Okay, here we are for another installment of my daily stupidity... our topic for today is the necessity of the so-called "courtesy flush" when deficating in public restrooms.

Why is this topic dear to my heart, you ask? Simple...

After drinking a few large glasses of water and a 24 ounce Diet Pepsi today, I needed to urinate as most people would after such an experience. I walked to the restroom with hopes of a pleasurable urination experience, as you know that emptying your bladder can be quite enjoyable when you have had far too much to drink. I could tell that something was wrong as I hit the door... a man more or less sprinted out of the restroom with a disturbed look on his face. I was concerned for my safety but the urge to purge was too strong... I hit the door and entered the restroom.

What I encountered upon entering the hostile air space of the restroom was not to be believed. I am not joking when I say that it smelled like there were multiple dead animals in the room. It was horrible. I held my breath for as long as I could but I was overcome by the need for oxygen and was forced to breathe...

...a decision...

Should I breathe through my nose and smell the awful, pungent stench or should I breathe through my mouth and risk the possibility of microscopic shit particles infesting my tongue and causing me to vomit?

I chose the nose... it was horrible! I could not keep myself from saying, "Oh, god... that is fucking horrible" when I smelled it... the big stall patron did not waver in his resolve, he just kept pounding it out.

A friend of mine walked into the restroom at this point... I looked up and saw the look on his face... it was a look of bewilderment and disillusionment. He could not believe what was happening in there.

I finished up as quickly as I possibly could, considering the massive amount of liquid that I had consumed and processed... I sprinted to the sink for a quick hand washing and even quicker exit... the smell followed me. I am now haunted and will never forget the horrors.

So, here is the plan...

GIVE US A FUCKING COURTESY FLUSH, YOU DISGUSTING FUCKERS!!! GODDAMN! CAN YOU NOT SMELL THAT FUCKING SHIT? WE CAN!

FUCK!

Next time just go outside! If I were a guy I would pee outside all the time. Public restrooms are fucking nasty.

Ok, I'm with you on this one. I think. What I consider a courtesy flush is flushing at the moment the load hits water. I consider this a requirement.

I ask you...why do folks let it sit the entire time they are in there reading a book, or pondering the meaning of life.

Does it make them high?

LaVisHh said:

I don't know if it makes these filthy fuckers high or not, but it definitely annoys everyone else... maybe that is the point.

Hmmm...

CarrieLee said:

I would too! You guys don't know how good you have it! The WORST are outhouses...I went to a park this summer with some friends and I had to use the so-called facilities (a cement shithouse) and OMG...I really did think that I was going to die.

That will be my hell.

applekisses said:

You just took me back to the days of the wooden outhouse. The ones where you wondered what was lurking in the dark stench below your ass, lmao!!!

I was sooo scared of those things, but on occasion had to use just that.

It was worst at night. Sure there was a little incandescent light hanging from the ceiling (some, lol), but that still left up to the imagination what was lurking below. :O

Maybe that's why my "events" are limited to a quick couple of minutes!

that is a grim tale indeed.Just why do ladies toilets remain pristine and gent's look and smell like effluence?

The only toilets i can think of that are bad for both sexes are on trains.I'd rather hold it in and wait til i got home at all costs than go in one of those.

FACT- I have never taken a sh*t in any crapper except my own and never will.

Thecherryloon said:

Never say never

Trust me...if you ever get sick (and I hope you don't) at some restaurant far from home. There's no holdin back!

Don wanna.
I've grown to like the foul stench that diffuses throughout a bathroom while i take a dump. I assume others will too. Like a pet showing its master its dead prey, in many relationships it is a sign of closeness and affection to share one's odor with a loved one.
To know me is to smell me, and to smell me is to love me.

LaVisHh said:

yeah, well you got me there! that could happen, but i try not to anyway!

i'm really self-conscious when i'm in an echoey toilet!

LaVisHh said:

I would seriously rather go outside and chance the poison ivy or oak.
Just call me Nature Girl!!

I would never have a number 2 in a public toilet,thats just nasty

Oh the shame of that stinky man

Much love Pochacco

I don't know, I'm guilty of a few stinkies myself.

sag10 said:

My boyfriend lives 2 blocks away from me so whenever I feel a little sickly I tell him I forgot something and go home for a few!! Maybe if he didn't live in a filty bachelor pad it would be different.

hahahahahahahaha!

You are all crackin me up. I was gonna post to everyone, but I'll just do it here.

Too funny. You know it's nature and all...sounds/smells/visuals...wonder why we are built to dislike it!

CarrieLee said:

I tell mine I need private time.. I had to edit this, to add that I heard him fart for the first time yesterday...He doesn't know I heard him....


[This message was edited Mon Dec 2 12:10:00 PST 2002 by sag10]
[This message was edited Mon Dec 2 12:10:22 PST 2002 by sag10]

sag10 said:

You have reached an important milestone where the man can finally begin to act like a man and not suppress his flatulence!

My momma taught mne about the courtesy flush--I mean damn..who wants to sit there maxin n relaxin while its stankin'. I agree..flush asap.

IceNine said:

sag10 said:

You two must be a new couple etc..love is being able to fart and be funky with each other

Love is not being able to fart in front of someone!! I've known this guy for 8 years and he will never hear me fart unless it's in my sleep! He farts all the time and I don't care, I just won't fart in front of him. Wait, I don't fart at all...women don't fart

rdhull said:

Almost a year!

CarrieLee said:

Yea, well I wait for a couple of years then I humble them...

CarrieLee said:

Carrie Carrie Carrie...let him see you as human etc...he wont mind lol. I know this one couple who have been together for 12 years and she still has not taken a shit in his presence..Man Im on some Eyes Wide Shut opening shit where Nicole peed in front of her man and wiped herself etc...thats love baby!

.
[This message was edited Mon Dec 2 12:28:27 PST 2002 by rdhull]

sag10 said:

In 5 years tiome godwilling you are still together ..dont worry..you'll be fartin lol

CarrieLee said:

The courtesy flush is a must. I give one every time. It's a sign of a good upbringing.

Which brings me to another point: How in the hell can anyone (guys, I'm talking to you) think it's OK to take a whiz and not flush?

Do you think I want to see how yellow your piss is?

Are you proud of it? Did you disintegrate a cigarette butt, and want to show off your manliness to all the other fellows? Did you take a good chunk out of the urinal cake?

For God's sakes man, FLUSH IT AWAY!

And another thing: who the hell picks their nose while taking a piss? You know who I'm talking about - the guys who pick a good one out, and then leave it on the wall for all others to see.

What the hell are you thinking? I know there's not a tissue nearby, but flick man, flick!

And answer me this: what could POSSIBLY make you put your finger up your nose right after it's touched Mr. Happy? You know what you're taking OUT of your nose, but did you ever stop to think about what you're putting UP your nose? (Hey, how 'bout that - two Prince song references in one paragraph.)

While we're talking about idiocy in the bathroom, someone explain this: why are there non-loosening screws holding the doors and fixtures in restroom toilets?

Have you seen those screws? They have half of each side of the head filed away, so you can tighten them (with a flathead screwdriver), but you can't loosen them.

What brought that on? Was there some epidemic of thievery involving toilet doors? Is there somewhere in America where it's cool to have a bathroom stall door instead of a regular door?

Has a black market developed for those sliding-latch locks that keep stall doors shut?

Enquiring minds want to know...

rdhull said:

I pee in front of him all the time. I really don't care if he knows I have to poo, we all do it. It's just that his bathroom isn't really girlfriendly, I'd rather go home and do it there!





[This message was edited Mon Dec 2 12:33:54 PST 2002 by CarrieLee]