Written in red ink at the top of my daughter, Mauni's (age 14) essay...
"I laughed out loud!! Great Story! A+"

Dear Mr Fineman,
I know this might sound crazy, but the funniest thing happened to my homework. A flock of seagulls pooped out my homework. Okay, this is how it began. I was eating breakfast. Bacon, sunny side up eggs, and french toast. I accidentily dropped a piece of bacon on my paper, leaving the stench of bacon on it. And, I just got finished with my last problem. I was leaving kind of late and I didn't have time to redo my homework, so, I left my house in a hurry, running to my bus stop, jamming on my IPOD to Paramore and System of a Down, with my home work in my hand.Oddly, a flock of seagulls smelled the delicious smell of bacon grease on my paper.The seagulls swooped down snatching the paper right out of my hand, ripping it into millions of little pieces, and eating it, thinking it was food. I was only a few points away from getting an 'A' in your class and I wasn't about to let that slip away.There was only one way to settle this. I had to steal my next door neighbor's Porsche to keep up with those stupid birds. But, I more like borrowed their car really. Thank God I didn't get caught driving the almost fastest car in the world. When I caught up to the seagulls when they landed, I saw a huge pile of white crap with tiny shreds of paper that was obviously my homework.
First of all, I wasn't about to pick up the crap, and secondly, touching on animal feeces is an abomination to human society. And it's just down right disgusting. Unless you wanted to be touching bird poo, I would just excuse this homework.
That's how I lost my homework.
Sincerely, Mauni

I am so proud!

I don't think teachers should be endorsing auto theft.

rnljs said:

Apparently, you've taught her well...