to be white semolina! The semolina isn't as bad for you as the bleached flour they use in baking, anyhow.

FunkMistress said:

I'll check it out next time I go to buy flour.

hokie said:

You make your own pasta???

FunkMistress said:

Oh lord woman.

No. I meant that I'll buy some whole grain flour. I don't make my own pasta. It would be cool to try.

I always try and make my own pie crusts for my apple pies. My grandma taught me, but when I go to do it on my own I flub it up.

hokie said:

Ah. I see.

Piecrust is another place where you shouldn't try to substitute whole wheat. There you need the horrible bleached stuff.

Do you live in a warm climate? That can sometimes be the problem. Try sticking the mixture in the fridge for an hour after you first combine but before you get to the part where you roll it out. Then really mix it in and roll it. That should help!

FunkMistress said:

Thanks for the tip. Yes. I live in sucky ass humid Virginia.

dannyd5050 said:

I can't make those thick ones you call pancakes, but here is a nice recipe for crepes:
1 cup plain flour
1 egg
1 cup milk
(if you have 3 kids, triple the quantities - kids easily eat 5 each )

mix it up, let it sit 15 mins
get a big soup ladle and a smallish fry pan

put the pan on low heat, not lowest, but maybe next notch.
spray a little oil
pour in one ladleful of batter

turn it once it doesn't look shiny on the top anymore, when it's dull it's cooked through

put the finished cooked ones all on one plate, they'll stay warm in a stack until ready to serve

I have never been able to make a flourless cake that didn't look like a sink-hole.

Also merangue isn't a strongpoint

Hmmm, probably M&M cookies. I can make them okay, and people tell me they are good. But for some reason, they never tasted as good as when my mom used to make them.

hokie said:

Yup, humidity is your enemy. I didn't know this until I moved to Florida and tried my hand at real yeast cinnamon rolls. The dough was all sticky and impossible to work with, it got all over my counters, my hands, my rolling pin, everywhere but sticking together and making a nice shape. Then everything got covered in flour from all the extra flour I was furiously working into the dough trying to stiffen it up. I nearly tore apart my fucking kitchen that day, and I know I cursed at every person who crossed my path. Sorry about that, JerseyKRS.

Anyway, I cried to my mother-in-law about it, and she was all, duh, bitch, you can't bake in Florida, the fucking humidity! So I went online and read that you should chill everything before trying to work with it. Let my horrible misfortune be your lesson, grasshopper.

furiously working...stiffen it up edit
[Edited 2/21/09 15:43pm]

I feel your pain about pancakes. I can manage maybe 3 pancakes (out of 5 or 6) from a package of Jiffy blueberry. You'd think I'd have learned by now that ya gotta make a test-burn pancake, but do I - no.

I'm great at pancakes. I make Mickey Mouse shaped ones. I make them from scratch. If you put a little sugar in the batter and use buttermilk, they come out better. Cook them on medium/low heat, and let the pan heat up completely first.

I cannot make stir-fried rice like the Chinese restaurant. Even with a cook-book, I cannot get it right. I even froze the rice first like a friend suggested. Still no good. I came close once...only once. What is the freakin' secret???

noimageatall said:

lots of fat probably

ZombieKitten said:

In the rice?

noimageatall said:

to fry it up in, it's always greasier than I remember

ZombieKitten said:

But I've had rice that wasn't greasy, and not sticky either. Mine ends up sticky. There had to be a trick. I swear I'm going back to the restaurant and ask someone.

noimageatall said:

maybe try undercooking the rice the day before? I always use basmati rice these days, lower GI. It is usually never sticky if cooked absorption method.