Tomorrow is 6 months smoke-free.

About the only main trigger I have left is alcohol so I've basically stopped drinking as well.

But really everything was a trigger when I was a smoker. Driving, a good song, a bad song, after a good meal, after a crap meal, etc.


I don't think I will ever be able to overcome my food addiction, though.

No way is it easier. You can't just give up eating.

^ read the rest of my post, I added to it.

I know it sounds retarded, but I believe it was an addiction. I have never been addicted to drugs or smoking though I have tried it for experimental purposes as a teen, but this is what I face instead.

I don't know, dude. As long as it isn't fatal and it doesn't harm your body or mind and you feel good when doing, it can't be a drug.

Nicotine. Over three years clean.

Lately, I've been doing something I haven't done in a few years: playing guitar. I've been woodshedding and it struck me that it's my first time doing this without the cancer sticks. Feels very strange. But I will never go back to that shit! No electronic voicebox or tubes in the nose for me, thanks!

Have you ever tried to kick an addiction (cigarettes, alcohol, other drugs, food, etc.)? What were/are your triggers? Did/do you feel like a pathetic douchebag for not being able to kick their asses?

I don't think I was suggesting that. But you're obviously capable of great self-discipline; there's no reason you can't carry that over into eating healthier.

15 years here man.. dont smoke

Man, Ace should be a Yoga Instructor. You ever considered it, bro? Nirvana is present....like....WHOA!

But is it not harming his mind?

While it gives you a sick body, yoga seems a little too new-agey for me.

By the way: you should know that I was a total neurotic, anxious mess for many years. Luckily, I found good help. Getting older helped, too!

How old are you? You seem so youthful to me. You sound like me. I AM young, but people tell me in roundabout ways that I'm precocious (Or at least that's how it SOUNDS, to me).

I'm about 115 pounds lighter

and after I lose this last 25 pounds, I will be in the "normal" weight range for the first time in probably about my whole life

It really feels good to succeed

I'll be 42 in seven weeks and one day!

In some ways, you remind me of myself, when I was your age.

I have chilled out on him. I've gone for months without listening to him and I'm fine, but I still find myself on a message board or thinking about how hot he used to be or watching other artists and being reminded of him all the time even when I didn't want it. Nothing wrong with noticing those, but I let it get to me and get so mad that he fucked up shit for himself, and I think some of the reasons I act this way is because those days of being younger are behind me. Also, I'm a musician and though I'm inspired by lots of artists, mj is my biggest inspiration and I can't sing or dance without trying to emulate him though I'm not an impersonator either. Well, I saw him as a style icon for a few years when I was younger just a bit, but that's about it. And wherever I go, or if I turn on the tv after days and days, there just happens to be an mj reference when I'm in the room, almost like I'm attracting it. It's really weird and bizzare and I feel singled out for it happening to me.

Though I love him and have every album, I also hate him for making me feel this way. Sometimes if I act goofy or shy, I find myself comparing myself to him, but now I've realized that I've been insulting and bashing myself as a result of low self esteem and it's easier for my mind to project on someone not in my life than to address it. I realized a few months ago that each time I do this, it means I'm afraid to experience my own emotions and using the obsession as a cover. And even if I act like an asshole about him, if anyone brings up the allegations stuff, I feel like I've been punched in the stomach though at the same time, I think he's a moron for doing the interview and I don't defend him at all anymore.

All I have to do is establish a new routine and stick with it and I'll be fine.

It's not that simple.

I did try it a few times and it worked for a long time, then I went back to thinking, thinking, thinking, overanalyzing way too much.

I'm not really thinking of him right now though, don't care.

I used to be addicted to eating ice cubes too back in my early high school days. It started with one, but I made myself being capable of eating 60 cubes a day and couldn't stop without feeling incomplete or craving it. One day my dad yelled at me and threw out the trays after 3 years of being a nutcase with it, and since then I cut down slowly and now I can't even eat one without getting sensitive gums.

But you've written so much great stuff here. Surely you weren't high all that time? And I don't need to tell you that you can get relaxed without the pot, right?